“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes,” he stammered before leaving my room and pulling the door closed. I glanced down and saw that I was dressed only in a tank top, bra and a pair of panties that were askew from my earlier activity. I was barely covered with my sheet, running hot on a regular basis, and always kicking blankets off to begin with. There was a part of me that was admittedly ashamed that he’d seen me in such a state. There was another deeper part of me, a carnal part that loved the way that he was looking at me. It was a part of me that wanted to do it again, to break him down so that he wanted me as much as I did him. I knew there was something in his gaze that told me that he did, even if it was a part of him that he was denying.
I hopped out of bed and changed into some leggings in the bathroom after I freshened up. I could still smell the lingering scent in my bedroom of my masturbation, and I suspected that he could as well. I pulled a longer t-shirt over the pants, wearing only a camisole underneath with no underwear under the leggings. It wasn’t the first time I’d done this. It was my home, and I deserved to be comfortable.
I headed downstairs to see him in the kitchen with platters of chicken and vegetables on the counter, smelling delicious. I walked over to get plates and glasses, taking them to the table automatically as I took in the majestic view with a smile. Perry followed with one of the platters, and I grabbed the other before I took my seat at the end of the table and Perry at the other. It wasn’t a big table at all, meant for the two of us when we didn’t have guests, but there was room to sit beside one another. He chose not to do that, and I took the bottle of wine that he’d opened for us and poured a glass, something that he typically did. I sipped as I watched him load up his plate without eye contact and longed for the closeness that I was accustomed to.
Where was the balance that I craved? Where was the relationship that I wanted with him so badly?
Perry seemed to relax as we ate, asking me about my tests as he seemed to grow more comfortable with me as the moments passed. I admitted that I was certain I scored a good grade, as I often did and he seemed pleased as he asked me what my plans were after graduation.
My degree was in graphic design so I had a lot of places I could live while doing that. I also minored in Journalism, since that style of writing always fascinated me as well. I felt that it gave me a lot of options when I chose it, even though I wanted to be here with Perry for the rest of my life.
“I’m not sure. I suppose I’ll find a job and learn how to be a real adult,” I answered lightly as he frowned. “I could work anywhere, actually. I have the internships with the best firms in the area as experience, right?”
“You can do whatever you dream, Caroline. Anything.” Perry smiled at me, and I forced one back. “Taking those internships that last years of college were smart on your part. You have experience in both of your fields, and you could work at a firm doing design while you did some freelance writing, if you chose to. Though I don’t want you to work too hard,” he added as something crossed his face.
“Like you do?” I teased him as our gazes locked for a moment.
“Exactly like me. I used work to cope when we lost your parents, and I think I could have made better use of my time. I feel like I ran away from it,” he said in a rare moment of honesty.
“W
e both did the best that we could with what we had. I love you for all that you did for me, gave me…it was perfect and what they would have wanted. Dad worked a lot too, and Mom was always taking on a writing project that pushed her limits. It’s in my blood to work hard, I think.” I wiped the tear that slid down my cheek as I kept my eyes on his face, feeling vulnerable in this moment. I wanted to tell him that I loved him in ways that were wrong but they felt so right. I wanted to say that I wanted to be the woman that took care of him and made him happy in every way. “Perry…I could never express my gratitude to you properly.” Though I could, in his bed or mine. I wanted to learn every inch of his sinful body and what made him come the hardest, thoughts that warmed my face as I took another gulp of my wine.
“You do every day, Caroline. I love you, too.” He told me as I stared past him at the window to clear my mind of the carnal thoughts that were filling it. Did he?
We cleaned up together as we always did, though I found myself playing back our conversation. I’d tried a few tactics in the past to test Perry’s feelings for me, with Colton being one of the bolder ones. He was the bad boy at school, and every girl wanted him. I had to admit that there was something sexy about him though I was just using him as a decoy to make Perry jealous. Colton came over for dinner a few times, and we went out for a couple of months once I sank my claws into him. He wasn’t a deeply intelligent guy, but he could hold a conversation with my guardian, even though I listened to Perry speak more than my own boyfriend. How sick was that?
