“Linda May, thank you so much for coming,” Lynn said, as sweet as apple pie.
They hugged, then Linda May looked my way. “Is that little Paige Miller?”
I nodded. No matter how old you were, when you came back to your small hometown in Texas, you were the same little girl who ran around in pigtails. I was still a fan of pigtails, don’t get me wrong; I just didn’t wear them out in public anymore. Okay, that was a lie, I did on occasion. When I had an extra pep in my step. I also wore them Friday nights when I changed into my PJs and crawled into bed at eight to watch the latest Netflix obsession. Yes, my life was that exciting.
“It is, indeed,” I said, giving Linda May a quick hug.
Almost all southern women were huggers. I still hadn’t figured that one out yet. There had to be a reason. My momma used to say it was because they wanted to see how much weight you’d gained since the last time they saw you. Or if the rumor about the breast lift was true or not. Regardless, hugging was mandatory as soon as you set foot in this town.
My heart pained as I thought of my momma. She had been gone for four years, and there wasn’t a day I didn’t miss her or wish I could pick up the phone and ask for a bit of advice.
“Four years,” I murmured.
Lynn looked at me with confusion. “Four years, what?”
I waved my hand in front of my face as if I was losing my mind. “I just remembered that’s how long it has been since I’ve seen Lucas. Four years. Momma’s funeral.”
Lynn tilted her head, as did Linda May. I got that pity look that southern women had perfected down to a freakin’ T. Some meant it, some didn’t. Currently, I was one for two. Lynn meant it, Linda May didn’t. She and my momma had hated each other.
“That’s right. I know he was so happy to see you. He often asks about you,” Lynn said.
I wanted to laugh. Lucas was anything but happy to see me, and I knew his pride wouldn’t allow him to inquire about me. He didn’t understand my desire to do something different, to see the world, and I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want the same things. Moving back to Johnson City was his idea of a dream, and yet my own dreams weren’t as valid. When I was younger, I thought about nothing but traveling the world.
And I did travel. I got a job with a large corporation straight out of college and traveled to Europe often. My minor in French came in handy. I’d had amazing opportunities, as well as experiences I would never forget. Regretting my decision never entered my mind, even though the result had been my broken heart. I’d hardly dated at all since Lucas. A few casual dates, one serious relationship which ended recently when I realized that Jeff was not the man I wanted to settle down and raise a family with. Everything had seemed…off lately. I needed a major change.
I had worked for that company for two years, traveling ninety percent of the time as an analyst, before my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I took another job in Austin to be closer to her and my father. She died shortly after I moved back to Texas. My daddy had been so lost without my momma. He was a rancher, fourth generation. Needless to say, my older brother Tom had been a huge help to daddy when our mother was sick. I loved the ranch, but running it was not my dream; it was Tom’s. He and his wife Kate were perfect together. Kate loved ranching and was right there alongside my brother when it came to helping Daddy run the ranch. I admired her for so many things. She was a mother to my beautiful niece Callie and nephew Tom Jr. She helped Tom do everything, from plowing fields to castrating a bull. Then she made it back home in time to whip up some fabulous dessert to bring to the PTA meeting that night. She had her shit together and kicked ass at life. That’s not jealousy at all; simply me recognizing one badass woman.
As much as my folks wished I had been in Texas more, I had enjoyed traveling the world with my job, and they supported me one-hundred percent. Once I got traveling out of my system, I found myself daydreaming about owning my own little flower shop in Johnson City. It had been a long-term goal, one I’d wanted to do after I got some experience in the business world—another thing Lucas refused to understand.
My mind drifted to the flower shops I’d visited in France. My mother loved flowers and had handed down her passion to me. The longer I worked in corporate America, the more I wanted a simpler life. The life that Lucas had once dreamed for us. The thought made my chest tighten with a dull ache that had never gone away since he’d walked away from me. I had been so angry with him. How could he make me choose? Why would he make me choose? Why didn’t he trust me? They were all questions I never got answered, and it still hurt as much today as it did back then.