“I’m fine.” Vince started to hyperventilate.
“Jesus, calm down. I’m not popping anything out right now.” Paul frowned. “Or ever. Because I can’t.”
“But you would if you could,” Vince wheezed.
“This sounds weirdly familiar,” Corey said.
“Oh dear,” Matty said.
“I can’t help but feel as if this is my fault,” Larry said.
“It probably is,” Nana said.
“I’m having such a wonderful time.” Corey grinned at everyone.
“Of course you are, dear,” Nana said. “You’re sitting next to me.”
“So, Octavius,” Matty said, trying to redirect the conversation. “You’re a model. That must be exciting.”
“I suppose,” Octavius said, affecting an English accent, although he hadn’t been British five minutes ago. He looked over at me. “Do you have anything to eat that’s not full of carbs or trans fats? All I see is bacon and eggs and fat thighs in your future. Some nonfat vegan granola will be fine. And your orange juice has pulp. I can’t have pulp. It gives me gas.”
“That’s too bad,” I said. “Because all I have is extra pulp. It’s so pulpy, it’s like they put all the pulp in it.”
Octavius grimaced and then looked back at Darren, pouting slightly. “Darren, there’s no
thing here that I can have.”
“Maybe you should leave, then,” Darren said.
“I can’t.” He rested his chin on Darren’s shoulder. “We drove together, remember?” He leaned up and kissed Darren on the cheek.
“You’re very bad at this one-night-stand thing,” I told him.
“And you’re doing any better?” Darren retorted, looking pointedly at Brian.
“I invited him to brunch,” I said.
“You did?” Paul asked.
“Sure.” I reached over and took Brian’s hand in mine. “We had such a connection last night, didn’t we, Bri?”
“Sure,” Brian said, smiling, though he looked perplexed. “We connected all over the place.”
“It was very carnal,” I agreed. I didn’t remember most of it. “We carnally connected.”
“What kind of modeling do you do?” Matty asked Octavius. “I thought about getting into modeling myself, but I have a crooked tooth and unruly eyebrows.”
“Mom,” Paul said. “Leave him alone.”
“I like your crooked tooth,” Larry said. “And your unibrow.”
“Thank you.” She beamed.
“Do you know the Gucci store over on Broadway?” Octavius asked.
“Yes, I do,” Matty said, sounding impressed.
“There’s a Subway sandwich shop right next door to that,” he said, once again sounding English. “My picture is in the window on one of their ads. I’m eating a vegetarian footlong while playing football. Oh, sorry, as you Americans say, soccer.”