Chapter One
Family. In the end, it all comes down to family. It was the only thing on my mind as we silently made our way to The Office’s safehouse. Melinda and Helix went off to separate rooms and Fin followed me into the one I’ve found myself in.
When he doesn’t say anything, I know he’s letting me process, letting me figure out how to react to this. How many times have I told him there shouldn’t be any more secrets between us? And yet, there was always one more. One more lie. One more revelation to knock me flat on my ass.
I stared up at him for a moment and then threw myself back onto the bed. My hair loosened around my head, and I absently capture some of the strands. The color has been fading for some time. When I was poor, I complained about the cost to maintain the color. Now that I had more money than I’ll ever need evil mages keep trying to fuck me up before I can actually make it to the salon.
No doubt unable to contain himself a moment longer Fin stepped up to the end of the bed, bumping it with his thighs. “What are you thinking? I can’t stand this silence. I’d rather you rage at me so at least we are talking about it.”
I released my hair and folded my hands across my stomach. “I’m tired,” is all I said.
And it’s so true I ached with the knowledge of it. When we started down this path, I was ready to give up everything to take down The Black Mage. Now, it was as if part of me realized I had so much more to lose. The loss of The Captain still felt like a hole in the gut that would never quite close right.
What if something happened to Hawk, or The Chief, Melinda, Helix...Fin?
I sat up, my torso protesting the fast movement, and held my arms open to him. He didn’t hesitate to step into my embrace, dragging my cheek tight into his chest.
“I’m so fucking angry at you,” I said, tears threatening to fall. “Just because I need you right now doesn’t mean I’m not going to kick you in the balls for this in the future.”
He snorted. “Noted.”
I continued. “But we’re going to fight all the time. For as long as we stay together, I’m sure there will be more things to fight over. I can’t bring myself to walk away just because I want to rip your head off right now.”
Did that make me weaker? The long-standing independent woman in me thought so. But the softer Zoey. The one who asked for help, and hugged her lover when she needed comfort, she didn’t think so. For a second, I let myself believe that Zoey and hugged Fin tighter.
When he clutched me equally as tight, I felt it, a sort of contented bliss drifted through me. It took me entirely too long to realize this was what he felt when he held me. When I let my guard down to him.
Damn it.
I reached up and tugged him by the shirt front to reach his mouth. He didn’t put up a fight. His lips brushed mine softly, but I needed more. I needed that solid point of connection our intimacy gave us. I pulled him harder, pressed my lips more firmly to his, until he finally relented and sat next to me on the bed.
As he sat, he clutched my hands and broke the kiss. “Are we really in any shape to do this now?”
I waved at my chest. “You can’t feel it, or whatever? Besides, you’re getting off another lie by omission without a fight right now...” I trailed off hoping he got my train of thought so I didn’t have to be the asshole who would leverage sex for relationship harmony.
When all he did was let out a long sigh, I knew we were definitely not about to get naked. I lay back on the bed and continued my observation of the ceiling. As far as ceilings went, it was a nice one. I hated the rough textured ones with the pattern. They always hurt the most to hit during a fight.
After a moment, he lay beside me. The tension rolling through him became too much for me to just sit through.
“If you want to talk, talk,” I prompted him. “But be advised I’m not going to sugar coat my thoughts now that you cock-blocked me.”
There was a pause, then he sighed long and loud. “What do you think about this whole thing?”
I rolled my eyes. That’s where we are going? “You mean the giant truth bomb that just revealed the man we’ve been trying to kill for the past couple of months is your brother? The man who killed your best friend, is your brother? Oh, how about the one who wanted to capture me to make creepy mage babies, oh yeah, still your freaking brother.”
There’s another long silence from him. So much so that I had to look over to ensure he hadn’t fallen asleep. Nope. He stared up at the same smooth white ceiling I had been staring at.
“I guess I deserved that,” he said after another second.
Yeah. He didn’t need me to confirm it. “At any point did you think, hey, let me tell this woman that we are setting out to kill a member of my family? Or did you intend to hide that tidbit until the very end, after I’ve shoved my knife into his gut?”
He flinched beside me, and I prayed it was over my sarcasm and he wasn’t about to go brotherly love on me. Because we would have a serious problem if that were the case.
Exhaustion crept up on me. I wasn’t even really into this argument anyway. All I wanted now was a hot shower, a sandwich, fresh clothes, and bed.
Fin could wait until the morning for his pity party confession. Let that be his punishment.
I nodded to myself at my decision, like a wierdo, like a tired, magically and mentally depleted wierdo, and levered off the bed to strip my dirty clothes off.
There were likely spare sets of things in the dressers, and I didn’t have the energy to worry about it. If necessary, I’d sleep naked. I trailed clothing all the way to the shower stall in the ensuite bathroom.
I flipped on the water and stepped under the spray the minute it felt mildly warm. But now, faced with washing my hair, my energy fizzled.
Fingers dug into the back of my scalp before I could shuffle back out of the shower and settle for a quick rinse. Fin stood behind me, naked, now wet, massaging water into my hair. I leaned into him as he grabbed a shampoo bottle off the top of the stall, and then worked it into my strands next.
“You’re only being nice to me because you feel guilty,” I grumbled, with my eyes squeezed tight while he rinsed.
“I can feel guilty and enjoy taking care of you. It might not have occurred to you, but you’re a hard woman to love, Zoey. So stand there, shut up, and let me do this.”
I sighed. And let him finish his work. It felt good to be taken care of, and not because he expected sex afterward.
When he finished my hair, he moved on to my body, lightly running a washcloth over every inch of my skin. When he met a bruise or a cut, he softened his touch, and then continued on. It was enough to make me melt into him further and further until the last of the soap swirled in the drain.
