7
Jenny
“What’s wrong with you?” Tulip asks me. “You’ve been moping around all day.”
I lay back on my bed, thinking about the way Ben talked to me down by the lake. I don’t understand what happened. We’d been so happy until that point. Was he just using me to have sex and then discarded me when he was tired of it? I never would’ve guessed that he would do something like that. I’ve known him all my life and he’s not that type. Or maybe what his ex did to him turned him into that type. Maybe she ruined the most perfect man I’ve ever known. I want to just strangle her. I’m madder at her in this moment than I am at him, I think. No, that’s not true. I’m mad at him as well. I’m just pissed about the whole thing.
I don’t even want to think about it. The thought hurts too much. I’m so hurt and mad right now I could scream. I try not to cry in front of Tulip and Annie. I don’t want them to know anything is wrong with me. There will be so many questions and I have no idea how to answer them. There would need to be excuses and lies and I’m far too exhausted to come up with anything believable.
“Nothing,” I say. “Just sad that this is our last week of summer. It went by too fast.”
“I feel like we’ve hardly seen you,” Annie says. “You’re always disappearing to be by yourself. We were supposed to meet cute guys over this vacation and get you laid finally.”
“It’s not too late,” Tulip says. “There’s still plenty of time for that. In fact, I think we should go tonight. I heard about a fun little club in town that doesn’t ask for IDs. And there are always lots of hot boys there. We should go.”
I play along because I don’t want to have to tell them I already lost my virginity. There will be too many questions that I’m not willing to answer. If I even bring up the subject, they’ll pounce on it like two lionesses on a gazelle.
“It’ll be so much fun,” Tulip says. “A summer to remember, and the best part is we don’t have to ever see these strangers again. It’s perfect, right?”
I nod in agreement, but none of it sounds perfect to me. I had perfect. I had Ben. Being with some younger guys just sounds like a chore. But then when I think about Ben and his harsh words to me, I start to feel bitter and wonder if meeting another guy is for the best. It will help me get my mind off Ben. Maybe I’ll actually meet someone who I won’t have to keep secret forever.
I lift my chin up in defiance. “Count me in,” I say.
“I don’t know,” Annie says hesitantly. “I’m supposed to watch the boys while our parents are on their fishing trip. Those little heathens can get into a lot of trouble.”
The boys used to be real trouble makers, but they’re older now and all they seem to care about are video games. Other than sitting outside on occasion, they haven’t left the cabin for much of anything.
“They’ll be fine,” Tulips says. “They’re old enough to take care of themselves.”
“Tulip’s right,” I add. “They’re not little kids anymore. They’ll be fine.”
Annie sighs. “Fine. But if I get in trouble I’m taking the two of you down with me.”
“All for one,” I say, quoting the Three Musketeers. That’s what our parents used to call us since the three of us have been inseparable since the day we met.
“And one for all,” Tulip finishes the saying.
Annie rolls her eyes.
* * *
We take an Uber into town. I’m wearing a short summer dress that hugs all the right places and sandals that show off my fresh pedicure. We find the club Tulip was talking about and we manage to get in without being carded. I’m sure we’re going to get kicked out when Tulip orders us a couple Long Island iced teas, but again they don’t even check to see our ID. The music is even good and I’m thinking I might actually be able to have a good time despite missing Ben. I just have to keep reminding myself about the way he snapped at me and it pulls me right out of those thoughts of longing.
I look around at all the people on the dancefloor. So many happy couples smiling into each other’s eyes and holding onto one another. They look happy and they’re having fun.
Ugh. I hate them all.
I’m not having a very good time at first but then as the music starts to play and the alcohol kicks in, Tulip and Annie drag me onto the dancefloor and it’s not so bad. There are a lot of cute guys and I’m getting plenty of attention. It’s a nice distraction, I guess. There’s a boy who seems to be paying quite a bit of attention to me. He singles me out in the crowd and heads straight for me.
He’s tall with frat boy good looks, but a bad boy side with all the tattoos covering his arms. When he smiles, it doesn’t reach his eyes. Not the way that Ben’s smile changes his whole face.
Damnit Jenny, stop comparing everyone else to Ben!Why can’t I get him out of my mind? That’s what I’m here for.
“What’s your name?” he says over the music.
“Jenny.”
“That’s a pretty name for a pretty girl.”
I want to roll my eyes. That’s so cheesy. Before Ben, I might’ve fallen for a line like that. Men don’t say shit like that. Boys do. And I’m so not interested in boys. This really sucks because he’s cute. If he could just say the right thing then maybe I could be interested in starting an actual conversation with him and get Ben off my mind, if only for a moment.
Tulip nudges me and Annie winks. They give me the thumbs up, like he’s the one. If nothing had happened with Ben, maybe he would have been the one. I shake the thought of Ben out of my head. Maybe this guy could still be the one. Not to take my virginity, obviously, but to be the distraction I need right now. I’ll give him one more chance to not be lame.
We start to dance together. He’s really good at it and he smells nice and has beautiful brown eyes. I’m really feeling the alcohol now and I’m having a good time until he starts to grind up against me. He grabs my ass and his hand moves lower, trying to grab other things too. I push him away, but he doesn’t take the hint and grabs me with both hands, holding me closer. He pinches my ass so hard it almost hurts.
This time I use all of my strength to push him away and glare at him so he knows I’m not trying to play hard to get.
“I’m done,” I say and run toward the back of the building before he can grab me again. I don’t know if Tulip and Annie saw what was happening, or if they’re following me. I don’t think they did because they had found their own guys to dance with last time I checked and they looked like they were having a blast. All I know is I have to get out of this place, and I don’t want to ruin their fun, so I don’t go looking for them.
I bust out of the back door into the empty alleyway and my tears start to fall. This is all so fucked up. This isn’t how the summer was supposed to be. No matter what I do, I can’t get Ben out of my head. He’s all I want despite how much he hurt me. I just wish he was here.
I look behind me when the back door to the club opens. I hope it’s Tulip and Annie so I can beg them to go home. But it isn’t them. Standing in front of me is the guy who’d groped me, and he doesn’t look happy. Judging by his pissed off expression, I have a feeling he doesn’t like taking no for an answer. Fear rolls through me, and my hands begin to shake when he steps toward me. I know if I run, I won’t get far before he catches up with me. These damn sandals I wore are made for looking cute, not escaping a potential predator.
He backs me into the wall of the building next to the club. When he reaches for me and grabs my arms, I scream.