I won’t.
“I’ve missed you.” His honesty shocks me. I couldn’t imagine Lucas two years ago saying he missed me. Not in this tone, at least. It’s almost desperate without sex involved.
“I haven’t heard from you or seen you in two years, Lucas,” I bite back, sounding as bitter as I feel. “That is not how you miss someone.”
“If I saw you, both of us would have died. Are you telling me I should have been even more selfish and come to see you?” he asks. I look away, not wanting his stare on me. Those dark eyes are felt all over my body, even when they’re locked on my face.
“I need to go, Lucas. My fiancé will be expecting me soon.” He says nothing. “What do you need for me to leave?”
“I want you to tell me that you thought about me as well. That seeing me does something for you.”
I stand.
Why is he desperate for my thoughts of him?
Does he need confirmation?
Lucas? Of all people.
“Is that all?”
“Yes,” he says, remaining seated.
Taking a deep breath, I look down at him. “Lucas, I think about you. And seeing you again does something to me.”
“You’re just repeating what I said.” The smile does not leave his lips. He knows the game I’m playing. “You can do better than that, mia per sempre.”
Licking my teeth, I move my gaze away from him and to the window. The night sky is dark, and my hands are becoming clammy. How can I go from being in my bed with Farris to being in the same room with Lucas?
“I didn’t like seeing you, Lucas.” My eyes find him again, and now the smirk is gone from those lips. “Because when I see you, despite my logical thinking, something utterly so stupid in me still beats for you, still wants you to step up and touch me. Those hands ghost along my skin, sending prickles over every inch of me. The only person who has ever been able to do that is you. And I hate that the most. The man I am with, who is good for me, who looks at me as if I am the sunshine, doesn’t have that same effect.”
“And how do I look at you?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “You look at me the same way I look at you, Lucas. It’s like we are in a sea of blood, and our only lifeline to survive is each other. As if the moment we touch, we both remember our hearts are no longer bleeding but pumping because we hear them so loud in our chests when we touch.”
Looking away from him, I go toward the door. He speaks as I reach for the doorknob.
“You are mine, mia per sempre. You know this, right?”
I have no more words to give him.
What else could I possibly say?
I still feel like his, and that’s the part I hate the most.
Stepping out, I shut the door and lean against it, taking a deep breath before I push off and walk down the hall.
“Chanel.” I stop as the door to the left of Lucas’s opens, and Piper is standing there. “I knew you were in there. I like you… you know this. So, I’m telling you this, girl to girl. Leave. Now. And never come back. Keir will kill him, and you too.” She steps back inside and shuts the door.
Farris ended up taking me home so I didn’t have to fly with them. I managed to find someone to cover my chartered flight and took the next commercial flight out with him. I told him I was feeling ill, and it worked.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at my place? I have no work tonight.” His hand lands on my thigh, and I look over at him as he drives the car.
“I just want to lie down in my own bed, you know?”
“Look, Chanel, I think we need to talk.” His hand grips the wheel. “You know I think the world of you…” He pauses, and I feel my stomach tighten at where this may be going. “But I messed up.”
One hand leaves the wheel and runs through his hair.