And I’m so fucking angry right now that all my control is gone. I don’t have any civility left.
The female doctor leaves to talk to Lizzie. She’s so quick to follow requests. It reminds me of how fast Luke was able to take care of our men in the worst possible conditions.
“This is an emergency treatment area. We don’t know the extent of the damage. We’re still building the full picture of your wife’s injuries. However…”
There’s that word again.
However.
As bad as but.
“However, the more people in the room, the less space we have to react. We need to keep the space as free as possible and the environment as sterile as it can be.”
Nodding, I’m aware of what he’s saying. But it doesn’t sink in until Dad starts for the door. “We’ll be outside if you need anything. Cassie is on her way. Penny has Grace. She didn’t want to bring her to the hospital.”
I keep nodding and nodding, like I’m taking in the conversation, but all that I can focus on is the wires and all the crap surrounding Fleur. It all makes her look smaller. Fragile.
Fuck.
It’s then I realise how lonely a life without her would be. It’s not like I’ve ever felt lonely before. But it’s the prospect of being without her…I’m lonely at the mere thought of living in a world without my trouble.
Chapter 51
CASPER
“Let fire rain from the sky. The sea turn to blood. The earth blaze with justice and victory.”
The words repeat in my thoughts as I thumb the rosary in my hand, my prayers strangled by the loud beeping of the heart monitor that’s become the soundtrack to the last day.
“Sangre.” The word sputters from my mouth while I do everything I can to hold myself together. “Sangre…”
It’s all I can say. Blood. So much fucking blood that I can’t wade through it. It’s all I can see when I look at her bruise-marled face.
I reach the heavy cross crowned by Fleur’s rings and stare at them. The ruby glints in the dim light filtering in through the window.
Sangre.
My blood.
Threading the rings from the rosary, I push them to the first knuckle of my pinkie.
“Flesh of my flesh,” I murmur, lifting her hand and clasping it in mine as I do exactly as the priest did at our wedding, winding the rosary over our joined hands. “Blood of my blood.”
The door cracks open and Lucian walks in without a word. Sitting in the chair on the other side of the bed, he looks between us before he lets out a shaky breath. Tears line his eyes.
“She’s all I have left of Grace, and he almost took her from me too.”
“I was meant to take her to dinner. I was going to finish early and…” My voice cracks with the stuttering of my heartbeat squeezing my lungs. “If I’d left when I said I was going to, then this…she—”
My head falls over our clasped hands, and all I can do is kiss her soft skin while I beg her forgiveness, over and over again until it’s a constant hum in my thoughts.
“This will end,” Lucian states, his hand resting on my head. “This will all end, and you’ll have her and your children. And they will have a better world. They’ll have what Grace wanted.”
“She is my world.” Fleur and Grace…the baby she’s carrying. Holding on tighter to her hand, I rest my other over her belly. “They’re my universe.”
Lucian’s hand trails from my head to where my hand rests over her belly. We sit in silence until Fleur starts to stir, her hand squeezing mine.
“My head,” she croaks groggily. “Ow…”