Paul smacked his socked feet. “Not helping.”
Vince wriggled his toes. “DI Vince Auster on the case.”
“Did he seem all right at your lunch?” Sandy asked me, and I could hear real worry in his voice. “He was fine at the bar, but you know how distracted I get when I’m performing. I don’t know if I missed something.”
“He was fine,” I assured him. “Better than, even. I told you how he and Robert looked together. It was… sweet.”
“Ah, yes,” Sandy said. “I remember now. And don’t think I’ve forgotten that you didn’t tell me that Jeremy was there too.”
Suddenly it was my turn to be stared at. I might have left that little detail out when I told Sandy about the lunch. I shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d found out.
“Jeremy was there?” Paul asked. “Jeremy Jeremy?”
“I think his name is just Jeremy, babe,” Vince said. “That would be stupid if it was Jeremy Jeremy.”
“I love you so goddamn much,” Paul said.
“That’s because I’m your husband,” Vince said.
“It was nothing,” I said quickly. Vince and Paul were starting to get that look in their eyes, the one that meant the honeymoon period was still going strong and things were going to get sticky unless I stopped them. Wheels was in the splash zone, and that was animal abuse. “Just… Charlie and me, and then Robert and Jeremy happened to be in the same place at the same time.”
“Uh-huh,” Sandy said. “It’s just funny to me how you randomly left that little detail out. Imagine my surprise when I had to hear it from Nana.”
“How did she know?” I demanded.
Sandy shrugged. “How does she know all the things she does?”
“She can probably read minds,” Vince said. “I need to learn to shield my thoughts.”
“That shouldn’t be too hard,” Darren said dryly. He yelped when Sandy smacked him on the back of the head.
“Be nice,” Sandy scolded. “Or I won’t eat your ass later.”
“Gross,” Paul and I said at the same time.
Darren looked like he was going to retort but thought better of it. Sandy must have been an expert at anilingus. I wished I never knew that.
“It’s probably nothing,” I said, trying to distract them from the whole Jeremy thing. “Why do we automatically have to think it’s bad? Why can’t it be good news?”
“Huh,” Sandy said. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. That’s weird. Why are we so predisposed to think something is going to be terrible?”
“It’s his age,” Paul said, wincing as he took another sip of his drink before setting it down on the table next to the couch. “It sucks, but when an older person says they need to tell us something, it’s usually health related. Nana tried to keep her heart issues from us, but then she ended up in the hospital.”
“She’s doing okay now, though?” Darren asked.
Paul nodded. “Should be. Mom and Dad are keeping an eye on her, making sure she takes her meds and goes to all her appointments. She hates it, but I think she understands why. It’s just something that happens when you get older.”
“I wonder what we’re going to be like at that age?” Sandy mused. “We’re all still going to be together, obviously. Maybe in a retirement home where I’ll perform for everyone because I’ll still look amazing.”
“I would play chess all day,” Vince said. “Speaking of, I still need to learn how to play chess. Paul tried to teach me when we were on our honeymoon, but then I sucked him off instead.”
“Gross,” Sandy and I said at the same time.
Darren held out a fist, and Vince bumped it with his own. Homo jocks were so dumb.
Paul started to say something else, but then we heard a car pull up in the driveway.
And since we were all of the calm and collected variety, we allowed Charlie the opportunity to knock before we reacted.