“Accounting does sound…” I gulp. “Fun. Working for a newspaper can be pretty nuts too.”
“Oh, I used to know a guy who worked for a newspaper, he had a mental time…”
Max proceeds to tell me all about his friend, completely jumping over my chance to talk about myself, I tuned out. I’m not exactly one who wants to bleat on about myself, but surely, I should be given a chance to say something as well? Conversations are supposed to be a two-way things. Not just me listening in.
What did we have in common? I ask myself desperately. There has to be a reason Luci and I picked him.
But nothing comes to mind. I can’t remember anything. His profile is just a blank in my mind, a bit like him.
“Do you want another drink?” Max pipes up finally grabbing my attention. “More wine?”
“Sure…” I slug back the rest of my drink quickly. “Sounds great, wine. Thank you.”
I have drunk more than I was going to, more than Luci advised, but I can’t seem to stop myself. After the initial moment of panic, with the help of Luci and the outfit she got for me, I got myself all worked up and excited about tonight. I reminded myself that of course I wasn’t going to find the love of my life, but I would have a good time and get used to the idea of dating. I didn’t even mind the idea of a confidence knock because I thought it would be character building. I thought it would be a necessary experience that would put me level with everyone else… what I didn’t expect was to be bored to death all night long. To wish I wasn’t here.
“So, Allie…”
“Addie,” I pipe up, getting annoyed by him constantly calling me the wrong name. “I mean Addison.”
“Right, Addison, sorry.” He smacks his forehead hard. “It’s hard to keep track sometimes. I go on so many dates that I forget who I’m with sometimes. I hope you get it; I know you get it.”
I try to force out a laugh but that really isn’t funny. Is it normal to admit that he’s been on so many dates? I suppose in a way it’s him being honest, but in another way it feels incredibly rude. He doesn’t even care.
I don’t want to be here. I jump up from my chair, hardly thinking. I need to get out.
“I erm… I’m just going to the bathroom,” I improvise. “I will be back in a moment.”
“Yes, okay, well I will make sure there is some wine by the time you get back.”
Before I even leave the table, he has his cell phone out, and he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s on a dating app. There’s absolutely no consideration for me at all. I mean, I knew that this wasn’t going well, but does he have to look for someone else while I’m still here? Is this the cesspool that I’ve let myself in to?
I grab my bag and race towards the bathroom with my heart pounding in my throat. As soon as I’m inside, I lock myself in a cubical and I fire off a text to Luci. She said that she would be there on the other end of the line if an emergency occurred, and I really think this qualifies. I don’t know what the hell to do.
My fingers shake as I grab my phone out of my bag, I’m trembling all over. I’m a mess
. If this doesn’t constitute as an emergency, then I don’t know what does. I need an escape.
Addison: Help me, Luci! This is going terribly x
Luci: What’s going on? x
Addison: He’s so boring. And dreadful. He’s on dating sites as we speak. x
Luci: Okay yeah, that does sound pretty bad. Do you need a call to get you out? x
Addison: Yes, I do. Desperately. This is a nightmare. Save me, Luci! Save me x
Luci: Are you sure? You aren’t just panicking because it’s your first one? x
Addison: No, this is bad. It’s really bad. I can’t describe it to you over text x
Luci: Okay, in about ten minutes I will contact you. Make up some emergency x
Addison: Thank you. You’re a life saver. I’m in the bathroom now so I’ll head back x
Luci: I’ll meet you at your place. You can tell me all about it and we’ll have a laugh x
The idea of turning this into a funny anecdote and to have a laugh about it with my friends, makes me feel a little lighter about it. I know Luci has some bad dating stories herself, so that makes me much less alone. I clutch my phone to my chest and grin, no longer shaking. I can escape this. It’s nearly over. Then I don’t have to do it again for a long time. I’ve done the whole dating thing now; Luci will be sated. I can go back to normal.