And to a point, I do.
But it’s obvious now that agenda was the same pathetic attempt to liberate myself from his hold. And all of that hope disappears the longer he glares at me, the more I become swept up in his volatile depths. He taught me everything I know. And together, he and his brothers taught me love in every degree.
But this man hosts the hottest fire.
I’ll love him my whole life, and I’ll despise him too for what he took away, for the way he discarded me, shunned me, cast me out. And I allowed it because of the price he paid, but I’ve been paying too, and it’s time he knows it. I turn and face him fully.
“I loved him.”
He drops his gaze. “I know.”
“But not the way I loved you.”
His eyes snap to mine. I know it’s not the time, but I have no idea if I’ll ever get the chance again. I never told him, not once, but I’m now in the business of truth. I have absolutely nothing left to lose.
“And whether that matters or not, I deserve to grieve him. And I deserve answers from you.”
“I don’t want you here.”
“Have you ever?”
He averts his gaze, and I catch his eyes. “How about we blame the fucking secrets. Because those seem to have done the most damage.”
He turns on his wingtips and crashes through the gate, and I follow hot on his heels. “You denied me all of it! All of it! I deserve this damn conversation, Tobias! And I’m not leav—”
He closes the door to his newer model Jaguar, and in seconds he’s tearing out of the parking lot. I race after him, scrambling to start my Audi. When I gun it out of the parking lot, I swear I feel the presence of a cool dark cloud envelop me. Tobias shoots down the road, trying to outrun the past, our mistakes, me, and I stay on his tail before I gun past him over double yellow lines, and my lips lift in victory.
“Should have bought an Audi,” I snark, speeding well past his view and gaining good ground. Banking on him following on the straightaway, I go wide, giving myself great lengths before I slow bank on the shoulder and pull the emergency brake, correcting the wheel, so we’re head to head. In seconds he’s racing into view and slams on his brakes coming feet from killing us both. He gapes at me through the windshield, his eyes wide with surprise.
“Like that? Little brother taught me that hat trick. Your move.”
He glares at me for another second before pulling onto the shoulder and flying out of his car. The minute I’m out of my door, his hands shoot out, and he grips my upper arm, anger rolling off of him. “Are you out of your fucking mind? You could have killed us both!”
“Well then, I’d guess I’d be putting us both out of our misery,” I retort.
“Whatever you’re thinking about, forget it.” He’s so close that I can feel the fabric of his jacket. His smell invades my nose, and nostalgia hits like a lightning bolt, but I remain defiant.
“I can’t forget it.”
“You need to go back to your life.”
“Just talk to me, that’s all I want.”
“I’m going to say this once. That was then. There is no now.”
He releases me as if touching me burns him.
“You’re still the same smug, obnoxious, overbearing bastard you always were.”
“No,” his tone is acidic. “I’m m
uch worse, and I always get my way. You might remember a lot, but you seem to have forgotten that.”
He turns on his Italian leathers and walks back toward his car.
“You lured me here with that offer. You knew I would eventually want to rid myself of the burden when you didn’t make good on taking it from him. Why didn’t you go after him?”
He pauses his walk and turns to me. “What does it matter? It’s mine now.”