She was nosy, this one. “It’s close to my boyfriend’s house,” I replied. “It looks better than the last building.”
She blinked, as if my quick shutdown had shocked her. “Yes. It’s very new—less than a year old. High specifications throughout, and the owner of the building is more than happy for you to decorate throughout, as long as it’s returned to the white walls before you leave at the end of the tenancy.”
“Good to know.”
We stepped into the elevator and she hit the button for the fourth floor. “It’s on the fourth floor with a lovely view out over the park,” she went on, still giving me her sales pitch. “Two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a large open-plan kitchen and living area. There are large windows in the living room and main bedroom providing a lot of natural light to the apartment…”
I trailed off as she carried on. It was quite remarkable how much she could talk, but I’d withhold my judgment until I’d been inside.
She’d told me the last place was clean, after all.
I quietly blew out a long breath as she guided me down a hallway. It was definitely looking clean and a lot better than the last one.
She stopped at apartment 4C and put the key in the door. “Come on in.”
I stepped into an apartment that was exactly as she’d described. Sleek, white, glossy cupboards took up one half of the room as the kitchen, with gorgeous black counters and a breakfast bar that jutted out with enough room for three stools. To the other side of me was a wall made of windows, letting the sunlight come streaming into the apartment. It glinted off the dark gray laminate floors, and I looked around appreciatively.
“Very nice,” I said. “Can I see the bedrooms?”
“Sure can. Come on through.” Dana showed me down a small hallway that lead to the bedrooms and the bathroom.
The master bedroom had a small walk-in closet and was right next to the bright white bathroom that had the most beautiful corner bath I’d ever seen. The second bedroom was a good enough size, too—perfect for an office-slash-guest room.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with the apartment.
Yet, somehow, I still wasn’t sold. Maybe it was all the white. I didn’t know, but even though I could see myself living here, I wasn’t excited about it. It probably didn’t help that I didn’t have any of my old furniture.
I couldn’t picture my stuff in this space, because I didn’t have any.
Still, I didn’t tell Dana any of that. I gave the appropriate compliments and, when we’d reached the bottom of the building, I told her I’d let her know if I was going to apply for it.
With a sigh, I got in my car and headed back to the store to work the rest of my shift.
***
“They can’t all have been bad.” Noah handed me a glass of wine across the island.
We were standing in his kitchen, both of us fresh from work, and I was offloading about my morning of apartment-hunting while he was a good boyfriend who listened and fed me wine.
“They weren’t. That’s the thing!” I held out my hands and the wine sloshed in my glass. “The last apartment was gorgeous. It was a blank slate and fully up to date with modernization. I’m not even sure anyone’s lived there before. Plus I could pay extra for a pet deposit so that Poosh could come if you stayed over or had to work extra overtime.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“It was cold!”
His lips quirked to the side. “That’s what a little thing called the heating is for.”
I took a big mouthful of wine and swilled it before I swallowed. “No. I mean it’s cold. There was no life there. I couldn’t picture any furniture there, and I realized it’s because I don’t have any!”
His smile turned sympathetic. “You can buy some of your old stuff again. You found your sofa and your bed on Ikea, plus your dresser and some other stuff.”
I slumped onto one of the stools. “I know. But it’s not mine. The bed won’t have a scratch on the side and the sofa won’t be a little lumpy in the corner. This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”
Noah walked around and wrapped me in his arms, holding me against his chest. I turned my head and hugged him back around the waist, letting a deep breath sigh out of me.
I didn’t just want any apartment.
I wanted my apartment. But I couldn’t have it, because rumor had it that the building wouldn’t be rebuilt. And even if it were built again, it wouldn’t be the same.
I was being a huge whiny baby about this, and it was a classic case of first world problems, but I wanted my own space again.