I bit my lip, guilt cramping my gut. But now was not the time to clam up, nor hide. I was an adult, older than my mother had been when she’d had me. More than that, I was alive and free to make my own choices. She wasn’t here—not physically—to stop me anymore.
“I... need to meet him, Mother,” I told her. My voice was stronger than even I anticipated, but it gave me confidence. I pushed forward. She needed to hear this. I had bottled it inside of me for so long, it felt like popping a balloon and forcing all the air out of it. I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to. Which I didn’t. Maybe I used to, when I was younger. Hell, I probably would have stopped myself moments before she passed on. But not any longer. “You’ve always kept us away. Safe, but totally isolated. Hidden. You didn’t want anyone to know about us, and I get it, Mother. I do. I spoke with Alison and she told me everything. But even with that danger lurking around, I have to do this. I want to meet my father, and any other family you’ve hidden from us.”
I hadn’t meant to be petty. The words were out before I could stop them. Even I was surprised by how vicious they sounded, but I couldn’t take them back.
I held my breath, my heart hammering in my chest. I’d never stood up to my mother before. Never. She’d had absolute power over me as she’d spent our lifetime earning my love and respect.
But I couldn’t follow her way anymore.
You don’t understand, Ava. I did it all for your own good.
I sniffed as a tear rolled down my face. This was not how I expected myself to react. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be strong, the way Mother forced me to be when she was alive. Instead, I was a hot mess, crying on a bench, talking to myself.
“I know, Mother,” I said, nodding once. I created a human cell phone with my magic and held it to my ear, so that I could pretend I was talking to someone rather than make it obvious I was only talking to myself. Of course, my mother had never let us have our own cell phones, let alone owned a house phone. “I know. Alison told me about the danger to my life, so I made a promise vow never to reveal who I am.”
There was a long pause.
She made you promise?
“Yes.” I nodded, then realized she probably couldn’t see me. “She wouldn’t show me how to get into the realm if I didn’t promise to hide who I am.”
There was another pause.
She’s a good friend.
I practically rolled my eyes. A spark of resentment fluttered in my heart and I crossed my arms over my chest. How I longed for her to use such an approving voice with me, with anything I had done or accomplished.
But hearing that from her was rare.
It didn’t matter. I needed to focus on what was in front of me, what I had now. The truth of the matter was, Alison was a good friend.
I smiled as the truth settled around me. “Yes, she is.”
I leaned back against the park bench and glanced around, my eye catching on a couple that looked like two normal people. I narrowed my eyes. There was something off about them, though. But what?
And then I saw it. They had pointed ears and pointed teeth, chatting away in the sunlight like they had been friends for a long time. I wondered how old they were.
“Everyone is so different here, Mother,” I found myself saying. I didn’t want her to think I couldn’t handle this on my own. I didn’t want her to tell me to turn around—or worse, I didn’t want her to tell me that she told me so. But she was the only person I could talk to about this.
Yes, they are.
I halted. Had my mother actually agreed with me?
She sighed. If you are determined to meet your father, I will not try and talk you out of it. But you need to know, Ava, if the Council or Matlock’s wife find out who you are... they will kill you.
I glanced around, trying to buy time. No one seemed to even look my way, let alone think it was strange that I was talking to myself. This behaviour must be relatively normal compared to how it was in the human realm.
“I won’t tell them,” I said. “I already told you, Aunt Alison made me vow to it. I only want to know more about who I am.”
You know who you are, Ava. A generous, beautiful soul who I had the privilege to teach and love.
My eyes widened.
Why so surprised, daughter?
“Because that is the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” I replied.
Surely it is not. There’s no need to make me out to be cruel, Ava. I’m only trying to help you. That’s all I’ve done your entire life. I try to help you. Try to protect you. Perhaps I did not say it as much as I should have, but, truly, I love you.