I turned away from her and shot to my feet, brushing off her accusation.
She didn’t let my walking away stop her. “You’re afraid to see him.” Mia crossed her arms across her chest and quipped her eyebrow.
If she keeps prodding me, I’m going to eat all the pizza and give her none.
I rolled my eyes, snatching my phone to call in the pizza. “Pssh. No I’m not.”
She smirked. “Whatever. You cannot lie to me. I know you better than anyone.”
Yeah, so did he at one point.
I blew out a long breath, preparing myself to stay neutral. But even through my attempt to act nonchalant, my words came out all wobbly. “Fine. I’m terrified.”
Mia’s eyebrow lowered and her face softened. “It’ll be fine, Ivy. You two were besties, and then you had to move away. He can’t be upset with you over that. I mean, he has to understand that things were, like… crazy for us. It’s hard to keep in touch when your entire life is spiraling out of control.”
I breathed in and out, nodding my head up and down. I was nervous as shit. It had been a long, long time since I’d seen Dawson. It had been a long, long time since I’d even thought about seeing Dawson. I stopped with the “what ifs” awhile ago, too busy and smothered by life to really sit down and allow myself to wonder how things would pan out whenever we did eventually come face-to-face again. Would he hate me for moving away and never reaching out (minus the time I came to him and he was with Breanna) or would he act as if we were long-lost friends and envelope me into a huge, breath-stealing hug? I wonder what the chances are of it being the latter?
??
Mia didn’t know that I had come back here, to Oak Hill, to see Dawson after everything went down. It was the only thing that I had ever kept from her, which made me feel a little guilty, but it was something that I couldn’t admit out loud for quite some time. It was hard enough telling Becca and having her freak out about it back then. I basically just wanted to hide under a rock, and never come out. It’s a memory I’d been burying deeper and deeper, each time it tried to resurface.
Thankfully, Eric helped keep those thoughts of Dawson and our friendship – our short-lived kissing episode – buried. I probably wouldn’t admit it to him, but I would consider Eric to be a sort of rebound, if that could even be a thing since Dawson was never actually my boyfriend. But Eric did help me. He kind of helped me feel alive again, and to be honest, he was a good boyfriend and I truly did care about him…until I learned his true colors. I was still trying to wrap my head around that issue.
I knew that I couldn’t really be angry with Dawson just because I’d seen him with Breanna after my parents died. It didn’t give me the right to hold a grudge against him, even if at the time, it destroyed me. It hurt me so deeply that I couldn’t even grasp the idea of it.
And I hated admitting it, but every time I was brought back to that memory, it cut me all over again.
I sighed, finally coming up with a response to my sister. “Yeah. I just wish I knew a little more of what I was walking into.”
“I know,” she huffed, re-crossing her arms. “It’s so annoying that he doesn’t have a Facebook. Emmett does, but there’s nothing really about his family on there.” She tipped her head thoughtfully, staring at the ceiling. “Weird.”
I knew that Dawson didn’t have a Facebook and I also knew that Emmett didn’t have any pictures of him on there. I looked, quite frequently.
Sounding hopeful, I said, “Well, maybe I won’t run into him. Maybe he doesn’t even live here anymore.”
Mia snickered, walking over to the kitchen to start unpacking the few boxes of plates and utensils that I’d obtained before moving here. “You know damn well he does. He took over his dad’s business… or is about to… or something like that.”
My stomach churned realizing that it was inevitable that I would run into him. His father’s company was the only contractor in town, and I needed a lot of work done to my house. More than I could do, and I couldn’t afford to hire someone outside of Oak Hill. I needed the work done and I needed to stay within budget.
I looked up at the popcorn ceiling, biting my lower lip.
Maybe Dawson won’t be surprised to see me… maybe he’ll wrap me up in his strong arms and welcome me back like I was still his best friend. Maybe he won’t even recognize me and we can both pretend we weren’t totally consumed by the other at one point and time.
That’s what I’ll keep telling myself.
Chapter Ten
Dawson
I fucking loathed my computerized schedule every time the stupid red circle appeared. The red circle meant I had a business meeting to attend, usually to discuss blueprints and costs with a client, which was fine, except it meant that I had to change out of my normal attire and layer on slacks and a dress shirt. I despised it. I was having to take these meetings more and more lately, due to my father’s impending retirement. My days of working alongside the construction crew were numbered and my days attending business meetings increased by the week.
Like I said, I didn’t mind meeting with clients; what I minded was having to dress up like I was some business schmuck who didn’t know a fucking wrench from a hammer. Which I did. If I was being honest, I would work alongside the crew for the rest of my life rather than take over the “business” side of the company.
My mother insisted that I get a few good shirts and slacks to wear to these meetings. She had said the same thing to my father when they’d gotten married. If it were up to him and me, we’d both wear jeans and a construction t-shirt, maybe even paired with a dirty hard hat.
Voilà. Perfect.
I almost snickered at the thought of what my mother would say if I told her I was going to a meeting dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. She would probably fall over. Then I actually did snicker at the thought of what Breanna would say if I told her the same thing. She would gasp dramatically and cover her mouth with her dainty, manicured hand.