Her throat tightened, and suddenly she was on the verge of tears again.
And now he was gone.
And she knew that she would never see him again.
Somewhere in the house a clock struck two, and she felt suddenly so tired and drained that standing was no longer an option. There were several sofas in the living room, but she knew that if she sat down she would never get up again, and lying on a sofa in a party dress seemed like the worst kind of defeat. If she was going to sleep, she was going to do it in a bed.
Slipping off her shoes, she walked wearily upstairs. There was no shortage of bedrooms—she counted at least seven—but as she opened one door after another she began to feel like Goldilocks. Each room was beautiful, but the beds were all too huge, too empty for just her on her own.
Except that she wasn’t on her own, she thought defiantly, stroking the curve of her stomach with her hand. Nor was she going to lie there worrying about the future. Her mother had more or less brought her up on her own and, unlike her mother, she was financially independent. So, with or without Ram, she was going to survive this and flourish.
Getting undressed seemed like too much of an effort, though, and, stifling a yawn, she crawled onto the next bed and slid beneath the duvet.
* * *
She didn’t remember falling asleep, but when she opened her eyes she felt sure that she must have dozed off only for a couple of minutes. But one glance at the clock on the bedside table told her that she had been asleep for two hours.
Her skin felt tight from all the crying, and her head was pounding—probably from all the crying too. Feeling a sudden terrible thirst, she sat up and wriggled out from under the duvet.
The house was silent and still, but she had left some of the lights on during her search for a bedroom. Squinting against the brightness, she made her way towards the stairs. It was dark in the living room, but her head was still so muddied with sleep that it was only as she began to grope for a light switch that she remembered she had also left the lights on downstairs.
So why were they off now?
In the time it took for her heart to start beating again she had already imagined several nightmare crazed intruder scenarios—and then something, or someone, moved in the darkness and her whole body seemed to turn to lead.
‘It’s okay...it’s just me.’
A lamp flared in the corner of the room, but she didn’t need it to know that it was Ram sitting in one of the armchairs. She would recognise that voice anywhere—even in darkness. And even had he lost his voice she would still have known him, for she had traced the pure, straight line of his jaw with her fingers. Touched those firm, curving lips with her mouth.
She felt a sudden sharp stab of desire, remembering the way his body had moved against hers. Remembering too how much she’d loved him. How much she still loved him. But with loving came feelings, and she wasn’t going to let herself feel anything for this man anymore, or give him yet another chance to hurt her.
‘How did you get in?’ she asked stiffly.
‘I have a spare key.’
Her heart began to race with anger, for his words had reminded her of the promise he’d made only a few hours ago. Not to love her and his child, but to take care of them financially, provide a fitting house and lifestyle.
Glancing round, she spotted the keys he’d left behind earlier, and with hands that shook slightly she picked them up.
‘Here, you can have these too.’ She tossed them to him. ‘Since I’m not planning on staying here I won’t be needing them. In fact...’ She paused, tugging at the ring on her finger. ‘I won’t be needing this either.’
‘Nola, please—don’t do that.’ He struggled to his feet, his mouth twisting.
‘Don’t do what, Ramsay?’ She stared at him, a cloud of disbelief and anger swirling inside her. ‘Why are you even h
ere? I told you I never wanted to see you again.’
‘I know. But you also said that ignoring this wasn’t the solution.’
His voice was hoarse, not at all like his usual smooth drawl, but she was too strung out to notice the difference.
‘Well, I was wrong. Like I was wrong to give you a chance. And wrong to think that you’d changed, that you could change.’ Meeting his gaze, she said quickly, ‘I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’m not about to repeat them by wasting any more of my time on you, so I’d like you to leave now.’
He sucked in a breath, but didn’t move. ‘I can’t do that. I know you’re angry, but I’m not leaving until you’ve listened to me.’
Her eyes widened, the pulse jerking in her throat. She didn’t want to listen to anything he had to say, but she could tell by the set of his shoulders that he had meant what he said. He was just going to stand there and wait—stand there and wait for her to grow tired of fighting him and give in. Just as she always did, she thought angrily.
Blood was beating in her ears.