I blinked. “Yeah. Why?”
“You’re walking funny. Did you hurt yourself? You look… stiff.”
“I saw that too,” Paul said. “You looked like you forgot how to bend your knees.”
Oh dear god. I glared at both of them as Jeremy choked next to me. “There’s nothing wrong with the way I walk!”
“Right,” Paul said slowly, glancing between me and Jeremy. “Probably seeing things.”
“Yes. You were. It’s not as if ohhhhhh fuuuuuck.” I barely stopped from jerking my hips as the egg started to vibrate in my ass. It was probably only at a two or three, but my eyes were threatening to roll back in my head, and I nearly bit my tongue as I clenched my teeth. Jeremy was looking down at the phone, fighting a smile as he swiped the screen. The vibrations stopped.
Charlie, Paul, and Vince were staring at me.
I smiled weakly. “I just remembered that I forgot to feed the cat.”
“You don’t have a cat,” Vince said. “Sandy’s allergic.”
My legs felt like they were going to give out. “That’s right! I feel better now. Thank you for that, Vince. You’re so wonderful.”
He preened.
Paul squinted at me. “You’re sweating. Are you sure you’re okay? Are you coming down with something?”
“No,” I said distractedly, trying to figure out how to get my phone back from Jeremy without looking crazed. I might not have thought this through. Story of my life. “But I’m going to be coming down on something if this doesn’t stop.”
Jeremy grunted next to me as if gut-punched.
Well, shit.
“Ha-ha!” I practically shouted. “That was a joke. Just a funny sex joke because that’s what we do! Always talkin’ ’bout fuckin’.”
Paul sniffed. “Really, Corey. Show some decorum. There’s a time and place for everything. A seedy bar filled with horny men is not it.”
“You’re so funny,” Vince told him with stars in his eyes. “I’m happy I married you.”
“Yeah?” Paul said, a nasty curl to his lips. “How happy?”
“Why don’t I show you?” Vince said, leaning forward.
They were both startled when Charlie squirted them with a spray bottle. “No,” he said. “Stop it.” He squirted them again. “Stop it right now.”
Paul hissed at him.
Charlie ignored him as he put the bottle back down next to his stool.
Vince wiped his face with his hand. “Thanks, Charlie. I needed that. I don’t want to make a scene. We already got kicked out of Sears last weekend.”
I gaped at them, aghast. “You fucked around in a Sears? What is wrong with you? That place smells like broken dreams!”
Paul pouted as he crossed his arms. “It’s not our fault. We just got married. We can’t always control it when it happens. One moment Vince was looking at power tools, and the next I needed to suck on his—” He snarled as Charlie sprayed him in the face. “Would you stop doing that!”
“Then shut up,” Charlie said.
“We need to go get a drink,” I announced, grabbing Jeremy by the hand and pulling him toward the door. “Anyone want anything?”
“Sure,” Paul said. “I’ll take a—”
“No? Are you sure? Okay! Bye!”