I choked and mimosa came out my nose. “Sorry,” I gasped. “Sorry. That went down the wrong tube.” I picked up my cloth napkin and wiped my nose.
“Are you sure you don’t want kids right now?” Vince asked Paul. “Because you know I’d give you anything you want.”
“See what you did?” Paul asked, glaring at his father.
“That’s not my fault,” Larry said. “My body wants grandbabies.”
“Subway,” Matty said. “That’s amazing. Reach for the stars, I always say.”
“Yes,” Octavius said. “I hope it will lead to my very own reality show on the telly.”
“Where you eat sandwiches and have kooky adventures,” Matty said. “I’d watch it.”
“You and Brian are dating now, huh?” Darren asked. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I think it’s a grand idea.” I curled my hand around Brian’s.
“Uh,” Brian said. “I’m not really into—”
“Hush, boo,” I said. “I’m talking. That means you shouldn’t be.”
“Okay.” Brian helped himself to more bacon with his free hand.
“You don’t even know him,” Darren said.
“Of course I do,” I said. “What, you think I’d find a complete stranger and bring him home and fuck him? I’m not you.”
“What’s his last name, then?” Darren asked.
“Landers.”
“Uh,” Brian said. “My last name is Jones.”
“Same thing,” I said dismissively before glaring back at Darren. “And what about you? What’s his last name?”
Darren flushed a little. He mumbled something under his breath.
“Sorry? Didn’t catch that.”
“He… doesn’t have one. It’s a modeling thing.”
“A modeling thing?” I said. “A modeling thing? So, when he was born, his mother looked down at him and saw ridiculous cheekbones and thought, hmm, my child will grow up to model footlong sandwiches, so he should have one name only. Oh, and that name should be Octavius, because why the hell not.”
“Do you know my mother?” Octavius asked, looking spooked.
“I often find myself in these situations,” Corey said.
“And what situations would those be, dear?” Nana asked.
“Confusing,” Corey said. “Hilarious, but confusing. I blame the people I surround myself with. Sometimes, I wonder why I don’t regret my life choices more than I do.”
“I’m not saying you have to have them right this second,” Larry argued. “I just think it’s good to plan ahead.”
“But what if we have a daughter and she’s popular and all the boys want to come to her yard?” Vince sounded irate. “I’m going to have to buy a shotgun just to scare them off. I don’t even know where to shop for shotguns! Is there one brand better than another? Can I get two of them?”
“Oh dear god,” Paul groaned. “How is this my life? We’re not even married, for fuck’s sake. Why are we even talking about this?”
“Because the heart wants what the heart wants,” Larry said. “And the heart wants grandbabies. Preferably not born out of wedlock, either. How can I explain to my grandkids why their daddies don’t love each other enough to get married?”