“Almost two-years now. Wow, I hadn’t even realized I was coming up on another anniversary,” she paused, excited about the upcoming milestone.
“We’ll have to celebrate,” Katherine teased.
“No, really. We always celebrate everyone’s anniversary—and birthdays!” She happily clapped her hands together like a child.
“No way,” Katherine said, reaching for the third bottle of wine as she filled up both glasses.
“You’re going to turn this into a slumber party if you don’t slow down with that wine,” Talia huffed.
“You can’t walk home alone his late anyway,” Katherine sobered up, her fear coming to the forefront regardless of her alcohol intake.
Walking alone was one of her greatest fears, but walking alone in the dark was the worst of the worst. Whenever she had the opportunity to walk with a friend, she would. And there was no way she could begin to imagine allowing Talia to walk home alone in the middle of the night after drinking so much wine.
Talia tilted her head, watching Katherine closely as if she were trying to figure something out. Noticing her friend was serious, Talia relaxed her shoulders, moving closer to Katherine before pulling the two barstools up to the small island in the kitchen.
“Okay, Mom, but I’m going to need to know why you’re so overly protective,” she smiled, sipping her wine.
“What do you mean?” Katherine asked, instantly defensive.
Of course she knew how ridiculous her routines and ways were, but because she went out of her way to hide her safety precautions, she thought no one knew. Talia had exposed the fact that she wasn’t doing the best job at pretending everything was okay. In fact, it only took a stranger a few days to put the pieces together that Katherine was worried about something, although her true secret—Tim—had remained hidden.
“You know what I mean. And I don’t want you to think you have
to tell me your life story, because you don’t. It’s just—well, I can tell there’s something bothering you. It’s like a heavy cloud following you around. I saw it the first time you walked in the bakery, and I’ve been dying to help you ever since.”
“Help me?” Katherine repeated the words, confused. How did Talia think she could possibly help her? Although she doubted her new friend would actually be able to help, the fact that she volunteered before even learning what kind of trouble she was in made her feel trustworthy.
“You know, lighten the load. My mom used to be able to spot when something was troubling me. And I mean, she was good. It didn’t matter how hard I tried to hide it or pretend I as okay, she would know. She would ask if she could help carry the burden that was weighing me down, saying it would be lighter if we both took part of the load. I wanted to do that for you. Hell, I still do. But only if you’d like that. It can be hard keeping too much bottled in,” Talia reasoned, her eyes soft and caring.
Katherine was shocked by Talia’s boldness. Not only did she know something was troubling her, but she wanted to address it and find a way to help. The wine was swirling in Katherine’s belly at a dangerous speed as her nerves began to get the best of her.
She had never even come close to telling anyone about what happened with her and Tim, afraid of who they would tell or how they would look at her. The idea that she was a battered woman still bothered Katherine. She hated to think of herself as a victim, but Talia had made a good point.
It could do Katherine no good to carry around all of the guilt and shame in addition to trying to stay away from the lunatic she had married. Everything about her life felt controlled, and every day the walls seemed to close in a little tighter. Could telling Talia relieve some of the pressure she was constantly living with? Katherine was silent as she tried to answer these questions for herself.
After a long pause, Katherine spoke. “What do you want to know?”
Talia thought for a few seconds and then said, “Why were you so cold to the man at Hendrick’s?”
“The man at Hendrick’s?” Katherine asked, taken aback by her question. It was the last thing she was expecting Talia to want to know about.
“Yeah, he was super cute and nice, but you wouldn’t even look at him. When I spotted you across the market, I thought you were in trouble. I don’t know how to explain it. It was like all the blood had left your face. You were scared of something and I darted through the deli to get by your side. I just wondered what could bring you that much fear,” Talia spoke carefully, choosing her words deliberately as she looked directly into Katherine’s eyes.
It was obvious she was genuinely concerned, and that wasn’t something Katherine was used to. Lonesome was Katherine’s normal—carrying her burdens and baggage alone was something she was used to. Asking for help had never been her forte, but now with help being offered in such a genuine and thoughtful way, she felt like it was a blessing she couldn’t turn away.
Talia had proven to be kind and safe. She was the first person Katherine had invited into her apartment, and so far she wasn’t regretting it. Since she had arrived in San Francisco, Katherine had been praying for the day she would feel comfortable and safe in her new home. Now, she had a friend offering her a level of comfort that she hadn’t experienced since before she was married.
“Okay.” It was one word, but it meant so much. Katherine was agreeing to finally tell the story she had bottled up for years. It was time, and she was ready. “If this becomes too much for you, feel free to stop me at any time.”
Intrigued by her warning, Talia scooted closer, taking a sip of her wine as she peeked over the brim of the glass, not wanting to miss a thing. Katherine took a deep breath and large swig of her wine before beginning what she knew would be a difficult story to tell.
“I was in an abusive marriage. Well, it wasn’t always that way. At least I like to think it wasn’t. My husband, Tim, was always very controlling, but I thought it was more a personality trait than a flaw. He had to be in charge of everything—where we went to eat, who we could have over the house, how often I could hang out with friends—you know, stuff like that.” Katherine paused to search Talia’s eyes for the disgust she thought would be there.
But Talia was listening closely, her eyes filled with an emotion she wasn’t expecting. If she was reading her right, it felt like Talia was empathizing with her, and it was the confidence Katherine needed to continue.
“He was always so busy at work, I thought his outbursts were because of the stress he was under. First, it was over little things, like how short I cut my hair. I thought it was cute that he was so invested, always with an opinion about how I should style my hair. Then, things got more intense, and he wanted to control every part of my life. When I look back on it, I see that a glaring red flag I missed was when he forced me to give up my career.
“I was on my way to a promotion I’d been working years for. Tim thought I should take some time off to start a family, but I had never wanted to be a stay at home mom. Even if we did start a family, I wanted to be a working mother. That wasn’t acceptable for Tim, so he bought the company I worked for and discontinued my entire department.”