Drake enjoyed taking care of her. In fact, he seemed to delight in it. It—she—mattered to him, and he took what he called his “job” very seriously. She wondered if he had never had anyone who truly cared about him and if that was why he seemed so determined to give her something that maybe he himself had lacked.
It only made her all the more determined not only to accept him unconditionally but also to do everything in her power to take care of and protect him. Maybe no one in his past had ever ensured that he was happy and cared for, but she’d be damned if she was going to be like those people. Drake would know without a doubt that there was at least one person who cared deeply enough about him to always ensure his happiness and comfort. And if she could do all those things by simply pleasing him and following his rules, then she would do so with no hesitation, no more questioning herself.
“Drake,” she said hesitantly.
He turned as if sensing the seriousness in her tone.
“I am sorry,” she said softly. “For today. Earlier. I was a bitch and as I said, you didn’t deserve that from me. I’m ashamed of the way I acted, and I did so without thought and that hurt you. I feel terrible about it. Can you forgive me? I will try very hard never to give you any cause to be unhappy with me again. I want to please you. It’s important to me. More important than you even know.”
His expression relaxed and he walked over after flipping the steaks and wrapped his arms around her.
“You are not a bitch, Angel. Far from it. And I think we should both just agree to forget all about today and move on. But baby, I want a promise from you. You are to never let me punish you or even put you in a situation where you are hurting or feel any discomfort. You should have told me the minute your accident happened, and if not then, you most assuredly should have told me before I put a crop to your ass. Thank God I figured it out before I doled out your punishment, because I would have never forgiven myself for causing you unnecessary pain.”
There was genuine self-derision in his tone and remorse. Her heart softened to the point of melting because he seemed so horrified that he could have caused her further pain.
“And I can’t tell you how much it means to me for you to so sweetly and genuinely tell me that you care. That you want to please me and that it’s important to you. I’ve never had that,” he admitted, looking immediately chagrined that he’d imparted something he considered deeply personal. But it only reinforced what she’d already figured out.
“I want you to know that pleasing you is every bit as important to me as pleasing me is important to you. I want you to be happy. I want you to shine. For me. Only, always, for me.”
She relaxed and kissed him and then drew away, a teasing grin on her face.
“So no punishment for me tonight, then?” she asked lightly.
He returned to the stove and picked up one corner of a steak, holding it up for her inspection.
“Just a minute or two longer,” she advised.
Then he regarded her somberly.
“No, Angel. I think it’s safe to say you’ve already had a little too much excitement for one day. I have never considered myself a patient man, but I’m finding lately that when the reward is great, I’m willing to temper myself. Just know that now that you better understand the parameters and limits I’ve set for you, I won’t be as forgiving in the future, and disobedience will be punished. But I will never take it too far, and I would cut off my right arm before ever intentionally hurting you.”
Her body went all tingly as a mixture of disappointment and curiosity curled in her stomach. She realized in that moment that she didn’t fear Drake hurting her. Physically. He was too disciplined and restrained in all things. The physical part of her fantasized about what his punishment would feel like and if she’d revel in the burn as she had the night he’d spanked her those few times with his hand. The emotional part of her couldn’t bear to ever disappoint Drake again in such a way as to warrant punishment. His approval, she realized, meant a great deal.
“What if I wanted you to use the crop on me?” she asked huskily before she could temper her words. “Not in punishment. Is that something that would please you, Drake? Because I fantasize about it and I think . . .”
“What do you think, Angel?”
“That it would please me very much,” she admitted.