My anxiety’s at fever pitch by the time we get to my front door, which Slade opens as if it’s his to open.
The living room is packed with faces, all looking like they’ve been waiting.
I figure someone must’ve died, or worse by the look on everyone’s face.
But when they all see me and Slade together, so close and with that whole ‘yeah we did it and now we’re a couple’ vibe just pouring off us, it feels like the room gets ten times lighter not heavier.
Like everyone in the room has a secret that they don’t feel so bad about all of a sudden.
“Mom? What’s going on?” I ask.
Noticing she looks guiltiest of all and is she holding hands with some guy?
Who is this guy?
Brad I know, and Tasha yeah. Mom’s a given. Plus me and Slade…
“Honey. Sit down will ya, we need to talk,” Mom says, shifting uneasily in her seat, barely glancing at Slade who feels like he’s taking up half the house let alone half the living room with so many other people in it.
“This is Rex. Rex is…Brad’s father,” she reveals, creasing her mouth at one side as she squeezes his hand, looking at him in a way I recognize.
The same way I know I look at Slade.
“Good grief,” I hear Slade exclaim, his head turning away as if it’s too much for even him to take in.
“Hi, Abby,” Rex says politely. Opening his mouth to speak after getting the okay signal from my mom.
He’s an older guy. Kinda short. Balding. Nothing like Brad, but I figure Brad might have his mom’s genes instead.
“Abby. Your mom and I… Well, Abby, your mom hasn’t been working extra shifts at the cannery,” Rex says point-blank, flushing with what looks like pride more than embarrassment.
“I’m the foreman down there and well, you’re mom and I kinda hit it off,” he says, smiling over at her and they both have a little moment between themselves.
The room spins, and everyone sounds far away for a second like they’re talking in a tunnel or something.
But Slade’s hand in mine brings me back to reality, and I use Rex’s little speech as an in for our own announcement.
“Well, that’s great, Rex. Mom,” I say firmly, taking a deep breath. “Because Slade and I—”
The sound of my mom hitting the floor face first in a dead faint stops me.
Rex rushes to her side, alerting us all to the fact that he’s trained in first aid.
Mom groans, semi-conscious already, reminding us of the fact we have hardwood flooring.
Slade sighs and Tasha tries to give me an angry look, but it softens when Brad puts his arm around her.
“It’s alright everybody!” Rex says loudly. “Just all stand back, give her plenty of room.”
Mom eventually gets up, sits back in her seat and composes herself as best she can.
Slade takes the only free seat in the room so as to not look so frightening looming over everyone else while he talks.
“Lemme get this straight,” he says, everyone’s eyes and ears on him as his firm, commanding voice fills the room.
“Brad. You and my daughter. Even after I warned you off her?” he starts.
Brad actually stands up, his hands right by his side as if he’s getting grilled by his football coach.
“Yes sir. I love her, sir and I’m sorry if I broke your rules… Sir,” he says, eyes front not even daring to look Slade in the eye, who takes a breath.
Well, maybe it was Brad’s first time too and it’s certainly made him less of an asshole.
“And you, Rex. You and Abby's mom have been… getting to know each other for a while now?” he asks in a gentler tone.
Mom can’t look me in the eye but they both nod eagerly as Slade pieces together the puzzle.
“Well this is just fine,” he says, sucking air between his teeth. “And here we were, worried what everyone else would think when we came home and told everyone we are a couple too.”
Slade pauses, leaning forward, ready to catch my mom when she sways again, but she’s good.
We’re all good.
Apart from a mild case of extreme awkwardness, my mom and best friend unable to look me straight in the eye, for now, I’d say we’re all good.
“Is there anyone I missed?” Slade asks, letting his wry smile spread wider.
But I think he’s pretty much covered all the bases.
I think.
Rex raises a pointed finger, adding his own little extra in a meek voice.
“My uh wife. Brad’s mom… She’s been having an affair with the pastor for about a year now. That’s why we just decided to come out with it…”
There’s a long and deafening silence. Nobody seems to want to dare to even speak.
As if there’s much more to say.
“I’m getting a tattoo. A jaybird,” I announce, and the room groans, with my mom’s eyes meeting mine before they settle on Slade.