Lucas closes the door and walks over to his desk, shoving down into his leather chair. I turn in my chair to face him, feeling his dark gaze on the back of my neck. I can tell simply from the concerned look etched into his features that he has something he wants to say.
“What did I do now?” I bite the bullet and ask.
Lucas’s lips turn up on one side, making him appear youthful. “Who said you did anything? Do you have a guilty conscience, Aspen?”
I roll my eyes. “Of course not.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, why? Did someone say I did something? Or did something happen that I need to know about?” I try not to sound as concerned as I feel. I was finally calming down from his surprise appearance, and now he’s asking me questions that are leaving me paranoid.
The grin falls off Lucas’s face. “Nothing’s going on. I was just joking with you. I did want to talk to you about something, though…”
“Well…” I gesture to the space in front of us. “Go ahead.”
“I know we talked about it before, but I think you should talk to Dr. Lauren. You’ve been really jumpy lately, and not just today. I know you said you’d talk to her when you were ready, but I think it would be good for you. Give you a chance to talk about what happened.”
Internally, my mind is screaming, NO! The last thing I want to do is relive the worst moment of my life by retelling it. So even as I sit here wanting to scream the word at him, I simply say, “No.” Just like before, his brows draw together, and disappointment flickers in his eyes.
“Aspen, I don’t want to push you, but I think it would be good. Talking about what happened doesn’t make you weak.”
“I’ll talk to someone when I’m ready, and right now, I’m not ready,” I snap, and then force myself to take a calming breath. A few seconds pass, and I’m about to swallow my pride and apologize, but he interrupts the silence.
“I’m sorry. Normally, I don’t interfere in student lives, but I won’t lie… you’ve kind of grown on me, kid.”
“Grew like cancer?” I joke humorlessly.
“More like a weed,” Lucas quips, and I almost smile. “I’m worried about you.”
Throat tightening, I have to force the words out. “Don’t be. I’m okay. If I wasn’t… I’d let you know.”
“But would you really, Aspen?”
All I can do is shrug because I’m not sure what he wants for an answer. Tired of the focus being on my mental state and if I should talk to a doctor or not, I change the subject.
“I saw Quinton today,” I announce like I’m heading into war.
Like a disappointed father, he shakes his head. “You both need to stay away from each other. It’s for the best, even if you don’t believe it.”
“What’s for the best is to stop letting everyone else dictate our lives. We’re adults; let us make our own choices.”
“There’s no choice to be made, Aspen. He doesn’t want you, and you’re better off without him.”
The heat of embarrassment kisses my cheeks, and I twist back around in my seat. I stare down at my textbook and let my hair form a wall between us.
“I know it’s not what you want to hear, and I’m sorry, but you need to stay away from him.”
I don’t bother saying anything else. It’s not like my opinion matters, anyway. I’m nothing more than a chess piece in this world, the pawn on an endless board of moving parts when I should be the queen.
14
QUINTON
I’m no stranger to sitting in the dark. As a matter of fact, I prefer it. The silent night is my favorite time, letting my mind rest and my body calm. But normally, when I sit with the light turned off, there is still the time displayed on the microwave and the lonely green dot at the front of the TV. Even though those seem insignificant, they are enough to give the room some kind of shape in the darkness.
Ren’s door flies open, and the hinges swinging the heavy door seem louder than usual.
“What the fuck?” Ren’s sleepy voice booms through the room.
“The power went out, but the backup should take over any minute.” Seconds tick by, but instead of the light turning on, the silence surrounding us becomes starker. The ragged breaths from our lungs and the faint thumping of our heartbeats are the only remaining sounds.
The missing sounds make me realize quickly that the light isn’t our real problem. The power outage has turned off our air supply, and if the backup generator does not click on soon, the other students will notice if they haven’t already.
“Something is wrong.” Ren voices what I’m thinking.
“Yeah, the generator should have kicked in by now.” I fish my phone from my pocket and unlock the screen. The dim light is enough to make my eyes squint and eliminate most of the room. “No signal. So the towers are down as well. Most likely all of Corium, which is suspicious.”