The image of Sol sitting on a boulder, legs crossed under her, purple tulle pooling over the rock and moss below, popped into my head. Fin’s calm acceptance of all of this had been nagging on me, and I would not be able to review things until we cleared some of the air. Only his, of course.
“Before we do this.., I need to know why you’re taking things so well. Your sister makes a sending to me.., which for you viewers at home, means she has to be some kind of mage now...but it seems like you don’t even care.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat a few times, and then finally he raised his gaze to mine. “Because I don’t think my sister is the one who is contacting you.”
The words assimilated in my head and I dropped my feet to the floor and spun to face him. My heart burst to life, a burning ember, beating fast and furious against my ribs.
“If your sister isn’t the one tinkering around in my head, then who the hell do you think it is?” My voice had risen to a higher register.
“More importantly...”
I stood and gently sat the wine glass on his desk, away from the edge. Then I walked around, turned his chair to face me, and met his eyes.
“No, there is no more importantly. Who the fuck do you think is mucking around in my brain when I go to sleep?”
His eyes softened as he met mine and captured my hands, still clutching the arms of his chair. “Who else can assume someone else’s visage?”
I jerked away. “Esteban. The Black Mage.”
The words sunk in and I spun away as bile rose in my gut. The food I’d eaten, the wine I’d enjoyed, surged up, and I caught the trash can by his desk right on time. Everything came up, and I sunk to my knees to stabilize myself.
His cool hands met the back of my neck and he dug his fingers in and massaged gently. The wave of nausea dissipated. I closed my eyes and sunk all the way onto my ass.
Fin continued a slow roll of his fingers against the back of my neck and someone came and removed the trashcan from my grip.
It would seem the Black Mage kept finding new ways to brutalize me.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked, his face way too close to my ear.
I shivered and said, “Some water, please.”
He left, the warmth of his body behind mine going with him, and he returned with a glass of cool water. I downed it all and sat the empty glass on the floor.
I held out my hands, and he gently hauled me to my feet. A little voice in my head told me to apologize, not to lose this opportunity. But fuck no, I wouldn’t own a single bit of guilt here when it all belonged to Esteban.
Fin guided me to the chair and sat across from me this time. “I’m sorry for being so blunt about it. I’d assumed you’d come to a similar conclusion.”
Was he fucking kidding me?
I surged to my feet and spun away before I did something dumb like slap him or kiss him. The satisfaction of my teeth grinding against his in one glorious, angry fuck sounded like an excellent way to blow off some steam.
I shook away the thoughts and swallowed another wave of nausea. “Don’t you think I’d be trying to stop the dreams if I knew? I would have come to you. The only reason I didn’t stop them was because I thought they were Sol and I wanted to help you find her.”
/> He approached from behind and turned me around. “You can still do that. He would have to be able to see her, and the place that sets the scene. These can be clues. I can help you control the sending more, and maybe you can get more information from it.”
I shoved him away, letting my anger rise and invigorate me in a way I hadn’t been in a while. “No, that isn’t something you get to decide. I won’t be your bait again.”
A flash of something—pain, or anger—crossed his face. “I wasn’t proposing you be bait again. I’m only saying that you allowing the dreams to come through wasn’t a waste.”
“How do I stop them?”
“Are you sure you want to?”
I narrowed my eyes and stepped up to him, poking him in the chest while looking up into his face. “Tell me how the fuck to cut him off. Do you realize how long it’s been since I had a good night’s sleep?”
He held up his hands in surrender. “I’ll help anyway I can.”
His proximity messed with my head, and the way he smelled like ozone and bad decisions. I put distance between us and took a minute to compose myself. Once my heart rate settled down and I could speak without screeching at him, I met his eyes again.