“Approaching you the way I did last night was wrong. Tugging you into my lap and treating you like some sort of toy was wrong. But nothing I said was a lie.”
Her cheeks blushed furiously as she managed to pick her fork back up.
“The kiss was intense,” she said.
“Very. But that doesn’t change our predicament. I’m leaving soon. In a few days, actually. I have things to get back to, and the last thing either of us needs is to delve into something that we know is sure to end.”
Hurt crawled across her features and punched me squarely in the gut. But almost immediately, her face blanked. Her features fell. Her eyes became caged, like she was shutting me out. And it sucked. It really did. Because I’d come to enjoy the vibrancy of her big green eyes. But I also knew I was right. I had five days, maybe, left in this place. Then I was gone. Back to Napa Valley to secure the deal of a lifetime and elevate myself to a status most men would never achieve. And she would be here, searching for whatever life it was she was looking for.
“I get it,” she said, as she nodded. “And anyway, we are both grieving. That, in and of itself, makes people react in strange ways. Maybe all we were doing was looking for a certain type of closeness in the absence of our good friend.”
“Sounds about right,” I said.
Though I knew it was a lie. There was something more between us. Something unexpected and passionate. The heat that passed between us whenever we were close. The looks she gave me when she thought I wasn’t looking. My inability to keep my thoughts—or my cock—at bay around her. No matter the circumstance, I would’ve been attracted to Michelle. That dark mahogany hair falling around those bright emerald eyes. I would’ve lusted after her no matter what. With the smile of a blossoming young girl and the curves of a woman, I wouldn’t have resisted sweeping her off her feet, taking her back to my sprawling estate, and fucking her along every surface for the entire weekend.
Hell, the entire week.
But that didn’t change anything. It didn’t change the fact that her life was here and mine wasn’t. It didn’t change the fact that I had a deadline before getting out of this shithole and she apparently wanted to stay. And there was a part of me that was disgusted with that. How could I be attracted to anyone who wanted to stay in this place? And yet, I was. I was pulled towards this woman and curious about her. I knew there was more to her story. She had too much fight, too much fire, and too much hope in her voice to settle for a deserted, disastrous town like Stillsville.
I knew better than to get physically involved with her.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t try to figure her out while I was there. After all, Anton had seen something in her. Something that needed his care. She and I had that in common. We were both taken in by a wonderful, caring man. Which meant there was something going on with her that she wasn’t telling. Wasn’t divulging. Wasn’t explaining. Maybe she had it locked away like I did. Maybe she didn’t talk to strangers like I did. But that wouldn’t stop me from prodding, from asking.
Even though my time in Stillsville was stunted, it wouldn’t stop me from getting to know this bountiful beauty before me.
Chapter 14
Michelle
I took my time finishing breakfast, painfully aware of the way Gray looked at me. He kept his eyes trained on me for long moments at a time, though his gaze looked far off. Distant. Like he was seeing me, but not taking me in. I wanted to know what he was thinking. What he was feeling. But then again, I didn’t. His brunch meal was fabulous. It took all I had not to moan and praise him over it. Last night still stuck out in my mind, but his admission slapped me across the face.
He was attracted to me?
He wanted me?
I understood his reasoning. His want to keep his distance. And it seemed as if we’d reached some sort of agreement to not give into our attraction. But I didn’t like that. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to have to restrain myself with him. That kiss freed something within my gut. Shot electricity through my veins that I wanted to feel again. But I knew all too quickly how a lust could become an unhealthy attachment, and Gray did have a point there.
He’d be leaving in a few days and I would still be here.
And honestly? I would be leaving, too. If I couldn’t find a job—and it looked more and more like I wouldn’t—then I’d be leaving as well. Headed back to North Dakota. Back to an oil town where my mother would get to say things like ‘I told you so’ and ‘guess you’re really not better than the rest of us.’ Back to a life I hated, but a job I could resume. At least, I thought I’d be able to. I didn’t know anymore. I wasn’t that sure of anything. Pretty much everything was on wobbling stilts, and the foundation I thought I’d planted had been swallowed up by the gaping hole I was being dangled over.
The least I could do was accept the inevitable and start planning my future.
A shitty as my prospects were, I did have the option of going back to school. I’d only gotten my degree two years ago, so the credits were still transferable. I could go to college and get a four-year degree. I’d always wanted to teach. To educate. I could enroll in a teaching program at one of the local colleges. I’d have to take out loans, but I could probably find some financial need based scholarships, too. I graduated with a 3.2 GPA, which should be decent enough to find me something.
That was a plan.
Another option was trying to get some of my old jobs back. I could take the money I had in my duffel bag and use it to buy a used laptop to get back to medical transcription. I hated that damn job, but it had covered my bills nicely. And if I could hook myself up with one of the hospitals in the area, instead of spending my time in seedy bars fucking dead-end guitar players, I could really bloom that into something.
That was another option.
“Are you busy for the next couple of days?”
Gray’s voice ripped me from my trance as I chewed up the last of my crepe.
So good.
“I’m going to be on the road distributing Anton’s possessions, and it’s a huge job. I’ll need someone to help me go through everything and to keep it straight as I get it handed off.”