None at all.
My eyes watered as I bent over the toilet and threw up. I coughed and sputtered, clawing at my lungs to let air in.
What if he was still out there?
I shook my head. He couldn’t get to me. This wasn’t my dark bedroom in the middle of the night. There were lights and a wide-open room with lots of eyes.
Suddenly, the stall began to feel very claustrophobic. My hand messed with the lock a few times before it finally swung open, and I fell to my knees on the hard tile, trying to get away from the small space.
“Madeline!”
“Oh my God. Are you okay?”
I flew to my butt, my palms landing on the floor behind me. My body shook again, trembling in a way that I couldn’t seem to get a handle on.
Oh my God. Why can’t I stop shaking?
Piper’s face was a mix between worry and pity as she glanced at Hayley. “She’s as white as a ghost.”
“Get a wet paper towel.” Hayley bent down and grabbed my chin gently. “Hey, take a breath, Madeline. It’s okay.”
I shook my head. I can’t breathe.
Bile coated my tongue, and my hands went around my throat as I rubbed up and down. I gasped as more tears clouded my vision.
“Look at me.” I locked onto Hayley’s face as something cold hit my forehead. Piper shushed me, and I realized right then how lucky they were to have each other. To have a best friend. “Tell me what you see, Madeline. What do you see?”
You…being too nice to me.
“Nice,” I choked out.
Her brow furrowed as she brushed her dark hair away. “What do you feel? Touch something. Bring yourself back down to the ground.”
I shot my hand up and touched the coldness on my forehead. It was the wet paper towel from Piper. It was comforting. “Cold. Wet.”
“Good,” Hayley encouraged. “That’s good. What do you smell?”
“Puke.”
Hayley smiled behind a laugh as Piper went behind her and flushed the toilet.
“There you go,” she said, putting her hands on mine. “Just take deep breaths.”
I nodded, feeling comforted that my chest was rising and falling again. Breathing was getting easier. My state of panic was lessening.
“You’re good at that,” Piper whispered, coming behind Hayley.
“Christian and Ollie helped me through a panic attack once. I remembered what they did.”
All three of us stayed huddled for a few minutes, breathing together like we were taking a meditation class. Deep breaths in, deep breaths out.
I couldn’t even wrap my head around the situation I was in. Hayley and Piper were in the bathroom with me, helping me, being nice to me, and I didn’t even have the energy to care that they were seeing me like this.
In fact, I almost wanted to cling onto them.
Wait.
“Where’s Eric?” I asked, getting to my feet with the help of Piper.