I felt raw too. The horrible admission of my doubts about my father had ravaged my heart, making me question everything I knew about my upbringing, my identity. For so long, I’d carried my guilt over my mom’s death, thinking I could’ve run back into the fire to save her.
But if it was my father’s fault, if he had ties to the Bratva that’d made Max’s Mafia family come for retribution…
I fisted my fingers in Max’s curls, pulling him impossibly closer. My lips parted, and my tongue tangled with his. I allowed his heat, his touch, and his scent to engulf me. To consume all my senses until there was no room in my heart for doubt or anguish. My life was crumbling around me, but he was solid. Strong.
And he clung on to me like I was his lifeline. In his world of cruelty and violence, I was his safe harbor. I poured all my compassion for him into our kiss, proving to him that I could be strong enough to protect his heart, just as he kept me safe from the dangers that’d come for me.
We held each other for a long time, finding solace in one another. The kiss was tender rather than rough with passion, so sweet that it made my heart ache. Eventually, he eased back and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear, his touch almost worshipful.
“I need to go meet with my family.” His eyes flashed, and his jaw firmed. “I’m going to make sure that they’ll never threaten you again.”
Anxiety knotted my stomach. The last time he’d left me to see his family, he’d broken my heart when he returned to me.
“Don’t worry.” He brushed one last kiss over my mouth. “Everything will be okay. I promised to protect you, and I will. I’ll make this right.”
“Okay,” I breathed. “I…trust you.”
I stumbled over the words, barely catching the ones I’d wanted to say.
The truth hit me square in the chest: I loved Max Ferrara.
MAX
Dread weighed down my feet with each step toward my father’s study, and sweat beaded on the back of my neck. My fists clenched at my sides. I hated this fear, this weakness.
When I was with Allie, I felt strong. Whole. She looked at me and saw me, not a twisted monster.
In truth, I wasn’t sure if I even recognized the man she saw. I desperately wanted to be that man. To be worthy of her.
I straightened my shoulders and forced my body to continue to walk down the seemingly mile-long corridor. My father waited for me behind that heavy oak door, like a spider in his web. I’d texted him to tell him I wanted to meet, and he’d intentionally chosen the room that made all my senses turn against me. The trauma of the fire had embedded fear deep in my psyche, and I couldn’t shake the nearly debilitating physical symptoms of mortal terror.
I’d thought I might die that day. And after I’d woken up and seen my hideous face, I’d wished he’d killed me.
The old Max had died in the fire: the useless, entitled kid who treated life like a never-ending party. Whiskey, blow, and sex were a hell of a distraction from the nightmares of my mother’s murder that’d haunted me. I’d been a coward then, hiding from my demons by seeking fleeting highs.
Now, I accepted my sins. My failings.
My shame.
After tonight, I’d erase that shame. I would earn my father’s respect, and I would protect Allie in the process. It was a perfect plan. The only plan that would keep her safe from my sadistic cousins.
The door loomed before me, and my fingers trembled slightly when I raised my fist to knock.
“Enter.” My father’s deep voice shuddered down my spine, and the brass doorknob seemed to singe my palm.
I forced myself to cross the threshold and meet my father’s cold back eyes. His weathered face was unreadable, hard features set into stony planes. He leaned back in his burgundy leather armchair, a whiskey glass hanging casually from his fingers. The lit fire—too hot on a summer’s night—caught in the facets of the cut crystal, magnifying the flames that I desperately wanted to ignore.
The ruined skin on my brow crawled, and fear tingled down my spine, a primal survival instinct warning me to fight or flight.
Neither was an option. Not if I was going to protect Allie.
I filled my mind with her sparkling peridot eyes in an attempt to block out the fire at the edge of my vision. The burning wood crackled, and I tensed. My father’s head tipped back on a sneer.
I hated that I swallowed hard to suppress the urge to vomit. His mouth twitched with contempt at my small show of weakness.
“What do you want, Maximus?” he drawled.
“It’s good to see you, Max.” I blinked, jerking my attention away from the threat before me. I’d been so focused on him that I hadn’t even noticed my grandfather seated in the chair opposite him.