“Paige? You seem lost in thought,” I heard Lynn say, pulling me back to our conversation.
With a neutral expression, I asked, “How is Lucas doing, besides traveling to Fiji?”
Lynn forced a smile, and I wasn’t sure if it was for her sake or mine.
“He’s doing really good. His career has taken off, which I think he’s happy about.”
Lucas was a CAD engineer and worked for a large construction company in Austin, which I thought was crazy since he had been the one to state that he wanted to live in Johnson City forever and not live in a big city. His plan had always been to work for his father’s construction company based out of Johnson City. William had started the business, then passed it down to Carl, Lucas’s father. Carl also owned a cattle ranch down the road from my father’s. Lucas and I had become friends in elementary school. Way back when, he and Milo were best friends, and me and Jen were. I still kept in touch with Jen. Not as often as I would like, but we always picked up right where we left off, like we’d spoken yesterday. I loved that about Jen.
“He’s been traveling a lot with Bianca. She likes to travel,” Lynn added.
Ouch. That hurt more than I wanted to admit.
He hadn’t been interested in traveling and seeing the world when I had wanted to.
Lynn must have seen the look on my face because she attempted to backpedal. “He hates it, though. Tells me all the time he can’t stand the constant vacations.”
“I’m happy he’s happy,” I said, hoping to ease the awkwardness. I truly was happy for him. Okay, that’s a lie. Maybe a small part of me somewhere deep in my heart felt hurt that Lucas traveled around the world with his current girlfriend. Maybe that part wasn’t small. It was big. Okay, it was huge, and it sucked. I decided I was not going to go down that path again, though, and pushed all thoughts of Lucas and Bianca out of my head.
I couldn’t help but notice Lynn’s expression fall. Her eyes filled with sadness, and a part of me wanted to ask her if everything was okay. Then I realized her father-in-law had just died. Of course, she wasn’t alright.
Lynn took my hands in hers. I couldn’t help but notice her cold hands, and I glanced down at them, attempting to rub away the chill. I missed my momma so much.
“Are you happy, Paige? With your life in Austin?”
With a nod, I replied, “Mmm-hmm.”
Ugh. That couldn’t have sounded any less pathetic.
I basically didn’t have a life, and I was tired. Tired of my desk job. Tired of my dull life. A part of me was ready to settle down, get married, and raise a family. I was knocking on thirty’s door. I lacked any sort of excitement in any area of my life. Maybe that was my problem. I needed to get out there, date. Go to the clubs when my friends asked me. It wasn’t surprising they’d stopped inviting me out. I turned them down ninety percent of the time.
Linda May pulled me out of my thoughts. “Has Lucas asked that model to marry him yet?”
Ah, yes. I could count on Linda May to bring my thoughts back to the happy couple. Bianca Howard. She was beautiful. She was rich. She was nothing like me. Lucas had been dating her for the last few years…how many exactly I didn’t know because I purposely tried not to keep up with his life.
Fine. That was another lie.
I had found out two years, six days, and a few odd hours ago that the man I thought I would marry someday had found himself the grand prize of a girlfriend.
Like I said, pathetic.
“No, but she was hoping for it on this last trip! I’m afraid William might have spoiled it for her with his passing. Lucas had to cut the trip short.”
I internally fist-bumped with William. He couldn’t stand Bianca and made it known each time I visited or talk to him on the phone that he wished Lucas and I would find our way back to one another. I had tried, once. When I moved back to Austin, I called Lucas. He hadn’t been dating anyone at the time, and we made plans to meet for dinner. But the bastard never showed. He stood me up, and I was pissed. When I sent him a text and asked if it had slipped his mind, he replied back, “I had a change of plans.”
Radio silence after that.
My body had pulsed with anger, and I’d vowed to hate Lucas Foster for the rest of my life. Of course, I could never actually hate him. He was my first love. My momma used to tell me that once you open your heart to love, no matter what happens, you always love that person. How could your heart honestly stop loving someone? I believed she was right. It isn’t like the feeling fades. It just gets packed away, out of sight and mind. If I wasn’t still in love with Lucas, why did hearing about him or thinking about him still hurt?