Need and something else I didn’t want to recognize tumbled through my body, a flare in my spirit that lit.
“I told you I’d never forget that night. I meant it. But now . . . now I’m going to walk away and pretend it didn’t happen, and I’m going to trust you to take care of my son.”
11
Hope
“You’ve got to be shittin’ me.”
I glanced over the back of the couch and toward the hallway to make sure the coast was clear before I turned back to Jenna, who waited impatiently, legs crisscrossed under her and hugging a frilly throw pillow to her chest. She looked seconds away from pressing her face to it and releasing a frustrated scream.
Or maybe that was what I was imagining.
Because it was the truth. I wanted to scream.
Or maybe cry.
I wasn’t sure.
So, I opted to clutch my wine glass in my hands.
Maybe it wasn’t healthy, but tonight, it was my lifeline.
“Do you really think I’d joke around about something like that?”
“You’d better not. Good God almighty, Harley Hope. He’s a doctor. I should’ve seen it all along.” She fanned herself.
My eyes narrowed, my voice dropping to an incredulous whisper. “Why are you acting like this is a good thing?”
Hers widened, her brows disappearing behind her bangs. “Um . . . have we not established that man is nothin’ but straight deliciousness? He’s sex on a stick and should be licked up and down. I’d eat that boy with a spoon. Hell, you could name a cupcake after him and put one of those little stakes in it with a picture of his face. Bam. Bestseller. And he’s a doctor. Honestly, the only thing I’m seein’ here are the positives.”
“He’s Evan’s doctor.”
She shrugged. “So.”
“So I’m going to have to see him for basically all of forever.”
It was hard enough to resist him when he kept coming into my store.
Seeing him care for my son?
Those puddles he’d left me in during our date had up and boiled at the sight, leaving me a shaking, quivering mess of awe and desire. I’d sat there watching him from behind, my stomach clenching in need and my heart doing wild, wild things.
My subconscious had been quick to offer up all kinds of excuses to convince my mind why seeing him again would be just fine. A whisper that urged me to reach out, caress his striking face, to run my fingertips across that magnificent jaw.
And maybe, just maybe, it would be okay to reach out to touch on the beauty of his kind, genuine heart.
Shivers raced my spine.
That was definitely going to cause all kinds of problems I wasn’t sure I knew how to deal with.
“You don’t see the complication?” I asked.
She huffed. “You and your complications. What it seems to me is convenient. One-stop shopping. You are the one who’s always sayin’ she doesn’t have time.”
“This isn’t about having time, Jenna. You know that. This is about Dane.”
“Who you need to stop letting control you.”
“I’m not letting Dane control me. I’m trying to protect my son.”
“That’s it? You’re not going to see Kale anymore?”
I gave her a resolute nod that made a rush of sadness billow through my spirit.
Someday.
But as of right then, I had to make the sacrifice. This wasn’t about me, and I had to put my son first.
“That means you wouldn’t mind if I went for him then?” Jenna tossed out, sipping her wine as if I shouldn’t reach out and smack her just for suggesting it. “You know, I wouldn’t mind a little of that royal treatment.”
She waggled her brows. Goading me.
God, I never should have told her that. I was never gonna hear the end of it.
“You’re disgusting and crass and no longer my best friend,” I told her as petulantly as I could.
She laughed, set her glass down, and then scrambled across the couch, hugging me to her side. “You know you love me. Just like you know I love you. Which is why I want you to take care of you, too. You give and you give and you give, and you never know when that giving is finally going to bleed you dry.”
Tears pricked at my eyes, and I rested my head on her shoulder. “Evan is enough for me, Jenna.”
The only thing I needed, at least for a little while. Until life sorted itself out. Until we were free, and we could move on and leave the ugliness behind.
All I wanted was a safe, secure home for my son. That was what I’d strived for all along. I was determined to give it to him. The rest would fill itself in. I had faith that it would.
Jenna ran her fingers through my hair. “I know. I just want you to promise me you will remember that it’s okay to love, too, especially if you’re doing it because you want to instead of because you have to. You deserve it.”