I worry my bottom lip as we start for the lake. “Is it like that with all the territories in this realm?”
“Only the kraken. The rest haven’t had the same difficulties we have.”
Easy enough to read between the lines there. I don’t understand how humans and dragons were able to breed in the first place, but it obviously acted as more than a conduit for magic. With each generation without humans mixed in, the difficulties rose.
Guilt clamps around my throat, but I try to swallow past it. I am one person. I cannot solve the entirety of this territory’s problems.
You could solve some.
I shove the little voice away. I like Sol quite a bit. Possibly more than like. In another life, I would have bent over backward to give him anything he wanted, anything he needed. I’d like to think that I wouldn’t give him a child I had no intention of sticking around to raise, but I can’t say for certain. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and survival was my only rule for so long.
I can’t do this.
If this didn’t end in seven years…
But that thought hurts worse than the others. With what I’ve discovered about Azazel and the bargainer demons’ hold on the power supply in this realm, I can’t imagine he’ll let me stay past my end date.
More, for all that Sol seems to enjoy my company and my bed, he never signed on for a permanent human wife. The only reason we’re married at all is so any child—the true goal of this contract—will be legitimate. If his plan went to perfection, I would leave him with a child and a wide-open spot for some nice dragon person to fill. Not his ex—he mentioned that they are married to someone else now—but he fell in love enough to consider marriage before. Surely he will after I’m gone.
“Briar.” From Sol’s tone, this isn’t the first time he’s said my name.
“Sorry, I was just thinking.” I turn to the gorgeous scene in front of me. Maybe the lake will ease my worries.
Except there’s nothing to be worried about. There’s no gray area, no unknown outcome. The path is beneath our feet, and it only leads to one place. I just didn’t expect to dread the future deadline instead of welcome it.
“Do you swim?”
I blink up at Sol. “What?”
“Do you swim?” he repeats patiently. He’s always so damn patient. He never gets mad at me when I mentally wander and am not entirely focused on him. He simply tugs me back to the present if he needs my attention…or lets me wander if he doesn’t.
I look at the lake again. I’d only intended to walk along the pebble beach and get my feet wet. “I know how, but I’m not the strongest swimmer.” I haven’t had much cause for practice, even if the bathtub here is nearly large enough to count as a pool.
“You don’t have to join me, but do you mind if I do?” He rubs a hand over his head. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been up here, and it’s my usual method of working through challenging problems. I think better when I’m swimming.”
“Go ahead.” I watch with avid interest as he strips out of his pants and vest and walks into the water. I don’t know what I expect, but I’m strangely delighted to discover he swims similar to how a crocodile does, spearing through the water nose first in sinuous movements. It’s enthralling even as some deep prey instinct shivers in response.
I hug my knees to my chest and watch him as the sun climbs in the sky and the balmy air starts to feel sticky. I can spend hours and days and weeks worrying about the future…or I can enjoy the time I have now.
The future will come regardless of what I do.
The feeling in my chest feels a bit like sorrow and yet somehow more bittersweet. It’s not going away anytime soon. Maybe not ever. But Sol is right here, right now.
I push to my feet and start to undo my dress.
Chapter 21
Sol
The past month has been downright blissful. It’s so easy being around Briar that the mating frenzy would have passed entirely by this point if not for one single friction point that continues to rile me.
She’s holding herself back.
It’s nothing more than I expected, but she gives her body and her time so freely, I resent her withholding her heart. I know she’s worried about the future, about the past. Truthfully, I’m worried, too, albeit not for the same reasons. This woman has worked her way under my skin in a few short weeks.
She’s intelligent and has a charming tendency to blurt out whatever she’s thinking and then look mortified immediately afterward. She’s also so incredibly brave. Even after everything she’s gone through, she’s still striving toward the light. It leaves me in awe. She meets me halfway in the bedroom and then some, seeming to enjoy the possessive mating frenzy as much as I’ve begun to. She riles me up and then welcomes me with open arms.