“What happens if he wins?” one of the kids asked.
“Then he does,” Jeremy said simply. “That won’t change how we operate.”
Diego rolled his eyes. “You won’t even be here. You’re temporary.”
I saw how much that stung, but Jeremy covered it up quickly. “Maybe not as the director. But that doesn’t mean I won’t still be involved. Do you really think I could leave you all behind? That’s not how this works.”
Diego looked like he was going to snipe at him but instead turned his attention on me. Oh joy. “What happens when they won’t let you go to the bathroom?”
I blinked. “What?”
“You’re at the mall,” he said. “You’re a girl. You have to piss. Do you go into the bathroom for girls or boys?”
Shit. “I use the restroom that matches my gender.”
“And have you ever gotten shit for it?”
I had. Once. I’d been nineteen on campus in New Hampshire. A security guard had been called. It’d been one of the most mortifying experiences of my life. It’d ended with a meeting with the dean, who had apologized profusely, all the while intimating that it might be best if I could hold it until I got home.
And it had worked. Because I’d done exactly that. Oh, when I was male, it was fine. I could whip out my dick and piss wherever the fuck I wanted. But when I was female, I needed to hold it. I was so angry and embarrassed that I didn’t even think about fighting back, not even when the LGBTQ resource center reached out to me, asking if they could talk to me. They had wanted to pursue it further, but I’d been ashamed. I should have fought harder. I should have done more. Instead I told them I just wanted to forget about it and move on.
It’d led to me not drinking anything while in class and taking a leak before I left my shitty apartment each day. I’d made it work, though I shouldn’t have had to.
“I have,” I said now, because I knew I needed to be as honest as possible. I saw Jeremy startle out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored him.
Diego nodded. “What happens if they make that, like, the law? Bathroom laws, or whatever they’re called. Like they did in North Carolina a few months ago.”
“Don’t go to North Carolina,” a girl with a shaved head said. “Simple as that.”
Diego rolled his eyes. “Not if they make it the law for the rest of the country.”
“Have any of you experienced discrimination like that?” Jeremy asked. “Trying to use a public restroom?”
I was dismayed when five hands went up. Kai was one of them. They were looking defiantly at me.
“There are checks and balances in place,” Marina said, coming to the rescue. “Even now there are challenges to the law in North Carolina. Suits have been filed on behalf of people just like you in groups whose job it is to protect our rights.”
“That’s not what’s going to change their minds,” Kai said. “It’s going to be all the companies saying they’ll pull out of the state.”
Jesus, they were a hell of a lot more informed than I’d ever been.
“Money talks,” Marina agreed. “And while it’s tough to think about, at least we know we have people on our side.”
?
??It’s good to know that our voices don’t matter,” Diego said angrily. “But they lose money and suddenly they’ll listen? That’s bullshit.”
“It is,” I said. “But sometimes we have weapons in our arsenal that we might not have thought about before. Think of it this way: these companies might not be your voice specifically, but they’re an extension of your voice. And we have to use everything we can to make sure we’re heard. They want to fight dirty? Fine. Let them. They’ll lose. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but I promise you that one day, these people who are fighting against us are going to be seen for exactly who they are.”
“Assholes,” Jeremy said cheerfully. “All of them are assholes.”
That caught Diego off guard as the rest of the kids burst into laughter.
Marina stepped in, shooting a playful glare at Jeremy. “Let’s think about some ways we can protect ourselves if we’re ever in a situation where we face discrimination. And I also want to talk more about our plans for Pride in September. I was thinking we should have a float in the parade. It’ll be our first one, and I want to hear all your ideas about how we can make it the best we can. I want all the people watching to know that Phoenix House is here to stay.”
“WE’RE IN trouble,” Marina said as she closed the door to Jeremy’s office later that afternoon.
I groaned. “Don’t say that.”