He shook his head. “That’s not your choice. They already made theirs. To intervene now would mean disrupting the magic and probably killing all of us.”
Okay, Mr. Doom and Gloom. I glared at him while I tried to breathe through another wave of pain, that cut like a sword up the length of my spine from ass to ponytail.
I kept my eyes on them, watching, waiting for a gesture or any movement that might indicate Fin wanted to stop. My knees turned to jelly and I had to fall back on my ass to give myself more stability to get through the onslaught.
“How much longer?” I asked Helix.
“I don’t know. We couldn’t exactly practice this part. It will take as long as it takes.”
Him and his fucking pragmatism were starting to grate on me. “Says the man who doesn’t have to endure this.”
He cut me a glance. “Who says I can’t feel it? Just because you can’t see it on my face doesn’t mean I don’t. It’s excruciating. There’s no use dwelling since we can do nothing about it.”
Thank you, Captain Fucking Obvious. I rolled forward to keep from lying down on the ground and whimpering outright.
Each new wave of pain brought a fresh slice along with it, and a few minutes into the ritual I tasted the sharp tang of metal on my tongue. Like blood, but I didn’t bite myself, nor was either of them bleeding except on their entwined hands.
I didn’t trust what I saw, or Helix, standing there watching them like he didn’t feel like someone was trying to turn him inside out. Maybe he lied to fuck with me. That thought made me feel better. He felt nothing and lied to get under my skin.
On my hands and knees, I crawled toward the platform intent on making the pain stop. My brain had short circuited somewhere in the last sixty seconds and all I wanted was for it to end.
One hand in front of the other. One knee shifted forward on the hot floor. So hot under my palms it broke through the haze for a flash of a second. I slid my hand a little closer to the platform, and my legs followed. Nothing else entered my head except one little inch closer to making it end one way or the other.
An iron bar wrapped around my waist and lifted me clean off the floor. Helix’s arm held me hard, my back against his chest. I kicked and scratched, but it didn’t make a difference through his jacket sleeve, and he seemed unfazed by the impact of my feet against his shins.
I gripped his thumb and twisted hard enough that he released me with a sharp curse. Once my feet hit the floor I stumbled forward, trying to get to the platform. He grabbed me again, locking my hands behind my back, his hand around my throat.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Zoey. I’m not trying to, but you can’t interrupt or you could get them both killed,” he whispered in my ear.
I couldn’t form words; all that leaked out were whimpers.
“I know it hurts. Breathe through it. Focus on your breathing and count. It’ll help. Also try to keep your shields up. You might be able to block some of it if you push back against it.”
His words reached me through the pain, and I tried to follow his directions. I shoved back at the pain, corralling it toward Fin and Melinda. Incrementally, some of the searing fire eased, enough that I could think a little bit clearer.
“You can let go of my neck,” I said. “But keep hold of my hands. I don’t know if I can stay in control.”
His fingers eased off my neck, nothing but business in his touch. His other hand tightened around my wrists. Some of the fire slipped through the shield I tried to erect between it and me.
I gasped, losing my grip inch by inch.
“Hold it,” Helix said in my ear. “Don’t let it win.”
A whimper poured out again and I hated the sound. I especially hated when other people heard me make it. If he ever brought this moment up again after we walked out of this room, I’d maim him.
Another wash of fire and his hold tightened enough to bring a different kind of pain into the mix. I’d take the ache of his bruising grip over the slashes of fire any day, but my body or my mind had reached its limits. My magic surged up inside me .
Helix sucked in a sharp breath and released my hands with a shove. All I could feel was the sharp fire, bearing down on me, breaking me in a way I didn’t understand. Breaking me in a way I needed to protect myself from. I gathered the magic inside me, pooling it at my center, trying to use it to staunch the pain.
But my magic didn’t do anything against it.
I stumbled f
orward and crashed down on my knees, hitting the hard floor with a crack I felt vibrating in my bones.
A dull aching pain radiated up from where I’d fallen, doubling through the pain from the magic. I shoved my magic out of me, pushing it as far and as fast as I could, intent on stopping the assault on my nerve endings.
Helix cursed from behind me, taking a step forward, and grasped my ankle. I hadn’t even realized I’d almost crawled up onto the platform. He tugged me back, but I kicked out. He pulled harder. His strength overpowered my pain addled brain and he succeeded in ripping me away from the edge of the wood, my nails leaving scores on the edge.