Reckless of me, perhaps, but he’s never given me cause to regret it. Truthfully, he’s admitted that it turns him on just as much as it turns me on. Bedroom games. I never knew they could be so much fun.
Still, my reading has brought plenty of things to my attention about the land surrounding this place. “What about the predators in the forest around here?”
He gives what amounts to a toothy dragon smile. “I’m the most dangerous predator around.”
I laugh. “I believe it.” I sip my wine. “I would like to see some more of your territory, Sol.”
“Good.”
The next day dawns bright and clear as if Sol controlled the weather to create a perfect environment. I almost went with pants today, but Sol told me we weren’t going particularly far, and I like how he looks at me when I wear dresses.
He leads me out a different exit than last time, heading in the opposite direction from the holy spring. Now that I’m not dazed and almost in shock, I take in the forest we move through with interest. I’m hardly an outdoorsy person. These trees look like…trees. Large enough to defy belief, but I couldn’t begin to say if they’re different than the ones in my world. They must be. The food I’ve been eating is all vaguely familiar and yet strange at the same time, as if maybe the food I’m used to and the stuff here had a shared ancestor at some point but evolved in wildly different directions.
For his part, Sol walks beside me in comfortable silence. It’s always comfortable. He doesn’t feel the need to fill the space between us with words unless he has something to say. It took me nearly a week before I stopped jumping every time he shifted, certain he’d require my attention.
He seems happy just to be in my presence. It’s…nice. Especially since I feel the same way. I find spending time with him incredibly soothing—at least when we aren’t having sex. There’s nothing soothing about that.
“What are you laughing about over there?”
I trail my fingers down his arm and then lace them with his. “Just thinking that sex with you is anything but restful.”
He snorts. “I would hope not. The only time you’re tempted to sleep in the midst is when I’ve fucked you unconscious.”
“That was one time.” And not even truly unconscious. My body just stopped working, overloaded with pleasure and sensation. “And it wouldn’t have happened at all if I didn’t feel safe with you.”
His hand tightens around mine, the tiniest of flexes. “I don’t take that for granted, you know. That you feel safe with me.”
My chest gives a slightly horrifying flutter. I swallow hard. “I know.”
A month of peace isn’t enough to fully distance myself from nearly half my life spent afraid. I wish it was. I wish I could wave a magic wand and eliminate all my scars, but that’s not how life works. I can’t unlearn half a lifetime’s worth of habits in a single month, but I’m no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop with Sol.
I’m…happy.
Sol leads the way off the main path and up a narrower dirty trail that has me huffing and puffing. Strangely, I relish the effort. The air tastes different out here. I don’t know how to explain it. The keep is always kept cool and comfortable and feels slightly icy on my tongue. This is almost the exact opposite. The air is faintly humid with a weight I can feel against my skin. If it were much hotter, it would be irritating, but it’s pleasant in this moment.
We reach the crest of the hill, and Sol steps out of the way, revealing a paradise. The trees are spaced farther apart up here, their thick canopy parted to let the sun in uninterrupted. A meadow of white and blue and yellow flowers leads to a small lake that backs up against a higher cliff. It looks like something out of a painting.
“I spent a lot of time here as a child.” Sol lifts his head and closes his eyes as the sun paints his face.
We’ve talked about our childhoods a bit, but only in broad terms. We’re both only children, which I’ve found to be a bit of a sore spot for each of us in different ways. I’m sure there are plenty of people who have no siblings and were perfectly happy, but with my parents the way they were, it was an incredibly lonely childhood. From the comments Sol has made, I think his was the same. His parents loved him dearly, but they had many responsibilities that kept them busy.
“Why didn’t your parents have more children?”
He looks down at me. “They tried. There was a time when my people would have families with large numbers of children, but it hasn’t been that way in generations.”