“Hey,” I sighed.
“Uh oh,” she replied. “What happened? Tell me all about it.”
“I went to work yesterday to apologize to Tanner, and we ended up making up,” I explained. “We promised each other no more secrets and no more lies. The last thing left was to break the news to my father. Well, Dad came over today, and I told him that Tanner was important in my life.”
“And your dad freaked out?”
r /> “No, actually the opposite,” I replied.
“Okay,” Brianna said confused. “So, what’s the problem?”
“He felt that way because Tanner took him to lunch yesterday and told him about his feelings for me,” I said. “He didn’t even warn me that he had done that.”
“And you are angry over this,” she said without emotion.
“Of course, I am,” I scoffed. “He immediately went out and betrayed my trust again.”
“Ava,” she said with a sigh. “You need to get your shit together. Tanner didn’t do anything wrong. You’re just mad because you don’t have any more excuses.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Yes, you do,” she said. “You are being a pussy, and the longer your father is upset with Tanner, the longer you can wait to tell him exactly how you feel about him. You’re scared. But Ava, your fear is completely ruining your life.”
“What am I supposed to do? This was not in my plans,” I said with emotion.
“When is love ever in the plans? You need to tell Tanner how you feel, lay it all out for him, and then see where the chips fall,” she said. “Stop being so scared. it’s your biggest hindrance. Everyone who knows you knows that. You’re just too scared to see it yourself.”
We talked for a few more minutes before hanging up. I sat up in the bed and replayed her words over in my head, chuckling arrogantly as I attempted to blame away her response. However, as the thoughts of how I handled us that whole time played in the back of my mind, I realized that she might be right. Maybe I didn’t spill my guts every time I had a feeling, but that was what was keeping me going. I had amazing walls that even Tanner couldn’t completely knock down. The problem was, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to let that guard down.
Chapter 31
Tanner
So much for Sunday fun day as I hadn’t heard from Ava at all. I woke up in the morning and took a shower, checking my phone several times to see if she had called. I went out into the kitchen and cooked myself an omelet and some toast. When I was done eating, I took my coffee in the living room and decided to try to distract myself by watching some Sunday morning cartoons. It was my dirty little secret. I was never allowed to watch them as a kid, so even though they were terribly boring, I almost always put them on as an adult, even if they were in the background.
That morning I was staring right at the screen, but they were still in the background. Dean and I had really hashed things out at lunch two days prior, and I felt better about our relationship. He had given me his blessing on dating Ava, but I figured it was important that she talk to him herself. On Saturday, I kept my phone on but never heard anything from Ava. I ended up going into work and getting caught up on things I had neglected over the past couple of weeks, assuming that by the evening I would have word but still nothing from her. To say that I was frustrated was an understatement, and I wanted to text her but I didn’t want to bother her if she was with her family.
I was sure, by that point, that Ava would have contacted me, letting me know that she had spoken with Dean and that she had gotten the same blessing. Having not heard from her, I could only assume that her silence meant she hadn’t yet told him. I was a little bit irritated by this fact, but at the same time, she knew what she was doing when it came to her father. I needed to start trusting that Ava was going to be honest with me like we had promised each other. At that point, there was no reason to even start lying to each other. Things had finally slowed down and calmed down, which meant my focus would soon return, and Ava and I could have a real relationship.
I finished my coffee and stood up, walking over to the window and looking out at the foggy New York morning. It was starting to get bitingly cold outside, but instead of turning on the heat, I went and changed into a sweatshirt and slippers. Having a top floor penthouse had its ups and downs, and when it got cold, my apartment seemed to be freezing. However, as the sun would peek out, my apartment also seemed to heat up better than any other I had experienced. It was a double-edged sword. Either way, the cold only distracted me for a minute, and when Ava came back to my mind, I decided it would be best if I just called her.
I dialed her number and walked back in the living room, sitting down on the couch. She answered on the second ring, but instead of her normal sunshine self, I was greeted with a grumpy tone. Immediately, her tone of voice made me know that something was wrong, but I had no idea what it could be. She sat there quietly on the phone, waiting for me to say something. I didn’t want to upset her but it was more than a little frustrating to have back in another bad mood, avoiding me at every turn.
“How are you this morning?”
“Fine,” she said with a monotone voice.
“Just fine?”
“Look, I have things to do,” she said with irritation. “Do you need something specific?”
“No,” I said bitterly. “I was just calling to see what was going on, I hadn’t talked to you in a couple of days.”
“Everything is fine, Tanner,” she replied. “If there’s nothing else, I’m going to go.”
Okay, I had had enough of this shit. I was constantly turning the corner and having the wind knocked out of me for something else that Ava found irritating. It was like she didn’t realize the world didn’t revolve around her. Everyone was different, had different lives, and different interests, but she was acting as if everyone thought the same way she did. It was extremely frustrating when she would get angry, and I had no idea what was going on.
“What is up with you?” I no longer could play the good guy.