“Yeah, well, maybe I’m hoping you’ll do the same for me when the time comes.” He isn’t smiling anymore. He’s icy. It doesn’t take a genius to understand what he’s talking about.
“Haze, can we just…” I pause. “Not do this tonight?”
“Then when? Tell me. Please. Because I can feel you slipping through my fingers a bit more every day, and it’s driving me insane. Are you really going back?”
I sigh, well aware that the answer he so desperately wants is not one that I can give him.
“I tried today. I really did.” He speaks again. “And it worked. For a second there, I let myself forget that in less than forty-eight hours, the only person who makes me happy will be on a plane taking her miles away from me, but I can’t ignore it anymore, Winter. The happier we are right now, the harder it’s going to be when you leave.”
“If it were you in my shoes, right now. What would you do? If your entire life, your family, your friends were in another country. What would you do?” I reach for his hand.
“I’d stay. Because I love you.” He takes his hand back, his anger eating him whole. He says that now… but he doesn’t fully understand what it means to have a family. People that he can trust. To feel safe. I have that back home.
“Haze, I just… you know where I stand. I’m homesick. I miss being able to sleep at night without wondering if someone’s coming for me. I miss my stepsiblings, my stepdad. I miss my best friend. They matter to me.”
“But I don’t…” he says quietly, like he’s talking to himself, and doesn’t wait for me to tell him how wrong he is. Instead, he reaches over to unbuckle my seat belt, and I stare at him in shock.
“I can’t. I can’t just stand by and wait for you to leave me. I’m sorry.” His words cut me open.
“Haze, please don’t do this. We don’t have much time left,” I beg. “Come inside, we’ll—”
“Have a good night, Winter.” He stretches and opens my car door for me. I can’t believe him. He’s kicking me out.
“Fine, be mad at me. But I love you. More than anything. So when you’re sleeping alone tonight, it’s by choice. I’m not going to apologize for missing my home.”
“Just like I’m not going to apologize for loving mine. My life is here, Winter. Not in some snow-buried country.” Emotions deplete from his voice. He’s shutting me out. The way he always does when things get hard.
“Fine. Then we’re clear.” I close my watery eyes, take a deep breath, and get out of his car without looking back. No one’s home yet.
Kass’s going to Morgan’s birthday party tonight, and everybody was riding with Will, which means the guys have to drop off Alex and Mia on the way back. I hear the roar of Haze’s car echo as it screeches down the street, and it takes everything in me not to fall to my knees right there and cry all the tears my body allows me to. I insert the key into the hole but curse in annoyance when the door opens by itself. Kass must’ve forgotten to lock up again. I enter the house and drop my stuff on the counter.
“Hello, Winter.”
I jump and look up.
He’s right there. The guy who gave me nightmares. He’s casually standing in my kitchen. And the only thing on my mind when he takes a step toward me is the fact that this could’ve all been avoided.
If only I had told the truth…
“Blake?”
33
Prom And Disasters
I’ve regretted fighting with Haze a lot in the past few weeks. I’ve wanted to get a second chance at a conversation and slap some sense into myself way too many times to count. But I’ve never regretted fighting with him as much as I am regretting it right now. Because the row I was in with him… is the reason I find myself alone with a psychopath.
I should’ve told the guys. But I didn’t. Because I wanted this perfect day to last. I wanted us to be careless teenagers. Just once.
“How the hell did you get in here?” I ask, finding the pepper spray in my purse and holding it up to his face. I’ve been cherishing it ever since the Ryan incident.
“Easy!” He puts his hands up in surrender. “The door was open. I was worried someone broke in.”
I scoff at his pathetic excuse. The only intruder in this house is him and he knows it.
“You need to leave, right now.” I try to sound as threatening as I possibly can.
“I’m not here to hurt you, Winter. I promise, I just want to talk.”