Eric’s name flashed on the screen and I was torn: Should I answer it? Or should I let it go to voicemail and let him feel abandoned for a while? I wasn’t really a mean-natured person so I veered toward answering but then again, he shouldn’t have broken up with me in such a “hasty” way, so… I decided I’d let him wonder.
I hit ignore on the phone and peeked back up at Dawson. A barely-there smile crept onto his face.
“So… tacos and movies?” he asked, and my heart all but exploded.
“Just like old times,” I whispered, smiling from ear to ear.
“Lead the way, Ivy-cakes,” he said through a muffled laugh.
A gasp escaped my mouth. I reached up and smacked him in the arm. “Shut up!”
Walking out the door to his house, grabbing our shoes and still laughing, he said, “Seriously? How could you let him call you that! Ivy-cakes? I almost died when I heard Mia say that earlier. Fucking Ivy-cakes.”
“Says the guy who’s dating Breanna…” I rolled my eyes and he nudged me back.
A playfulness fell over the both of us as smiles almost engraved themselves onto our faces. I couldn’t help but notice just how much I relished this easy moment with him.
I also couldn’t help but notice just how happy I was. Even if every ounce of happiness I’d felt in the last six years were all smooshed together, it still wouldn’t even come close to how I felt right now. Like every single time I’d thought I was happy, I hadn’t really been.
But right now, I was truly happy…and I wasn’t sure if that was going to bite me in the ass or not.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dawson
I should be given an award for last night.
A medal? A trophy? A marking of some sort.
I kept my hands off Ivy, all night long, with her sitting beside me on my couch. Her little feet, curled up underneath her body, a cotton blanket covering her lower half. She was so adorable and beautiful, even more so when she’d laugh at the movie we’d picked out.
She wanted Charlie’s Angels; I told her no.
I couldn’t believe that she was still obsessed with that movie, and she couldn’t believe that I hadn’t watched it once since she left.
I didn’t tell her the actual reason as to why I hadn’t watched it. It made me angry and a little envious for that last moment with her. The night her parents died was the last time I watched it (well, part of it…the other part I’d spent staring at her sleeping on my bed and then ended the night with a life-shattering kiss).
We spent most of last night talking and laughing at older movies, and it was honestly one of the best nights of my life. Which sounds so fucking lame, considering all we did was sit in my living room, not touching, staring at a TV screen, but that’s how it’d always been with her.
Back when we were teenagers, we’d drive around in my Camaro for hours, doing nothing but listening to music and slurping on milkshakes, and it was honestly more fun than anything else I could have been doing. Time spent with Ivy had always been fulfilling.
It didn’t matter what we were doing. I could sit on my couch with her, every single night, for the rest of my life and be happy with it.
I’d probably have the biggest case of blue balls in the world, but I would rather sit with her, not touching, than be with someone else, buried in between their legs.
Which brings me to my next rant: Breanna.
The realization came over me quick and hard after the whole crushing-a-crying-Ivy-to-my-chest moment. I had to break up with Breanna and it wasn’t fully because of Ivy. I mean, there was definitely something going on with us (I hoped, or else I was reading all her signals wrong) but I wasn’t necessarily on the end game with Breanna because I wanted to replace her as quick as possible with Ivy.
Ivy had just made things a little clearer to me.
Breanna and I weren’t in love. Breanna’s and my relationship was based around sex and a poor attempt at being in a committed relationship.
We didn’t go on dates, we didn’t laugh for endless hours on my couch while watching a movie. We barely even cuddled.
I didn’t love her and I wouldn’t love her, not in the way that I should, and how could I stay with her if I didn’t love her?
I was using Breanna to protect myself from ever getting hurt because I knew, very well, that Breanna could never hurt me.