After he finished cleaning himself, well, sort of, because I didn’t move away from him for even an inch, he turned off the water and helped me out. Now wrapped in a fluffy white towel he led me to the bed and went in search of clothing.
I watched him walk to the dresser, my eyes on the firm round globes of his ass, as he rifled through the drawers.
A lazy smile split his lips when he returned with a pair of boxer briefs and a white t-shirt. “You’re tired,” he said.
Who was he trying to convince? As much as I wanted him, constantly, I wanted to lay back down and pass out even more. “You’re right. I know. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to look.”
He gave me another grin, opened his towel, and let it fall to the floor. “You can look all you want. I enjoy your eyes on me.”
Damn. Tired. Right. Sleep. I dragged my arms out of the towel and used it to fluffy dry my hair roughly. It would be a frizz ball tomorrow, but I’d deal with it then. I kept my eyes on him while I quickly dressed, noting his own gaze lingering on my bare skin as he did the same.
“Tired, remember?” I mocked.
He snorted. “You’re tired. I never said I was.”
I shook my head at him and settled back into the bed. He joined me a few seconds later and curled himself around my back. This felt right. Even after my hellish day and that whopping revelation, it felt right to have him wrapped around me like this.
His hand gently slid up the edge of my shirt and I held my breath for a second, anticipating what he would do. But then he eased his hand around my waist to hold me tighter.
I groaned out loud before I even realize the noise came out of me. It earned a soft laugh in my ear. “Go to sleep. Maybe if you haven’t taken my balls while I sleep then I’ll wake you up in the morning.”
I shifted enough to be able to turn my head to look at him. “Is that a promise or a threat?”
Instead of answering, he nipped my earlobe with his teeth at the same time his fingers inches up to my breast. I sighed, and he released me.
“Tease,” I said, half-heartedly.
“Sleep, Love, I’ll be here in the morning, and we can fight or fuck. Lady’s choice.”
Damn. This man already knew me so well.
“Both!” We said at the same time.
I snuggled back into his embrace, content to let sleep claim me, but my mind would not shut down. Helix and Melinda somehow at the forefront of my thoughts. If Esteban feared her magic so much, why didn’t he drain her dry and leave her for dead ages ago? Same for Fin. Could it be there was some kind of affection left for his remaining family members? The notion didn’t feel right, but my gut told me I should prod the idea further when my head wasn’t sleep clouded.
“I can feel you thinking,” Fin said after another minute of me considering this.
I rolled over in his arms again to meet his eyes. “Tell me about growing up with him. What was your relationship like?”
“You want to talk about Esteban now? Right now, right now?”
“Humor me, okay? I’ll go to sleep like a good girl in a moment.”
He grumbled something I couldn’t quite hear, but then answered my question. “Normal, I guess. We were considered fae royalty so there was already a separation when it came to us and the rest of my people. Esteban was never gracious about it either. From the moment he realized his power, and his position amongst our kind, he always wanted more. It was as if enough was never enough for him.”
That sounded about right from what I’d already learned about the bastard over the time we’d been hunting him. “How was his relationship with Sol—Melinda,” I corrected myself.
“The same. But, as we got older and grew into our strongest gifts, we began to drift apart as well. Fae, while prideful, and long-lived, are often loners, choosing only to stay alone or with their mates.”
“Has Esteban ever had a mate?”
His forehead scrunched up so cutely while he considered my question. “I don’t know. Not that I’ve seen in person, nor what any intelligence had told me, why, what are you thinking?”
“He’s an unusual amount of psycho, your brother, but he’s gotten extra psycho while we’ve been on the hunt. I thought it was just him getting tired of us fighting back instead of rolling over to take whatever he wanted to dish out. But, now, I’m wondering if there are other factors at play. Maybe he has a mate, or someone...and they died, or got injured, or hell, left his crazy ass when he went off the rails...”
I watched Fin’s face, trying to track what he thought. But then I remembered I didn’t need to study him I could just feel him and know how he felt. I opened that part of myself. We probably should keep that line open, but I hadn’t quite figured out how to unclench that protection so far.
Confusion. Worry. Anger. Hurt. All of it roiled inside him as he thought about his brother. I understood it all. Every part of him hated the fact that he’d have to kill Esteban, and yet, he had zero doubts it needed done. Esteban had become irredeemable in his eyes. I could relate to that notion.
“I...” Fin trailed off and thought so more.
I gave him the space he needed, even as I wanted him to lay out everything in words for me to hear too. Feeling things and understanding thoughts were entirely different concepts. Something I needed to remember.
I shifted in his arms after the silence continued to stretch, determined to stay awake.
“It’s possible,” was all he said, when he opened his mouth again. “But I don’t know anything about who it might be. Nor am I comfortable with using a person, if they do exist, as leverage.”
Despite his and my differences, I had little doubt, when it came down to ethics and morals Fin’s were higher than mine. This was just another little bit proof to his credit. If Esteban had a mate, or has a mate, or whatever, then I had zero qualms about finding this person and using them to hunt him down.
Maybe, if we got lucky, they’d want him dead too. Although, probably not, if they are connected in the same way Fin and I were.
I shook my head thinking and trying to formulate in my mind, despite sleep slowly closing over me.
When my eyes drifted closed, Fin turned me around and tucked me tight into his body again. “Sleep. We can think about it in the morning. It’s highly unlikely he’s going to come for us tonight.”
I sighed and relaxed, letting the feel of his breathing against my back to lull me to sleep.
But even as I started to drift, a nagging fear reared up in my mind. A clarion bell of a warning.
By the time I realized what it was, it was too late, I’d already succumbed to sleep.