I laughed some more.
The ache was gone, and I could take a deep breath again.
Chapter Forty-Three
Sex tonight had been different. It was sweet, and Rio had been gentle. As much as I enjoyed the rougher stuff and the dirty things he said while we were doing it tonight, I’d felt as if he were treasuring me. He pulled my back against his stomach and held me close to him when we were done.
“I walked you home from school. You were reading To Kill a Mockingbird for English class and worrying over the book report you had to write,” he said.
I knew he was talking about the day he had found his mother. It was also the last time I had seen him until we moved here. Finding out he was gone had been devastating for me, but I knew that day must have been a nightmare he could never erase.
“You bought me an ice cream,” I reminded him.
Money wasn’t something either of us had had back then. I still didn’t know how he’d afforded the ice cream cone.
“Strawberry with sprinkles,” he added.
“You remembered,” I replied, surprised by the detail.
“There isn’t much I don’t remember about you,” he said. “Or the life we lived there.”
A sadness crawled over me.
Rio had been my savior. When I needed someone, he showed up, and for a moment in time, I was happy. He made me smile when I rarely had a reason to smile. When the world was against me, he was there beside me and often standing in the way of its hard blows.
Then, one day, he was gone. I mourned the loss of him in my life, but it was then I realized good things weren’t meant for me. They would always be taken away. Accepting that was what had gotten me through school, living with my aunt, and then life with Tory.
He had walked me to my aunt’s trailer that day and flashed me a smile that made the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. My aunt had already left for work, and it felt as if luck was on my side. But then the ambulance and cop cars surrounded his trailer. Neighbors came outside to watch, and I stood there, looking out the kitchen window, terrified yet hoping that Rio would come tell me what was happening. He’d never come.
“I worried about you for the longest time. Wished I had a number I could call. Anything to make sure you were okay,” he told me.
“Really?” I asked, turning in his arms to look at him.
He smirked. “Yeah. I was pretty damn sure I was in love with you back then.”
“Oh,” I replied.
Did I tell him I had been in love with him then and I was now? He cared about me. I was sure of that. Today had shown me that. I was always expecting the happy to be taken away from me. If I admitted I loved him, then life might take that from me too.
“I didn’t know anything about love back then,” he said.
I started to turn my back to him again. I didn’t want him reading my expressions. He stopped me before I could and took my chin between his two fingers so that I had to meet his gaze. He was smiling just enough for his dimple to show. I wanted to reach up and touch it. He had to be the most beautiful man alive.
“I was a stupid kid, fascinated with a gorgeous girl who wore clothes three sizes too big and had the sweetest smile in the world. But it wasn’t love,” he said.
His description of me back then was nice. I hadn’t seen myself that way.
“I’m still stupid at times, but I’m not a kid anymore,” he said, then pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I’m addicted to you, intoxicated, obsessed, and in love. I know how that feels now.”
I stared up at him, my heart thudding in my chest.
“You love me?” I asked.
“The crazy kind, yes.” He smirked.
I sat up and covered my cheeks with my hands. They felt hot. I turned and looked down at him, still lying there, watching me.
“We made love! That was why it was different,” I said more to myself than to him.
Rio chuckled. “Baby, we’ve been making love for a while now. Just because I’m talking dirty and spanking your ass doesn’t mean it’s not making love.”
I shook my head. “No, I mean, you were sweet and gentle. I felt special.”
Rio frowned then and reached up to grab my arm, then pulled me down onto his chest. “You’ve always been special.”
I held his face in my hands. “I love you,” I told him, realizing I hadn’t said the words back.
He turned his head just enough to kiss my palm. “Yeah, I thought you might, but today, after the little fit you threw over Vicky, I was sure then.”