He took a deep breath. “Okay. I understand. Can I call you in the morning?”
She looked up, her blue eyes full of sadness as she gave him a small smile. “Sure. I’d like that.”
He leaned down and kissed her, just a quick kiss on the lips. He didn’t want her to think he was trying to pressure her.
“Take care of yourself and call me any time if you need something tonight. I’ll be here in a flash,” he promised.
“Good night,” she mumbled and closed the door.
He stood there listening as each of the locks was put into place. It wasn’t exactly how he saw his night going. He slowly walked back down the stairs, his earlier excitement evaporated into the cool night air as he made his way back to his car. Once inside, he stared up at the window of her condo. The blinds were pulled, and he could tell there was only one lamp on.
Was she sitting in the dark alone?
He backtracked through the day and tried to figure out where things had gone wrong. She’d been okay on the phone, but he could tell then she was a little distracted. He chalked it up to her being busy at home. She said she’d been doing laundry. When they talked earlier, he got the feeling she was in a hurry to get off the phone. She had insisted then that everything was okay, but now, he knew that wasn’t true at all.
Something was off. His first instinct was to blame Tim. She would have told him if Tim had shown up, of that he was certain. It wasn’t that.
“Go home, Ben,” he muttered to himself before starting the engine and putting the Rover into dri
ve.
The drive home gave him too much time to think. He’d nearly turned around three times and gone back to her place, demanding she tell him what was bothering her but managed to stop himself in the nick of time. He had no right to demand she tell him anything.
“Take it slow,” he said again, pulling in his driveway and parking his car right outside the front door in case she happened to call and ask him to come back. He wanted to be ready.
Once inside his big house, he found himself pouting as he yanked open the fridge to find something worth eating. Nothing looked good. In the back of his mind, he could hear his conscience lecturing him about allowing himself to be the one who felt slighted. This wasn’t about him. It was about her and what she was dealing with. She’d been through a lot and he had to keep that in mind.
It was hard to remember her past when she acted like she had this morning. She’d been happy and carefree and excited about the job. That was the side of her he wanted to see more often. It was one of those two steps forward and one step back situations except he felt like they’d taken three giant steps backward. She had acted like she had the first couple times they had met. She was pushing him away.
He settled on some frozen casserole and popped it in the microwave while headed for his room to change into something more comfortable. With his sweats and t-shirt on, he grabbed his meal from the microwave and headed for the living room. He was going to drown his sorrows in food and TV. As he flipped through the channels in his usual surfing way, he stumbled across the cooking show she loved.
He smiled thinking about her and how enthralled she’d been with the competition. He turned up the volume and did his best to focus on the show. Katherine had quirks, there was no doubt about it. He’d already decided long ago he was okay with her quirks as long as he could be a part of her life. She was still working through some stuff and as much as he wanted to make it all better for her, there were going to be times when she needed the space to handle her own business. He could do that for her.
After a couple hours in front of the television and no word from Katherine, he accepted the fact she wasn’t going to change her mind. She wasn’t going to call him and ask him to come over. He was going to bed alone.
Chapter Nine
Katherine
HER HEART HURT. SHE hated sending Ben away when all she really wanted to do was get lost in the safety and comfort of his arms. He was solid as a rock and never seemed to get angry with her. She knew she was a pain in the ass. Canceling on him at the last minute was inexcusable. She kept trying to work up the strength to go out with him but couldn’t bring herself to do it.
She couldn’t lie to his face and that was exactly what she would have to do if she had to spend any time with him. He deserved an explanation. She couldn’t do it. She grabbed another pair of jeans and shoved them into her suitcase that was already too full, tears streamed down her face as she did so. Life was never easy.
“You can’t take it all, Katherine,” she mumbled to herself as she tried like hell to do just that.
She’d refrained from buying a lot of clothes. With her lifestyle, the goal was to pack as quickly as possible and to fit as much into a single suitcase as possible. With one last longing look at her closet still stuffed with dresses and heels, she closed the door. Maybe she could come back one day and pick up the rest.
“Yeah, right,” she scoffed, knowing that was extremely unlikely and far too dangerous. Tim was making damn sure she never got the chance to be happy. She wouldn’t be able to come back for a visit. If she did, Tim would go out of his way to attack the people she had come to care about. The best thing to do was get away from them and keep from bringing anymore turmoil into their lives.
Dragging her suitcase behind her, she set it in the living room, glancing around the conservative space, trying to figure out what else to take. Her eyes landed on the flowers she had tossed on the table. They deserved to be in a vase, even if she wouldn’t get the luxury of enjoying them. She rummaged around in her sparse cupboards and realized she didn’t have a vase. There was a nearly-empty jar of pickles in the fridge. She tossed out the last remaining pickles, washed out the jar and stuffed the stems of the bouquet inside the jar, filling it with water.
It wasn’t pretty, but the flowers were all that mattered. She put the jar in the center of the table and smiled. She was going to truly miss Ben. He was an amazing man. She hoped he would forgive her one day for running out on him, but it was for the best. She would drag him down if she stuck around. Tim wasn’t going to sign the papers and fade into the background. He was going to be front and center in her life for the rest of her life.
She checked the clock on the microwave. It was after nine. It was time to go. She grabbed her purse and her suitcase before walking to the door. She stopped, remembering the cell phone in her purse. She couldn’t take it with her. She quickly swiped through the pictures of Ben, smiling as she remembered every moment the pictures had been taken. She closed her eyes, committing the pictures and the memories they held to memory before powering it off and leaving it on the kitchen counter. Tim couldn’t stalk her if he couldn’t find her. It was a mistake she’d learned the hard way. The cell was too easy to track. It also meant leaving Ben and Talia behind in every way, but it was for the best she told herself.
She took one last look at the place she’d been calling home the last few months and headed for the door, her heart heavy. Once again, she was on the run after a single text message. It was bullshit that Tim had so much power over her. It made her feel helpless in one way, but powerful in another. By leaving Ben, she would draw Tim away. If Tim did what he always did, he would chase her and leave Ben alone. That gave her the power in one small way.
She locked the door behind her and carried her suitcase down the stairs before walking to the street and hailing a cab. As the cab drove away, she had to put forth a strong effort not to look back. Looking back didn’t do any good. It only made her sad and miserable. It was always looking ahead, getting ready for the next adventure.