I nod and leave. There’s little Sailor can say that will fix this. It was bound to happen sooner than later—Chanel needed to find out who we are and what we are into. When I climb into the car, she has her body turned away from mine and is looking out the window.
“Chanel…”
I hear her tsks before she glares at me, and even me, a mafia man through and through, pulls back a little.
“Did you lie to me a lot when we were together? Is that why we didn’t last?” Chanel asks. “Or was it because I killed your father?” she spits. “How could you be around me after I did that? What type of person was I? Not one I recognize, that’s for sure.”
“I’m not mad or even sad you killed him. You had a good reason for what you did.” And I mean those words. I know I had a moment where I was pissed about it, but that feeling didn’t last long.
“You sound delusional. How could you sit there and help me after that?” She takes a deep breath. “And… you’re in the mafia. Shouldn’t I be dead for killing one of yours?”
“My father was no longer in our ranks. And as for my father, he took you, and as far as I’m concerned, he got what he got… he deserved it!”
“He took me?” she asks.
“He was one of your clients,” I tell her truthfully. “He had a fixation with you. Which, I might add, is easy.”
“Do you have a fixation with me?”
“Do you want the truth?” I question because the ‘real’ truth she may never be ready for. I’m not even sure I am.
“Yes,” she almost pleads with me.
“Promise me you’ll stay tonight, and I’ll tell you.”
“Okay, I’ll stay.”
“I do. I have a fixation with smell, and yours is my favorite smell. Even years after, when I first smelled you again, I knew I couldn’t stay away. But apart from your intoxicating smell, it’s also you as a person. No other woman has ever held my interest like you. You are literally perfection in my eyes.”
“I’m far from perfect by the sounds of things.” She scoffs, looking out the window again. “If I asked you to take me home, even though I just agreed to stay with you, would you?”
In the reflection from the window, I see her biting the inside of her cheek.
“I would.”
“I’ll stay, but I do want to go home tomorrow.”
“And I’ll take you,” I reply, finally pulling into my place.
She gets out without me helping her and walks up to the front door, then waits for me to open it. “What do you do for the mafia?” Her voice is soft as she starts asking the questions I am sure are troubling her mind right now.
“I do whatever Keir needs from me.”
“And what does he usually need?”
“I take lives,” I reply unashamed as I unlock the door and walk in, with Chanel following behind me cautiously.
“Do you have remorse?” She shuts the door behind her with a quiet click.
“No, not ever.”
“That’s sad. That makes me sad for you.”
“You can feel that for me. But, Chanel, I don’t. If he called and told me to kill the mother next door, I would. And I wouldn’t hesitate. I’m not your average man, Chanel. You need to really listen to me and understand that. I have no qualms with taking someone’s life when requested. There has only ever been one I could not take.”
“Whose?” she asks.
“Yours,” I reply, looking her straight in the eye. Then I walk into the bathroom and begin taking off my clothes.