“Huh,” Paul said. “Well, maybe he meant something else.”
“Like what!”
“I have no idea. But even if he didn’t, isn’t this better? It means he won’t be surprised when he sees us.”
“I thought that was the whole point of going undercover?” Vince asked. “I had this whole backstory already made up. I was going to be a conquistador.”
“You can still be that if you want,” Paul said.
“Yeah?” Vince asked, that familiar aggressive look coming back on his face. “You wanna be my beloved where your father is a mafioso who wants nothing more than to keep us apart? I warn you, there’s going to be a lot of random face slapping and mustaches. I might even have an evil twin named Vance.”
“Yeah?” Paul said, starting to pant. “Is Vance going to try and woo me away from you?”
“He can try,” Vince growled. “But then I’ll kill him and we’ll make sex face on top of his dead body and—”
Have you ever seen a person in a corset exit a vehicle in under two seconds?
No?
Pity.
I gulped in the hot night air, wondering if it was possible for me to run all the way home. But since I didn’t really know where we were and running was fucking awful, I decided against it. I glanced back at the car in fear, wondering if I was going to see Paul’s pale bare ass pressed against the window. Thankfully, he and Vince were just eating each other’s faces. You had to take what you could get.
I looked toward the other end of the parking lot. There was a line already forming along the front of the nondescript building on the corner. Above it was a sign. It didn’t have any words on it. Instead there was a fluffy teddy bear with an eye patch, a harness, and a leather cap tilted on its head. It had a cigar sticking out of its bared teeth. I had never seen a teddy bear leer before. It was quite eye-opening.
The car doors opened, and Paul gasped as he climbed out, his lips swollen, his face splotchy. “I’m sorry you had to witness that,” he said, sucking in a deep breath. “We can’t control when it happens.”
I eyed him disdainfully. “Don’t lie to me with your lies.”
Vince looked smug as he walked (read: slinked) around the front of the car. His little shorts didn’t hide much. He was very happy to be here. “I love being married,” he announced.
“Good for you,” I mumbled. “Any chance we can get in the car and go back home and pretend this never happened?”
Paul stopped drooling over Vince’s thighs and looked at me. “Yes.”
That startled me. “Wait, really?”
He shrugged. “If that’s what you want. Sandy has Darren here, and I can text Charlie to let him know we’re bailing. All you need to do is say the word. And if we do go inside and you want to leave at any point, let me know. I don’t think we’d stay late anyway. We all have to work tomorrow.”
I was touched. “Thanks, Paul. I don’t—I don’t know why I’m being stupid.”
“Look at what I’m wearing,” he said, waving a hand in front of him. “And look at Vince. Trust me when I say we’re all being stupid.”
“I’m pretty much naked,” Vince agreed.
Paul walked over to me and put an arm around my shoulders. “I wish I could tell you that it gets easier trying new things when you get older, but I’m in my thirties and this is freaking me the hell out. But I’m doing it because I want to be here for you. So, yes. If you want to leave, we leave. If you want to stay, we stay.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “You’re the best.”
“He really is,” Vince said adoringly.
I steeled myself as Paul pulled away. “Okay. I can do this. We can do this. We can go inside, check it out, and if it’s too much, we run away and go home and pretend this never happened.”
“That sounds like half the things we do,” Paul said. “I approve.”
“Let’s rock out with our jocks out!” Vince crowed.
Paul sighed. “He says that more than I like to think about.”