I blink. This is a weird feeling. I haven’t been alone for over a week and a half. If it wasn’t Kyle trying to inconspicuously watch over me, it’s been Jacqui nagging me to stay with her, or one of Kyle’s clubmates keeping watch in the corner of my vision. For the first time, I feel like I can breathe without everyone hovering over me.
Then I catch sight of a familiar jacket in the café across the road. In fact, I would know that tall form, hunched hilariously at a tiny table, anywhere. Maybe I’m not completely alone, then.
My lips twitch into a smile. I haven’t seen Kyle since we broke up, but it somehow doesn’t surprise me to know that he’s also on protective detail. And he calls me stubborn.
I lean against the window. Part of me wants him to look up and see me, to meet his eyes once more. I’ve missed him more than I want to admit to. I keep looking over the messages he sent me yesterday, wondering if I replied in the right way. Even now, every part of me wants to go down to that café and tell him how much I want him.
Then I remember the card. I close my eyes and lean my forehead against the window, the glass cool against my skin. Jesse is still out there, after all. He’s only been staying away because Kyle’s friends are chasing him off, but he would probably become determined enough to break through that if he noticed me hanging around the biker again.
I’m not going to take that risk until Jesse is out of our lives.
I haven’t heard much from the police. I had a call from Bryant yesterday morning, but all he could tell me was that they were still investigating, sounding tired and fed up with it all. Meanwhile, I’m having an ongoing argument with my landlord, who is pissed off about being forced to shell out the money for security cameras, and, as such, is dragging his feet about fixing my door.
Well, more fool him. Jacqui and I have applied for a few different apartments, even if they’re slightly more expensive than what I’m paying now, and I’ve already had an offer to come and look at one of them. I’ll be moving before long, and then he’ll have to fix the door if he wants to rent the room to another tenant.
I open my eyes with a yawn and then I see movement. It’s Kyle. He’s standing, dragging his jacket off the back of the chair, and heading to the counter. I squint, ducking my head down a little, but I can’t see him anymore. Then he strides out the door and I duck to the side as his eyes scan the apartment. Is he looking for me? Making sure there aren’t any threats?
I watch him shake his head. And then he stuffs his hands into his pocket and walks away.
I watch him go. His shoulders are slumped, and my heart clenches at how dejected he looks. Did I do this to him? I keep my eyes on him until he disappears around the corner and I sigh.
I’m not sure where he’s going and, selfishly, I feel a little lonely now that I know he’s gone. I also feel exasperated; he really is a fool. He has no idea why I really broke up with him; as far as he knows, I didn’t want a relationship with him. Yet he still comes here day after day, watching out for me while keeping his distance.
I really don’t know what I did to deserve this type of devotion.
With nothing left to keep my attention outside, I push away from the window. Coughing absently (I pretended that I was feeling worse that I am to push Jacqui out the door, but it would be karmic retribution if I did end up really sick), I head to the kitchen and open the fridge, scanning the contents. Since we went shopping last night, there’s plenty to eat and drink, but my stomach still feels oddly tight. Eventually, I close the door and retrieve a glass instead, filling it with water.
The worst thing about all this is the guilt, which piles right on top of the odd loneliness I’ve felt since I last saw Kyle. I hadn’t noticed it at the time, but the way that Kyle treated me was like I was the most precious thing in the world, someone to be taken care of and protected. I had baulked at this, because I don’t need protection; I was taking care of myself long before I ever met Kyle.
But…it was nice. I sip at my water and consider this. Jesse never treated me like that. On the occasions where he was nice to me, I would be lucky if I got a box of chocolates lugged in my direction. Kyle, though, touched me reverently, and looked at me like I hung the moon.
Maybe, one day, I’ll be able to apologize to him for everything I put him through.
I hear the lock click open and I yawn, drawing my blanket tighter around my shoulders. I put my glass down on the sink, turning to the door as it swings open silently.
“T
hat was quick,” I commented, moving toward the door. “Did you get…?”
I trail off. I assumed that it was Jacqui entering the apartment after breaking a few speeding laws to get back her quickly. But it’s not. Instead, Jesse steps inside.
My brain stutters to a halt. Of everything that I could have expected today, it was not Jesse entering my friend’s apartment while I’m here. How did he even get in? My eyes dart down to his hand, which is clenching a set of lock-picking tools.
How long has Jesse been able to pick locks? I raise my eyes slowly to meet his, incredulous. Did I even know this man, despite dating him for two years?
“Thought you were clever?” Jesse asks, and there’s a smirk I’ve never seen before curving at his lips. “Thought you’d chased me away?”
I should feign innocence; I’m not supposed to know about the men guarding me, considering the lengths they go to, to stay out of my sight. But I’m too stunned to do anything other than stare. Jesse steps fully into the apartment and slams the door closed.
The sound is what finally snaps me from my stupor.
“Jesse!” I exclaim. Shit, where’s my phone? “What are you doing here?”
Jesse snorts. “Not that it was hard to find you. There’s only one place you’d run to when you couldn’t stay at your place.”
I take a step back. My phone isn’t in my pocket. Where is it? Finally, with a sinking heart, I see it on the coffee table in front of the lounge; I left it there when I got up. There’s no way for me to get it without Jesse noticing.
Jacqui is gone because I pushed her out the door.