“That sounds perfect,” he said kindly. “I’ll be over soon.”
We hung up the phone, and I grabbed the fleece out of the closet, not wanting to turn on the heat just yet. The day was fresh and there was a good likelihood it would warm up into the sixties outside later, which would raise the temperature of the apartment to a comfortable seventy-four or seventy-five degrees. This was the time of year I could save some money on the crazy electric bill that New York weather produced. I lay there bundled up on the couch for quite a while, my head on the pillow, and my eyes gazing out at the tree in front of the window. There were people out walking their dogs, taking their children to the park, and doing other normal Saturday activities. Part of me was jealous, wanting to have that kind of life as well. However, in order to do so, I needed to get through this first part of things, telling my father the truth.
I was pretty sure my father was going to show up with either coffee, breakfast, or both, which was fine with me since I had completely forgotten to buy coffee or groceries for that matter. Everything had been a mess recently, so much that I was thankful I had remembered to brush my teeth everyday much less keep up with the grocery shopping. I got up and bounced to the door as soon as I heard the knock, opening the door and hugging my father. I took the bags from his hands and walked over to the table, sitting down and unloading the breakfast. He sat down a coffee in front of me and smiled.
We started talking immediately, having our normal chitter chatter about the city and the weather before talking about anything else. My father seemed happy, something I hadn’t seen in a really long time. He was always so stressed out when I was growing up and part of that had to do with my mother and her constant nagging.
“You know what I thought about the other day?”
“What’s that, sweetie?” He leaned back in his chair.
“The time Mom and I went upstate to that amusement park,” I said smiling. “Neither one of us like roller coasters, so we spent all day eating candy and riding the Merry Go Round.”
“That was when I couldn’t get off work,” he said laughing.
“Yeah,” I replied. “It was such a good day. What happened to Mom?”
“The same thing that happens to almost everyone,” he said sighing. “You pass on life experiences over and over, and then one day, you’re terrified that you missed out on life. That was what, or is what, your mother is going through.”
“But she’s hurting everyone else around her,” I said, “which kind of sounds like someone else I know.”
“Oh, sweetie,” he laughed. “You are not going through the same thing. You’re young, and you’re testing the waters. You’re figuring out who you are and what you want.”
“It’s funny how I want both sides of the fence,” I said, looking down at my sandwich. “I want the career and the personal life. I don’t want to have to make a choice like you and Tanner had to. I want it all.”
“And you can have that,” he said laughing. “You are much smarter than me.”
“Dad,” I said, thinking about Tanner. “What you and I have, how close we are, is extremely important to me. I’d go to any lengths to keep it intact.”
“I would too, baby,” he said kindly.
“That being said, my relationship with Tanner is just as important to me,” I said, looking up at him and waiting for a reaction.
I waited for a moment as he played the words over in his head. He tapped his finger on the glass tabletop underneath his hand, and slowly his face softened. He sighed and smiled slightly, and I let out a deep breath. He chuckled slightly and took a sip of his coffee, obviously not surprised at all about anything I’d said. I was confused, but I didn’t want to ask any questions. I just wanted to hear what he had to say about it.
“I already knew all of this,” he said with a smile. “Yesterday afternoon, I met with Tanner. We hashed a lot of things out. And before the lunch was over, he was extremely honest about how he felt about you. I know when that man is lying, but I saw tears in his eyes when he talked about how important you are to him and how much he loves you. So, I gave him my blessing, as long as you felt the same way.”
“Oh,” I said, taken back by what he was saying.
We continued talking for a couple of hours, but my mind was back on Tanner. I should be ecstatic, seeing that my father was on board with us dating, but I wasn’t. Tanner had gone behind my back and talked to my father, and didn’t say anything about it to me. We had just gotten done promising each other a fresh start, a clean slate, and a relationship with no lies. Here I was again, finding out that what he told me was not the truth. How could he go and do that? I knew he did it to make my father feel he could trust him again, but still, the partnership I thought we had was not going to happen the way I wanted it to. Instead, I was sitting there thinking about how he had betrayed me again.
My father didn’t seem to notice that I was upset, which was good, because I didn’t want him to be involved in any of this anymore. He had come to terms with my job, my relationship, and the fact that I had lied to him. From there on out, it was going to have to be me dealing with Tanner the way I thought was best. I couldn’t figure out why my heart wanted to see him but my brain was screaming at me to be angry. Everything was complicated all over again, and I was really looking forward to getting this over with and moving on, with Tanner and I receiving the opportunity for a fresh start. It was all too good to be true from the start, and I should have been prepared for something like that. Again, I was left dizzy after being sideswiped by the man I loved. It was starting to get annoying how much I had to deal with.
“All right,” Dad said, stretching his arms out. “Can I help you clean this up?”
“No,” I said snapping back to the present. “I got this.”
“I’m going to head out,” he smiled. “I have a tennis match with a few guys from the office. Gotta keep myself in shape.”
“Okay,” I said happily. “Thank you for breakfast and coffee.”
“Anytime, sweetheart,” he said. “Anytime. You just call me.”
“I will,” I said walking him to the door.
We embraced, and he kissed me on the cheek before walking out. I closed the door and locked it, standing there staring and thinking about what I had just found out. I sighed and walked back to the table, cleaning up the trash and wiping it down. When I was done, I grabbed my cell phone and laid down in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I dialed Brianna’s number and laid there, waiting for her to answer.
“Hey, girl,” she said happily.