With regret, I tell her all about the new stories and the police raid of the office. I can see her face falling as I get to the part with the photographs. She doesn’t like it any more than I do.
“So, now the press is outside your house?”
“Yes, I don’t know what to do about it. Obviously, I can’t go out at the moment…”
“No, I would suggest that you stay in. At least for a little while. Where is she?”
“Nova?” I suddenly realize my mistake as I say her name aloud for the first time. “She isn’t here. She left because she was so upset about all the trouble she got me into.”
“Have you spoken to her? Are they harassing her as well?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to her since she left.”
“Maybe you should try.”
I furrow my eyebrows together. “You don’t think that’s dangerous?”
“Maybe, but son, I know you well enough to understand that you wouldn’t have done any of this if that woman didn’t mean the world to you. She must be incredibly important for you to risk it all. You don’t want to lose her.”
She cares so much about my company and I know that the last thing my mom wants is for me to lose it, so to hear her say this really clears the fog in my mind a little bit. Perhaps things aren’t as simple and straightforward as I would like them to be, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t something worth fighting for.
“Yeah, I’ll think about it, Mom.”
“And you always have a place to come to in France, if you want a getaway. You haven’t been here for years, it would be lovely to see you.”
The yearning to hop onto a plane and to put all of this behind me for good is almost too much, but if I go I don’t think I’ll ever want to come back, and I do have stuff to fight for here. I don’t want to run and look like I’ve done something wrong. I don’t want to push Nova away for good, potentially sending her back to Jeremy, I don’t want to lose my livelihood.
I shouldn’t have to either. Yes, I have done some things wrong, but only a bit… It was only love, making me go nuts. People do way worse and don’t have their lives destroyed.
Jeremy thinks that he can control everyone, he’ll always have so much power. It’s time to take this asshole down, to prove to everyone that he isn’t on top of the pile.
With a smile on my face, I try to call Nova as a first step. I just want to speak to her, to see how she is. I don’t even know how I managed to convince myself not to a minute ago, it’s so silly to keep away from someone who in such a short space of time means so much to me.
So much that I might even move her…
Ring, ring… ring, ring… ring, ring…
But that exciting, potentially life-changing thought remains only for me because she doesn’t answer. I guess just because I want to speak to Nova, doesn’t mean she wants to talk to me.
“Hi, this is Nova, sorry I can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the bleep.”
“Hi, Nova, it’s me…” I pause, mid-sentence, unsure of what else I want to say, then like a fool I hang up. I don’t even know what makes me do it, only I don’t know what to say.
Maybe Mom is wrong, maybe I am wrong, perhaps this just isn’t meant to be.
17
Nova
“Just hear me out,” Jeremy begs before I can slam the door in his face. “Please.”
There are so many things that I want to do, so many ways in which I want to tell him to go fuck himself but thinking about what he’s already done to Zane scares me. Maybe I need to placate him a bit, just to get him to lay off.
“I don’t know what you could possibly have to say to me, Jeremy. You’ve been following me, trying to ruin me, pushing me further away from you.”
“You’re my wife. I need to know where you are all the time, to make sure that you’re safe. Even if you are shacking up with some other man.”
I fold my arms across my chest, refusing to be intimidated. It’s funny how when I’m not inside Jeremy’s house I can feel a bit more secure in myself. Also, we’re outside Clara’s home, there could be people around, I don’t think Jeremy will act out just in case.