“At the time all I saw was an overreaction because I never stopped loving you. It felt like you were punishing him for no reason.”
“I never do anything without reason, Fleur. Never. Everything I do has a purpose.”
The weariness in his eyes is tinged with sadness. Sadness that I’ve caused him.
“I know that now. What my dad—” I pause to correct myself. “What Lucian said about a man taking pride in the woman he loves, I see that every time you look at me. I feel it every time you touch me.”
“Good, because you and Grace are the only things I am genuinely proud of. You’re the only things I hold no regrets over. I will do anything and everything for you both.”
“I know, and I understand now. I have the responsibility and the honour of protecting it. I never want to hurt you again, Casper.”
When he finally smiles, I can finally breathe again. For all of the couple of seconds it takes him to kiss me.
“It took you a while, but I knew you’d understand sooner or later.” Casper nudges the tip of my nose with his.
“You did?”
“You’re not dense, you know.” His chuckle is light as he draws me to him completely.
He holds me to him in content silence as we watch the sun creep behind the London skyline. It’s a peace I haven’t felt since we left Spain.
Chapter 45
FLEUR
Peace never lasts long. The photos from the restaurant have done the rounds with bold headlines of our elopement and secret love child. It took one of them mentioning our post-baby date night for Casper to realise that we’ve never had a real date. An odd thing since we’re married. But then we’ve done everything backwards.
I got pregnant, and then we moved in together because we were hiding away. We got married, and now we’re finally having a date. On my birthday of course.
Nervous doesn’t quite describe how I’m feeling. Turning twenty-four is turning out to be monumental. It’s been one long, weird, and incredible year. My life got torn apart and restored into something I couldn’t have fathomed asking for ever.
I’m married. I’m a mother. I’m a fucking jittery mess wondering what Casper has planned because he refuses to tell me anything.
Pumping is the greatest thing ever, because at least I have enough milk stored that I don’t have to feel guilty for the glass of wine I’m drinking while I get ready.
“Why are you freaking out about this?” Cassie asks over the phone. She’s on loudspeaker, also getting ready for the opening of Georgina’s ballet. “You’re married, for God’s sake. It’s not like you’ve never met him.”
“You’re not helping!”
I comb my long hair lightly to my nape and then go about putting it up into some kind of cute, messy knot that I can glam up with another pair of earrings from my mother’s box.
“I’ve never left Grace with anyone before. Not like this. She’s eight weeks old, Cass!”
“That’s like…two months. Don’t the Americans go back to work quicker than that?”
“What the hell do the Americans have to do with this?”
“I’m just saying that if they can go back to work with their babies that young, you can take a night to yourself and Casper.”
Genuinely, I thought she was trying to work her way into a conversation about the offer Leo’s mother made for an internship with her at the National Gallery. There may not have been any pressure, and it was kind of Lucian to talk to her about it, but…I don’t know.
It’s a great opportunity that could let me back into my master’s in Art History. However, I’m not sure how I feel about being around Professor Winthrop again, knowing that I’m a product of her ex-husband’s affair with my mother when they were still married. Seems uncouth.
“Have you given the internship any more thought?”
Fuck, I swear she lives in my head. My heart drops to my gut at what I’m going to tell her.
“Cassie…”