Colton was used to women giving into his needs and slowly started to pressure me to sleep with him. I assumed that he was a good kisser, though I always went back to wondering what Perry’s mouth tasted like when we were together in those moments. I knew deep down that I couldn’t give Colton what he wanted and once Perry seemed to express that he was merely concerned with my getting hurt in the relationship, I quietly ended things. Colton moved on quickly, and I didn’t care. I was never interested in him, and I tried with other guys since that is what friends seemed to be doing in their lives.
I found myself paying attention to what Perry did as a reaction to all my attempts. Jealousy was a game played well by teenage girls from what I could see, but he didn’t seem to respond like the guys my friends liked in school. Perry was strict in his reactions, never letting on that he knew what I was up to, just looking on as he warned me about what assholes guys could be.
It was just what Dad would have told me, but Perry wasn’t my father. He was the center of my being. This was so very complicated.
Chapter Four
Perry
I played back the image of Caroline on her bed that day, sleeping soundly with her hand draped over her thigh. She wasn’t naked, but I saw her curves and pale skin more than I needed to, stirring something inside of me. She was beautiful, just like her mother. I knew from the scent in the air and the way her lace panties were twisted just a bit that she was making herself come at some point that day, something that I wanted to deny but couldn’t. Caroline was my niece though not by blood, and I wanted to see her as an innocent girl, not someone that felt lust and desire the same way that I did.
I loved to watch a woman make herself come. It was that way in person with a close intimate partner as well as a choice in viewing porn, and the idea made me hard as I stepped into the shower. Did Caroline do that for a man, perhaps that punk ass kid from high school? Did he know what she sounded like when she came on her hand or even wrapped tightly around his cock? Fuck…I reached down and stroked myself under the hot water as guilt flooded me. “I’m sorry, Brandon,” I whispered as I gripped tighter and closed my eyes. “She’s so fucking beautiful.”
I wondered how she did it as I moved my hand hard and fast. Was she a clit girl or did she fuck herself with her fingers? Oh, fuck. I jerked and sprayed the wall with my release, taking deep breaths as I gasped her name. This was wrong, so fucking wrong. I felt the waves of pleasure continue as I reminded myself that she was my niece and that I was her guardian. I was here to care for Caroline and send her into the world as a strong woman, not to fuck her. God, I wanted to right now. I finished in the shower and cleaned up, drying off as I looked myself in the mirror.
I went back to when she was a baby, sweet and full of laughter. I was young then, fucking women left and right as I watched my friends fall deeper in love even though they were so close to my age. Could I find that?
I spent more time with Caroline as she grew, loving her intelligence and wit. Even as I kept sleeping around town, I never found a woman my age that I respected as much. I started to believe that my standards were too high, even though I lowered them when Caroline was living with me and I thought that she needed a woman in her life.
They always seemed to like her as a person, though not our relationship. They were jealous of all that I did for Caroline, wanting the attention for themselves. She came first as if she was my own daughter.
She wasn’t though, something I knew as she approached her late teens. Caroline was beautiful, and her level of maturity only made her glow more. She had a lot to offer a man, and now it hit me that she knew that. I dressed in shorts to go downstairs for some water. The house was a three-level home with a lot of space. Caroline had the floor just below me with her big room and bathroom, and I had a room in a similar size. There were three guest bedrooms on the first floor as well as a large gym and office for me. I had a lot of money, but I wasn’t the kind of man to be cocky about that. I built my house with my needs in mind, not adding garish things such as bowling alleys and theaters. I could go out and do both of those if I chose to, allowing myself a ninety-inch TV in my sunken living room to enjoy movies and television on. That was enough since I had little time for more than catching the scores of the day.
I liked seeing Caroline watch movies in there, the fire going as she snuggled under one of the many blankets. I was an admitted bachelor before she moved in and Caroline made me add some softer touches to my home. She spent a lot of time in that room; studying, reading, or watching television even though I expected her to spend a lot of time in her bedroom. It was generously sized and overlooked the forest below us, something that I loved in my own room. Caroline preferred being downstairs, maybe feeling like she wasn’t alone or something along those lines. I spent more time in there when she came to live with me, working on my laptop a lot with the background noise of whatever show was on the set.
It felt like a family, something that I never would have asked for the way that I received it. I was torn between my grief and the fact that I liked her being here with me.
Now, I’d just jerked off to Caroline in my shower. What kind of monster was I?
I pulled a shirt over my torso, something that wasn’t typical of me. I preferred comfort, and I always thought that I kept that at an acceptable level with Caroline before now.