‘Listen, Kim. I don’t like it in here. I don’t want to stay.’
‘Just give it five minutes,’ she pleaded. ‘It’s really good.’
‘OK, five minutes,’ I said.
At that moment she saw someone she knew. She waved at him and he started to come over. He was more our age and I relaxed a little.
‘Hey, Andrew,’ she greeted and threw herself at him. He kissed her on both cheeks and then looked at me. ‘And who have you got here?’
‘This is Snow. Are you going to buy us a drink?’
‘Of course. What are you girls drinking?’
‘A double gin and tonic,’ Kim said.
‘Orange juice,’ I said reluctantly. I really wanted to leave, but I felt too frightened to find my own way back to the hostel so late at night. I knew I had too little money to take a taxi back. Back home I would have been driven to the club and the driver would be waiting outside to pick me up.
The drinks appeared on the bar next to Kim; she took them and passed mine to me. As I sipped my drink, Kim and Andrew carried on talking about people I didn’t know. I was starting to feel really, really tired. In fact, I was getting so tired that I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
‘Can we go home, Kim?’ I asked.
‘What’s the matter with you?’ Kim queried, a frown on her forehead. ‘Are you all right?’
‘No, I feel dizzy. Maybe I’m jetlagged, and with the alcohol …’ I mumbled.
I felt as if I had no legs. Nothing to hold me up. As if my head was free-floating. In fact, my whole body seemed to be ‘gone.’
I tried to widen my eyes and focus on Kim, but it felt as if I was detached from my body and physical surroundings. It was like being in a dream or a nightmare. Everything is fluid and strange. You move differently. I saw her grab my arm without really feeling anything. Neither fear or panic. There was no emotion at all. I felt Andrew and Kim grab my body and start helping me out of the club.
I couldn’t walk.
‘She just needs a bit of fresh air,’ she told the bouncers. I could feel my legs hitting the concrete steps, but I felt no pain.
‘You all right, love?’ the bouncer asked.
I wanted to tell him that I had not drunk a lot, but the effort was too much. But even then I did not panic. If only I had made a real effort to tell him, everything would have been different. I was watching with great detachment as Andrew and Kim walked me down the sidewalk. We came to a car. Andrew opened it and together they put me inside. Both of them got into the front.
I remember dry heaving.
‘Is she all right?’ Andrew said.
Kim turned to me. ‘Don’t worry. We’ll take care of you,’ she said, but her voice was echoing.
When she turned and talked with Andrew, their voices felt like they were coming from very far away or from underwater. Then I blacked out. When I came to again, Andrew was pulling me out of the car and carrying me. The sidewalk was wet. I felt the drizzle fall on my face. I tried to talk. I wanted to know where Kim was, but I could not open my mouth. I had no control of any part of my body. I felt a shaft of fear then. It crawled into my head on all fours.
‘Don’t try to talk. It’s OK. Everything is going to be OK,’ he whispered.
But I remember thinking that he looked nervous.
Then I blacked out again.
When I came around, I still couldn’t move a single muscle and I was in that dreadful hotel room.
Twenty-three
SHANE
I wake up suddenly with a jerk and freeze. Moonlight is filtering in through the curtains. Everything is still .... and wrong. Immediately I turn my head and look to the pillow beside me. It is empty. I jack-knife to a sitting position and listen. There is an intermittent scratching noise coming from the bathroom. I leap out of bed and rush towards the sound. There is no light coming from under the door. I rap on it. The scratching stops, but there is no answer.