Taking a deep breath, I turned to face him, forcing myself not to read anything into his actions. I narrowed my eyes. “Yes, Mr. Hawke. Isn’t this why I’m here? To work?”
“Melody… we both know that you won’t keep this crap up long. Soon, you’ll be beneath me, begging me to fuck you harder,” he smirked at me.
I gasped, rage started to boil inside me, “How can you talk to me like that? You think I’m a slut? You couldn’t get lower in my eyes,” I whispered.
This was the thing about me: when I was angry I would shout, but when I was enraged, I wouldn’t shout like all other people, I would whisper. Becca had said once this was so scary, like I was possessed by demonic souls that use my voice to whisper deadly threats.
His face changed –the smirk made way for a frown. He walked toward me as I took a step back. His expression was troubled again as he tried to explain, “No, Melody. You’re not a slut, I never thought you were. Just… you want me so much. We were good together… till you ruined it with that silly thing.”
I wasn’t sure if his strange explanation should have been taken as an apology, but it didn’t sound like it.
“I didn’t ask for marriage, having kids, settling down, Kellan. All I asked for was to know that I meant something to you. I just wanted a relationship with you… just wanted to see you try… hell, I would be happy to see you willing, even. But yeah, how silly was that!”
He frowned, “What do you mean? Like you would want to have a relationship with me even if it doesn’t end well? What is the point?”
His confusion diminished my anger… a little. His question was real, sincere, like a kid’s curiosity. For the first time I saw him in a different light, he was a small boy in a way… something inside him was missing, the part that understood love and relationships.
I took a tentative step toward him. “The point?”
“Yeah, what is the point if it will only hurt you in the end? What is the reason for all this?” he whispered.
“Maybe we don’t need any reason…” I whispered.
“What is the point?!” he groaned, frustrated that he couldn’t understand it.
“What was the point of you taking me to your house that night from the bar?” I asked.
“A fuck, pleasure…” he shrugged.
“This is the same –the pleasure of the relationship, calling you mine, making new memories together. That is the point. Isn’t it worth a shot? Taking chances?”
He looked at me, I could see the fight inside his gaze. To me, it was ridiculous, but he really didn’t know the meaning of relationships, a commitment, sharing that intimate connection. I waited for his response, hoping this conversation would change something between us…
It did… when he chuckled and shook his head, “No… I don’t think it is worth all the drama.”
I was staring outside, again, but this time without seeing. Why did I keep doing this to myself? Keep hoping, keep hurting? As we talked about relationships like that, for the first time, I hoped he was considering the idea. I thought he was communicating with me about his feelings. He showed me how naïve I was.
“Melody, Mr. Turner’s crew is here, they are waiting for Mr. Turner in the lobby,” I heard Stacey’s voice through the intercom.
After a simple “Thanks” to her I opened Kellan’s office door, catching him pacing in front of the window. He didn’t even notice me.
“Mr. Hawke, Mr. Turner is on his way,” I said and closed his door without waiting for a response. My voice was so cold even I couldn’t recognize it as my own.
As I walked toward the meeting room I noticed the floor was more crowded than usual, one of the conference rooms was packed with people from the finance department. Troy saw me the moment I noticed him. He waved his hand, walking toward me he left his colleagues in the room.
“Hey Melody. It’s good to see you.”
“Hi, thanks, you too. What are you guys doing here?”
“There is a problem in our conference room and the second one is occupied, so we thought to use this one,” he explained, looking at me with expectation like I should have told him something to continue the conversation, but I was out of time.
Nodding my head, “I need to go and see if everything’s ready for a meeting. I’ll see you around, okay?” I said and kept walking, not hearing his response.
“Brian, Emily… you’re here, great! Is everything ready?”
“Yes, Melody. We got this, don’t worry,” Emily said. She was a sweet girl, a new intern to the design team, but mostly helping us with meetings and everything else. I was so glad to have her around since I was mostly working on interior design projects, being an assistant fell from my priority. Kellan didn’t seem to mind… he didn’t seem to mind anything about me but fucking me.
I took a deep breath, shaking my head to clear my mind.