She leaned forward to kiss him again, and this time their kiss was rough. They were both desperate and hot with anticipation. He nibbled on her bottom lip as she explored his mouth with her tongue. His hand remained under her skirt, stroking her still. She was afraid that she would lose control there and then, that she would orgasm quicker than he was expecting her to. She was holding herself back, she was trying to control it, but his fingers, dripping and slippery with her own juices, was making it very difficult.
“Rip off my clothes, Leon. Make me feel good again.” She found herself saying, and to her surprise, his fingers suddenly stopped moving.
With a quick jerk, he had released her from his arms, and Ivy went falling back. She fell back on the bed, and gasped with surprise. What was going on?
Leon stumbled back, rubbing his hands over his face. He suddenly looked exhausted and angry again.
“What’s the matter? What happened?” Ivy cried, sitting up, watching his confused expression change to rage.
“I’m sorry, Ivy. I can’t make you feel good.” He said, running his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair.
“What are you talking about, Leon?” She asked him, biting down on her lip.
“I can’t make you feel good. I can’t make you happy.” He muttered, looking about the room like he wasn’t sure where he was.
“Leon, is this about your past? What’s the matter?” She cried, jumping off the bed and rushing towards him.
Leon stepped back, his back hitting the closed door of the room. Ivy placed her hands on his chest, in an attempt to calm him, but he glared at her, like he wanted to run away.
“I can’t make women happy. You are too lovely, you’re too beautiful and smart to want me. I will only end up hurting you.” He said, in a low guttural voice.
Ivy shook her head, still biting her lip.
“Who told you that? What are you talking about?” She barked at him, clutching the front of his shirt with her hands.
“The woman I wanted to marry.” He said, finally meeting her eyes. Ivy’s hands dropped from his chest.
“You’re in love with someone else?” She asked, stepping away from him.
Leon remained silent, and averted his gaze from her again.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in love with somebody else.” Ivy said, the tears returning now. She knew she should have stayed away from him. She knew he wasn’t the man for her.
“Ivy, look…” He began to say but she interrupted him.
“I understand now, Leon. You can’t change what the heart wants. I was foolish to throw myself at you.” She said harshly, more angry with herself than anything else.
“No, you’re not…” He tried to say, but she had stopped him again.
“You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Leon. I won’t be making a fool of myself again. I’m going away.” She said, clasping her hands to the front. He jerked his head up to look at her.
“No, you don’t have to. I’ll tell your daddy you can work here as long as you want. I was being selfish. You need a job, and I need an employee.” He said, meeting her eyes.
Ivy shook her head.
“No, I have another job. I’m going away. I’ll leave town soon. You don’t have to worry. You can hire somebody else, someone who won’t tempt you and seduce you and trouble you.” She said and whipped around from him.
“You’re leaving town?” She heard him ask from behind her.
“Yes.” She replied, hoping that he would ask her where. Hoping that there was still some hope, that he might still want her.
“I’ll leave a sandwich for you on the kitchen counter, in case you get hungry later.” He said, after a few moments of silence. And then he was gone, he had left her room and gently shut the door behind him.
Ivy fell back
down on the bed, drawing the covers up close to her chin. She had never felt this miserable before, and all for a man who was in love with somebody else.
Ivy didn’t get out of bed the next day till mid-day. Even then, she showered slowly, changed into a pair of old loose jeans and a fresh blouse, not in any hurry to leave the room. She figured, the less she saw of Leon, the better it would be for her to control her feelings.