Mandy stared back blankly, and Jaz wasn’t much better. Neither of her friends played poker. They didn’t even play cards. Unlike June, who came from a family of little old ladies. Not really. But they played cards like they were going out of style. Every single time the family got together, it was pretty much a guarantee that there was going to be a tournament of some kind started up. Usually it wasn’t poker. That was something she’d learned and enjoyed on her own. Most likely it would be Crib or Bridge or Kaiser.
“Uh- so this guy…” June pushed on, aware that her friends were hanging on her every word. “He made this bet with me. If I lost, I had to marry him.”
“What?” Jaz screeched.
“Yeah, who on earth would say that?” Mandy spat. “Is this guy crazy?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. All I know is that I must have lost. We have the marriage certificate to prove it’s legit. I woke up next to him this morning. Here’s the kicker. He blacked out too. So, neither of us really remember what happened last night.”
Silence. Utter silence. Her friends sat, mouths hanging open, eyes wide. Finally, Jasmine recovered.
“So- what are you going to do? Get a divorce?”
“Wait!” Mandy startled them both with her eager exclamation. June set a hand over her racing heart and Mandy smiled guiltily. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out so loud. I- well- what does he look like? Your new husband? Is he hot?”
June groaned. “You have no idea.”
“Oooohhhh!” Jaz let out an excited squeal. She gripped June’s hand in both of hers like a death vice. June nearly whimpered as her fingers were squashed into an unrecognizable shape. “Is he- what does he look like? You have to tell us!”
Great. I shouldn’t have said anything. “He’s- good looking. Ashy blonde hair. Smoldering dark midnight eyes. Jacked.” Mandy nearly hyperventilated on the edge of the bed. “Don’t make me have to get you a paper bag,” June threatened. “So what if he’s good looking?” So what if I apparently had amazing, steamy sex with him last night. Twice. So what if he ripped my dress to shreds. So what if he’s probably a god in bed. She shifted uncomfortably, suddenly aware that she was sore. She’d been trying to ignore that fact all morning and since she’d had much bigger things to worry about, it hadn’t exactly dawned on her yet. Apparently, he was also packing. Her face flushed hot, but her friends were so worked up, they didn’t comment on it.
“Oh. My. God!” Jasmine slapped a hand over her mouth. “This could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“What are you talking about?” June had the feeling she didn’t exactly want to know.
“I mean, you got married to a guy who sounds like a god. He’s probably super dreamy. Sexy. If you had a few photos of you guys together… that would make Rob and your other ex’s, Damien and Steven, those cheating bastards- that would show them! You’re with a real man now, not scum like them.”
“Oh god.” June rubbed at her eyes. She suddenly felt very tired and very hungover again. The beginnings of a killer headache pounded at her temples. “I am certainly not going to do anything like that. For one, I hate social media. For two, I have them all blocked since I don’t want my ex’s creeping me. I don’t know what I was thinking last night. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe I did want to get a little dose of revenge. Maybe he was just hot. I have no idea. Whatever it was, it was a bad decision.” She slammed her eyes shut. “And it gets worse.”
“How can it get worse? Is he a pervert or something?” Mandy asked.
June giggled. She couldn’t help it. She opened her eyes and dropped her hands into her lap and laughed so hard that her shoulders shook, and her stomach ached. Her two friends, who probably thought she’d taken that final plunge off the deep end, laughed along with her, nervously, but they laughed. God, they always had her back. She couldn’t imagine her mother’s reaction to her news. Mandy and Jaz had nothing on the scream fest that would have gone down. She laughed harder just thinking about it.
“Okay…” Jaz said, obviously uncertain. “You might have to tell us what the worse part of this is because I can’t really see how it could get any more complicated.”
“We’re getting a divorce. Or an annulment. Let me just say that. I know it’s going to happen. But…”
“Oh no. Not a ‘but.’”
“‘Buts’ are the worst.”
“Yeah. Tell me about it.”
June rolled her eyes while Jaz and Mandy leaned forward. The TV started up with a whole run of commercials in the background, but none of them tuned into it, though they were blaring. Why were the ads always so much louder than the program? Her mom used to complain about that all the time. She’d scream at June’s dad to turn it down when the commercials came on. Every. Single. Time. June’s dad never did get trained into grabbing for the remote and muting the annoying ads. Or maybe he did it just to piss her mom off. There was a distinct possibility, that after three decades of marriage, though it hadn’t been that long when she was a kid of course, he got some sick pleasure out of it.