“You don’t have any right to tell me what to do, Jeremy.”
“I’m your husband.”
“You haven’t acted like my husband for a very long time. Years, in fact. You have cheated on me left, right, and center the whole time, so you ruined our wedding vows ages ago.”
He looks gob smacked like I’ve punched him in the face. However brave I’m feeling, it isn’t that brave. I don’t trust him not to smack me right back if I lash out first. Then he would probably feel totally okay about it because I started it.
“You don’t have any proof that I’ve done anything wrong…”
“The lipstick, the perfume, the gifts you buy your mistresses… it wouldn’t take me long to prove what a bad person you are.”
He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times like a goldfish before speaking out again. “Okay, so maybe I haven’t always been the best, but we could make it work.”
“How?” I demand. “What do you suggest?”
“Marriage counseling? A mediator? A vacation. We could go to New York like you’ve always wanted.”
“Nope, it isn’t me who’s always wanted to go there. Must be one of your other girls.”
“You’re acting like you don’t even want to try, Nova.”
“I don’t think I do,” I admit very honestly. “And I’ve tried to tell you. I’ve been trying to make you see that it’s over and I think you know it which is why you had lashed out…”
“I never hit you,” he insists like that makes him a beacon of morality.
“I know, but you have been violent.”
“How the fuck have I been violent?”
“Pushing, shoving, locking me in a cupboard…”
“I didn’t lock you.”
I shake my head dismissively. I’m not going to go around in circles with him, not a chance in hell. I’ve spent enough of m
y life trapped in this cycle.
“Look, Jeremy, there isn’t any counseling that will work. This has gone too far now. There isn’t any coming back from what’s happened. I don’t think we can ever get to a happy place where the past doesn’t matter anymore. It’s too toxic and we need to walk away.”
He slaps his palm hard against Clara’s door frame making me jump. It seems he still has his fear in me which I guess is just what he wants.
“Fuck you, Nova. You are fucking selfish bitch. I gave you everything. You had a nice house, a great life, money pouring out your ass.”
“I didn’t want any of that.”
“The hell you didn’t. You were happy to stop working, to sponge off me.”
“No, I wasn’t. You were the one who wanted that.” I’m not going to be blamed for his choice. “And you wanted to dress me in a certain way, I was always just a pawn in a game for you.”
“And now you’re taking the clothes from another man… who apparently wants you dressed like a scruff. That’s a real step up, you bitch.”
I’m taken aback, so much so that it takes me a couple of moments to respond. “Jeremy, you can’t keep hurting me anymore, I’m done with you.”
He grabs my wrists and pulls me to him, reminding me of his physical strength. “I am not done with you, Nova, and I never will be. I refuse to give you up.”
I gulp, trying to swallow my fear down. “Is that why you’re doing all this stuff?”
“What stuff?” he growls back, his eyes raking hungrily up and down me. I need to keep him talking before he takes a step I’m not prepared for. It seems the fear of being seen isn’t bothering him anymore.