I stepped out into the lobby and nodded at the receptionist, who smiled kindly and watched me walk toward the doors. The cold air hit me hard in the face, unlike my dream where it felt like nothing more than cotton falling from the sky. Flashes of the dream kept moving across my mind, and I walked around the resort to the courtyard and took a seat on the covered benches. I looked up at the mountain in front of me, the slopes illuminated, but the lifts frozen in time. Everything was absolutely silent, almost painfully so, and then I looked up, watching small snowflakes begin to fall from the sky. As they hit my warm, flushed cheeks, they melted, leaving tiny flecks of water on my face. For the first time in a very long time, I actually felt like myself again. I hadn’t been at peace like that since long before Grant came into my life.
There had actually been a time where I thought for sure that Grant was the peace and love that I was looking for. I was pretty sure that I had stayed so long in the relationship because I was craving that family, that bond, the things I should have known I would never get from him. Still, I had gotten so used to him, so used to the feelings that swirled through me when he was around, that I found it hard to break away. I was certain that him breaking it off from me had been the best thing that had ever happened to me. Finally, I had permission to go running in the opposite direction, finding a safe place on my own.
When I got to the resort, I never thought I would meet anyone that I could actually have a conversation with, much less be madly attracted to at the same time. I literally thought it would be a nice, quiet getaway, far from the hustle and bustle of real life. I didn’t really think that I would find someone I wanted to sleep with, m
uch less find myself enjoying him as a person as well. However, there I was, having sex-filled dreams of him and running outside in the cold night air just to try to get him off my mind. It seemed completely wild, and it wasn’t like me at all.
Thinking about it, though, it was really nice to have Cameron in my head instead of Grant. Next to each other, Cameron seemed like the man in the romance novel, while Grant was just the asshole ex with an axe to grind. I chuckled to myself, realizing that I had turned my life into a storyline for a love book. It definitely made everything seem more exciting, but I also knew I needed to pull myself back into reality.
I sat there on the bench for about forty minutes, until I was so cold that I was shaking. The sky was starting to lighten, and I knew it wouldn’t be long until the sun began to come up over the mountains. I stood up and stretched, listening to the light chirping of the small birds nested in the trees of the courtyard and beyond. I turned and walked back toward the resort and inside, stopping at the small concession station at the front and fixing myself a hot cup of coffee. It wouldn’t be long until the early bird skiers woke up and made their way out to the slopes, getting in a few good runs before the masses flocked through the snow. I wondered what it was like for the people who lived in Aspen to constantly be plagued by tourists, to always be shoveling snow, and to feel like they were in a perpetual loop of winter. I knew that it wasn’t always cold and snowy there, but I liked to think of it that way.
I took my coffee and headed back toward my room, figuring I would take a shower and change my clothes before coming down to breakfast. For the first time in forever, I actually felt like joining the masses and being part of a group instead of hiding out upstairs, ordering room service. I figured that Hailey would sleep in, especially knowing how much more wine she consumed the night before than me. It was pretty certain that she would be nursing a hangover all day. Hopefully, though, I would be able to explore, maybe even running into the hot man from my dreams.
Chapter 13
Cameron
Was it weird that I woke up before the sun and sat at my window, staring at the empty slopes? Not that weird. I used to do it all the time back home. What was weird was that the first thing I thought about when I opened my eyes was Bea. I imagined her soundly sleeping, wrapped up in her blankets in her suite, the little tufts of snow falling outside of her window. I knew how quiet it was on the other side of the glass. I used to sit there and take in the silence just before the early birds would take the slopes. It was a time for me to clear my mind, prepare for the training that I was facing, and move forward without fear or caution. It was probably my most favorite time of the day, and I often thought about it when things got hectic or out of control in my life. There was definitely no time for those kinds of things in the regular world, but as I sat there watching the sky lighten and the sun begin to peek through the crevasses of the mountain, I felt a renewed sense of self.
After the sun had come up, I jumped in the shower and went downstairs, grabbing a bagel and some coffee from the breakfast bar. I then made my way up to the fifth floor and stood out of sight, waiting for Bea to come out. My plan was to casually bump into her as if it were an accident. Like I was helping the hotel deliver a bagel to someone’s room on the fifth floor. I wasn’t sure if it would work, and most likely, she would see right through it, but I had spent enough time sitting around and thinking about her. I had to see her, even if it meant forcing fate’s hand.
I stood there for quite a while, eventually drinking most of the coffee in the cup. I leaned against the doorway, standing up straight every time I heard the creak of a door or the ding of the elevator. What if I was standing here, but she had already left her room before I got there? It would be pretty awkward for her to walk up behind me and see me creeping around her floor. I wasn’t spying on her, but I knew that it would be what it looked like from the outside perspective. I started to worry about it more and more, second-guessing myself and jumping every time the elevator made a noise. What was I doing? I was standing in the hallway of a girl I had met one time, waiting for her to come out of her room so I could ask her out. Since when did I become such a pussy that I couldn’t handle just doing it the right way?
I sighed and looked down at the cold bagel and empty coffee cup. I turned and tossed the cup in the trash and set the tray by the trashcan, holding the bagel in my hand, figuring it was probably going to be my breakfast since I had just chickened out of my plan. Besides, even if she did believe it, there was nothing saying she would actually agree to go to breakfast with me. I sighed, deciding to take the elevators on the other side of the floor since they came down near the lounge. As I started walking down the hall, Bea’s room door flew open, almost hitting me in the arm.
“Oh my Gosh,” Bea said, racing out and grabbing my arm. “I am so sorry, sir, I wasn’t…. wait a minute.”
“Oh, hey,” I said, trying to act surprised. “I was just coming up to deliver this bagel to room 514 for the kitchen.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, they had some call outs this morning, and I happened to be standing there,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“Interesting.” She smiled. “I wasn’t aware the maid service got room service, too.”
“What?”
“That room left early this morning.” She chuckled. “I was coming in from a morning stroll when they were leaving. The maid is in there right now, cleaning.”
Just as she said that, the door to 514 swung opened, and the maid pushed the cart out, waving at the two of us. I smiled and held up the bagel, watching as she turned and walked down toward the elevators. I put on a huge, fake grin and looked at Bea, who looked more amused than angry.
“Okay, I lied,” I said. “I wanted to see you, so I thought I could just ‘bump’ into you when you came out. It was a terrible cover… obviously. I just really wanted to take you breakfast. I didn’t think you would say yes after making the whole comment about fate.”
“So, you decided to try to cheat fate,” she said, shaking her head and smirking. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure,” I said, leaning in.
“I don’t believe in fate.” She giggled. “I just wanted to see if you would actually still be interested after I didn’t invite you back into my place. It seems that you have exceeded my expectations, and I give you extra points for the little flair you gave with that creativity.”
“I’m sorry, I, uh, I am such a nerd, and I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to do this,” I said. “I have been on the road for such a long time that actually courting someone… it’s a little…”
“Courting? In your travels, did you realize it’s not the 1700s?”
She laughed, holding her stomach and closing her eyes. I chuckled, feeling completely embarrassed. When she opened her eyes, she smiled and gave me a pitied look. She took in a deep breath, propped the door open with the stopper, and stepped out into the hallway. She reached up and pushed a piece of my hair out of my face and retracted her hand quickly, her cheeks blushing.
“Sorry, I, uh, it’s an old habit,” she said, shaking her head.
“It’s okay,” I said, laughing. “Waiting in the hall for a girl is not an old habit.”