“No, no, no. Wine won’t help anything.” I shake my head hard, almost toppling backwards again. “Not for Old Bill anyway. For me. A head bump shook my memories away but I’m sure it’ll bring them back.”
It’s so logical, it makes so much sense. I mean, I’ve smacked myself a couple of times trying to get my brain working but it was a real hard knock to get rid of them so it needs to be the same to get them back. It makes all the sense in the world. I grab all my belongings out of my pockets and chuck them on the sides.
“You aren’t serious?” Sia’s eyes widen with surprise. “You don’t actually want to do this?”
“It’s the only way. I don’t have any choice, Sia. Just you wait and see.”
I lift the wine bottle up but she snatches it from me and slams it down on the bar. “No, I cannot let you do this, it’s ridiculous. I think you’re drunk enough to need to go home. I’m going to call someone in your phone. What is the unlock code so I can find someone you know? I’d get you home myself but I can’t leave.”
“It’s two eight oh nine.” I watch as she slides the phone into her palm and she types rapidly. Sia thinks she’s so smart getting me out of here before I cause any trouble but I’m the clever one here. I know exactly what I’m doing. While she’s distracted and pressing some buttons, I sneak the bottle again and rise it above my head. I need to do this, it’s the only possible idea that will work. It’s this or nothing. I have to try.
“Hello?” I hear Sia say but I barely pay attention. I don’t even care who she’s calling because I’m so convinced about how right I am. “Is this Logan?” Urgh, I roll my eyes. Logan. “My name is Sia, and I need help…”
I bring the bottle down hard and fast, blinding my vision as it hits me. The pain takes a couple of seconds to burst free, for a moment there’s nothing but blankness, but then there’s a searing white hot pain which radiates. I think I’m screaming but I’m not too sure, there’s certainly a vibration in my chest. My knees give way, I can feel the ground coming for me, and in the one second before the blackness claims me, I see something that I haven’t before. A spark of what I think must be a memory. I hope it is, at least. Logan’s face. His warm, smiling, very comforting face, making me feel safe.
God, I wish I could be with him right now. I hope Sia’s talking to him and he’s coming. I miss him.
23
Logan
“We need to do something,” I tell Al hopelessly. “This isn’t something to be taken lightly anymore, it’s just getting worse.” I dart my eyes backwards to the bedroom where she lays, sleeping soundly. “I need help.”
“So, what happened? I don’t understand it, she knocked herself out in the bar? Why would she do that?”
I sigh loudly. “Well, I only have what Sia told me, but she said that Tamara got drunk and got all annoyed about her amnesia and she decided to hit herself on the head to bring her memories back. I don’t know if she fully knocked herself out or if she just fell down but the doctor said that she was okay. Nothing to worry about. Physically anyway.” I can’t help it, I’m so worried about her mental health. “But I still need to help.”
“Phew, man, that is heavy.” Al shakes his head emphatically. “I don’t know how I can help you.”
“I don’t know how exactly, but we’re going to have to.” I give him a pointed look. “I’m going to need you.”
“Me?” He almost looks put out by the suggestion. I guess this is too much for him, but he’ll have to put on his big boy pants and come through it all with me. I haven’t ever needed him more. “What can I do?”
“Not just you.” I glance away guiltily. This is the part that he isn’t going to like. “I called Katherine on the way over here and she’s coming to brain storm with us all. She knows Tamara better than anyone.”
Al face falls, then darkens. I can almost see the storm brewing above his head. I brace myself and wait. “Are you serious? Did you not see what happened the last time we were together? It exploded.”
“Yes, I know, trust me I have thought about that. That’s not the problem here because there won’t be any drink involved and you will just keep your god damn mouth shut.” I give him a warning glare. “Because I need you and so does Tamara. Right now, this moment isn’t about you and you will remember that.”
Al sulks, his face actually turns down into a frown. I almost chuckle at the silly teenager like expression on his face. “Fine, whatever, but just know that I’m not okay about it. It won’t be easy for me.”
“I’m just going to check in on Tamara, if Katherine comes to the door while I’m in the bedroom then just start being nice. Or, not nice, that might be a stretch for you, maybe just try being polite instead.”
“I am nice,” he calls after me. “Just to the women who deserve it and that doesn’t include her.”
I roll my eyes, ignoring that. He’s only nice to women he
wants to hook up with as far as I can see, and clearly Katherine doesn’t fit into that category. But that’s just tough, he’s going to need to change for now.
I move into the bedroom and an ice cold terror grips at my heart as I look at her sleeping across the bed. Her body is spread eagle over the sheets like she doesn’t have a scrap of inhibition in sight. But I know that her insides aren’t like that at all. She might be calm and cool while she’s sleeping but when awake she’s a ball of terror. I can see it across her face the entire time. I don’t like to think about anxiety and depression too easily because I know they are serious conditions, but it’s too hard to ignore this might be going on here.
“I want you to be better,” I coo quietly to Tamara. “I want this to all be okay again.”
I don’t know how she’s going to react to staying here, she probably won’t be too pleased in the morning, but I couldn’t just leave her and I didn’t want to take her home to leave her alone either. She’s been wasted, she’s been injured, we even had to call a doctor out to see her who said not to leave her alone. I just hope she isn’t fuming. The last thing I want is yet another argument with her when all I want to do is help.
“I’m going to do what I can.” I swipe some of her hair away from her mouth. “Me, Al, and Katherine are going to come up with a plan between us. And if this happening to you can help them to get along, then it hasn’t all been for nothing, am I right?” I laugh awkwardly at my dumb joke. “Anyway, it’s going to be fine.”
I remain where I am for a few moments just watching her breathe deeply. My mind spins back over the conversation I had with the nice bar maid while I do. She told me that Tamara seemed crazy for a moment, and I can really believe that. She’d been becoming increasingly unhinged ever since I told her.