Saying it out loud hurts even more. I didn’t even know it could hurt more. How is that possible?
“What? I’m sorry. What happened?” he asks.
“Please, don’t pretend like this isn’t the best day of your life,” I scoff and remove my arm from his grasp. He has no right to play the “sorry” card on me. He’s been trying to sabotage us from day one. I run outside the gym and into the empty parking lot with a gigantic lump in my throat. As I move away from the building, I want to scream. I want to shout at the top of my lungs, but no sound comes out. A fling? A fling?
I’ll show him a fling by flinging him off a bridge.
I begin to dial Maria’s number but am interrupted by my phone ringing. The caller ID rips my heart out of my rib cage.
Haze Adams is calling.
I press the Reject button, but he calls again two seconds later. We go through the hang up on me, I’ll call right back cycle a few times before I lose my temper and pick up.
“What?” I snap, but I can’t hear his reply.
What I hear instead is the vehicle loudly hitting the brakes behind me. The screech of the tires resonating through the empty parking lot. The swinging of the van door, the pumping of my blood when strong arms close around me, and I drop my phone. I hear someone curse while I fight back. I hear the moans when I kick the stranger where it hurts.
“You fucking bitch.” He grabs my hair and bashes me in the face twice. I can taste the blood on my tongue.
“Hurry up!” a female yells from inside the car.
I hear the sound my body makes when it gets thrown in the back of the van, and I curse myself for falling for the wrong boy. I hear the roar of the engine when it takes off. I hear a lot of things… but the sound that sticks with me is her voice. The high-pitched voice I’d recognize anywhere, even with my eyes closed, even in the dark, even when I’m passing out because of yet another stranger. I hear it over and over…
That voice belongs to Bianca.
34
Farewells
Haze
Heading toward the front door with my phone glued to my ear, I recall the conversation I just ruined and think of the thousand smart things I could’ve said instead of “Maybe we were meant to be a fling.” I’m such a fucking idiot.
Why am I such a fucking idiot?
I panicked and the worst reverse psychology of all time came bursting out of my mouth. I didn’t mean it. Not even for a second, but I was so desperate for her to stay I thought maybe… if I scared her, she’d change her mind.
What’s wrong with me?
The fear of watching her get on that plane is changing me. It can make me do the craziest, stupidest things.
Kendrick told me she ran outside. I have to see her and explain why I left in the middle of the conversation. She needs to know that Trevor was there, looking at me from the corner of the room. We’ve been keeping in touch since my guys kicked me out. He’s the one who told me they were going for Winter last week. He even lended me his car when Ryan ruined mine. He’s the reason Winter is okay right now. I knew he wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t important.
He begged me to come back and lead the West side again. He said things are going to shit now that Ryan’s the main. I told him what I told Winter: that I don’t want this life anymore.
I just want her.
But I can’t leave with her. Not yet. There’s so much she doesn’t know.
“Damn it. Pick up!” I mutter to myself, calling her back for the fourth time in a row. She keeps hanging up on me.
“What?” Her voice comes down the other end, and the air returns to my lungs.
“Winter, thank God, where are you? I’m coming to you.”
She doesn’t reply. Noises erupt on the line. Too many to identify. First, the squealing of tires. Then a door being slammed.
“Winter, what’s going on?”