“Betrothal?” I frowned as his words came back to me. What an incredibly old-fashioned word.
“Well.... Yes. I was born into an arranged marriage. Like all High Warlock’s before me.”
So, it wasn’t just my mother who cheated. It was him. I couldn’t blame one and not the other. That would be hypocritical of me.
“Oh. Well, that sucks.”
Matlock cocked his head to the side. “Why do you say that?” he asked, seemingly confused.
Was he serious? I couldn’t think of anything but the pitfalls. “Because... what if you fell in love with someone else? My mother certainly loved you. What are you meant to do in that situation?”
What I really wanted to know was whether he loved my mother too. Was he just as heartbroken as my mother when she left each time? Or was this the perfect scenario for him – a woman he could fool around with, who would leave for long periods of time?
When I looked into his face, there was nothing but pinched discomfort. Oh.
I clenched my jaw and looked away. If that wasn’t the epitome of discomfort, I didn’t know what was. I shouldn’t be surprised, I shouldn’t, but I was.
I sighed when he didn’t answer. “You’re meant to do exactly what you did... aren’t you? Marry the woman they’ve arranged for you and... what? Not admit to having any other love affairs along the way? Using my mother for as long as you could, not expecting any sort of consequences? Having your cake and eating it too?”
Matlock slid forward on his seat and clasped his hands together in front of him. “Oh, no.” He shook his head. “I haven’t had any other women... My wife would...” He laughed. “My wife is a rather formidable woman and if she ever found out about Genevieve and you... I’m afraid there would be hell to pay for all of us.”
It surprised me that the High Warlock could be afraid of anything or anyone. He was supposed to be the most powerful warlock in the entire magic realm, and he was afraid of his wife?
I sucked in a painful breath, my lungs now feeling as though they had pieces of shattered glass in them. What did that mean for my future here? For my relationship with my only living parent? This was all for nothing. It sounded as though he wanted nothing to do with me. It sounded as though he was more concerned with the risk this posed for himself, let alone me. This was probably going to be the only time I got to spend with my father. From there, I would be regulated back to the home my sisters and I created. Not because I wanted to return there, but because I had to.
Matlock smiled kindly, though slightly condescendingly. “Look... Ava, I’m not sure why you came here today, because I’m not sure how I can help you,” he said.
I hated the way he talked to me. I hated that he thought I was some child with fantasies about meeting her father. Because that was exactly what I was and I didn’t want to admit it.
I felt like such a fool.
Disappointment flooded me at the flat-out rejection. All those years... wasted. Hoping for the love of a man who didn’t have it in him to give.
My locket burned at my throat. Fuck off, Mother.
She could have told me. She could have said something. If my father wasn’t shrouded in mystery, I wouldn’t have wanted to meet him so badly.
Burning rage flared through my bloodstream. I felt fire lick my palms once again. I wanted to throw so many fireballs at him. I wanted to hurt him the same way I was hurting. I wanted to take my locket and throw it away. I wanted nothing to do with either one of these people.
I swallowed hard and pulled up a brave smile instead. He wouldn’t have to know my disappointment, my anger, my sorrow. Even if he did, he probably wouldn’t care. “I wanted to meet you,” I said slowly, hoping my words didn’t reveal my sadness. “I wanted to let you know who I was. Who we are. I didn’t mean to disturb your life in any way. I didn’t come here for anything other than that.”
I hoped he would believe me. I wasn’t sure he would.
He nodded slowly. “Your mother has kept you hidden for most of your life, hasn’t she?”
I nodded once. “Yes, entirely. Like I said, she refused to even speak of you other than to tell us not to go after you. Not to seek you out.”
“There’s a reason for that, Ava,” he said, standing up quickly. “And I believe I owe you the truth, so allow me to speak it.” He moved his hand through the air as though testing something, then nodded once. “The wards are still in place. No-one can hear us.”
I glanced around at the room. “Who would be listening to us?” I asked. A shiver ran down my back. I tried to suppress it, but it ripped down my spine.
“Never mind that, please listen,” he said, speaking quickly. “I will only be able to say this once. I am very... grateful to know that you are alive and well, but I cannot claim you as my own.”
There it was, the knife I’d been waiting for.
My throat was tight as I forced the words out. “I don’t expect you to.”
Even Alison mentioned that it would risk my life. But was he doing this because he cared, or because this affected him in a different way? As a risk to his title? If he was born into his title, the Council couldn’t rem